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[JOTD] Joke of the day


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The Rhinoceros Beetle can lift up to 100 times its own weight. That means it could carry 8 Ultrabooks on its back.


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Please, do not post animations larger than 500 KB in this thread.

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It's actually much harder, if you know what I mean :P

Simplify please :rolleyes:

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No problem rudax... why 500kb ? did I miss anything in posting rules?

Nope, you didn't miss anything. Your one is 490 KB, so no problem with that. If one posts larger animations, the page will become heavy and will take lot of time to load on slower connections.

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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.

"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

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Computer Diagnosis

One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.

''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."

Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he m@sturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."

Edited by rudrax
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Teacher Fell Asleep In Class And A Little Naughty Boy Walked Up To Him,
Little Boy : “Teacher Are You Sleeping In Class?”
Teacher : “No I Am Not Sleeping In Class.”
Little Boy : “What Were You Doing Sir?”
Teacher : ” I Was Talking To God.”
The Next Day The Naughty Boy FellAsleep In Class And The Same
Teacher Walks Up To Him
Teacher : “Young Man, You Are Sleeping In My Class.”
Little Boy : “No Not Me Sir, I Am Not Sleeping.”
Angry Teacher: “What Were You Doing.??”
Little Boy : “I Was Talking To God.”
Angry Teacher: “What Did He Say??”
Little Boy : “God Said He Never Spoke To You Yesterday” ::-) :-D

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4 drunk guys rudrax, shought, DKT27 and dcs18 have entered in a taxi.

The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again and said, "We have reached your destination".

rudrax gave him money.

shought said, "Thank you".

DKT27 slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking DKT27 knew what he did. But then he asked "What was that for?". DKT27 replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly screwed us!"

dcs18 said to the driver, "Sorry man, that was rough."


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