aum Posted March 16 Share Posted March 16 A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. He says, "So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?" She says, "Bernie, I want a divorce." "My goodness," he says, "I wasn't planning on spending that much." Adenman, funkyy and ducky88 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted March 16 Share Posted March 16 sandman117, funkyy, ducky88 and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 17 Share Posted March 17 Karlston, Adenman, ducky88 and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 17 Share Posted March 17 The owner of a company tells his employees, “You worked very hard this year, therefore the company’s profits increased dramatically. As a reward, I'm giving everyone a check for $5,000!” Thrilled, the employees gather round and high five one another. “And if you work with the same zeal next year, I'll sign those checks!” TrojanK, ducky88, funkyy and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 17 Share Posted March 17 Exercise works best first thing in the morning. Before your brain figures out what you're doing. Karlston, Adenman, funkyy and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted March 18 Share Posted March 18 aum, Matrix, ducky88 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted March 19 Share Posted March 19 The old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks,"Where are you going?" He replies, "I'm going to the doctor." She says, "Why, are you sick?" He says, "Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra stuff." Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of her rocker and begins to put on her coat. He says, "Where the hell are you going"? She answers, "I'm going to the doctor, too." He says, "Why, what do you need?" She says, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm getting a tetanus shot. Karlston, aum, Matrix and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurch234 Posted March 19 Share Posted March 19 (edited) A hard of hearing old man goes to the doctor with his wife. After the physical checkup, the doctor asks the old man for a sample of his stool and urine. "What!? I cant hear you!" yells the old man. "I need a sample of your stool and urine!" yells back the doctor. "What does he want!?" the old man yells back to his wife. "He wants your underwear!" the wife yells back. Edited March 19 by lurch234 Matrix and TrojanK 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 19 Share Posted March 19 Adenman, Karlston and ducky88 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 19 Share Posted March 19 Adenman, TrojanK and Alfabravo 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 19 Share Posted March 19 Adenman and Karlston 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 19 Share Posted March 19 Adenman 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 19 Share Posted March 19 ducky88, Adenman, TrojanK and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 19 Share Posted March 19 Adenman 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 19 Share Posted March 19 Adenman and ducky88 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 19 Share Posted March 19 Adenman and TrojanK 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 19 Share Posted March 19 Adenman 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 19 Share Posted March 19 Adenman 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 19 Share Posted March 19 Adenman and ducky88 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 19 Share Posted March 19 Adenman 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 19 Share Posted March 19 Adenman and TrojanK 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 19 Share Posted March 19 Karlston, ducky88, funkyy and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dce3480 Posted March 19 Share Posted March 19 (edited) Edited March 23 by Dce3480 funkyy, lurch234, ducky88 and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted March 19 Share Posted March 19 ducky88 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurch234 Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 Karlston, TrojanK, ducky88 and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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