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[JOTD] Joke of the day


rudrax

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Karlston

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Karlston

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lurch234

Anyone remember the Astrology craze in the 1980's?

Huge hardcover books about every sign in the Zodiac?

Even asking someones sign became a pickup line in bars!

Speaking of which, I remember most of the girls I met at bars were born under the same sign: For rent!

 

-Rodney Dangerfield-

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Karlston

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Karlston

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Karlston

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Karlston

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Karlston

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ducky88

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention.

She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.

The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office, he was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it.

He did it and he returned to the classroom, where he sat down in his seat.

Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room.

She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out.

"I thought I told you to call your mother." she screamed.

"I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school.”

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Karlston

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Karlston

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Karlston

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Karlston

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Karlston

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Doctor: "Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news first?"
Patient: “Good new please!”


Doctor: “Well, we’re naming a disease after you.”

 

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While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.

 

Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?!"

 

"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"

"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.

About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?"

"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said.

 

"The sharks got 'em."

 

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A grocer put up a sign that read "Eggplants, 25 cents each — three for a dollar."


All day long, customers came in exclaiming: "Don't be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!"

Meekly the grocer agreed and packaged four eggplants.

 

The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer, "Aren't you going to fix the mistake on your sign?"


"What mistake?" the grocer asked. "Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant."

 

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Q. How does a man show he's planning for the future?

 

A. He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

 

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