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[JOTD] Joke of the day


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Lost in translation....

Our Administrator's still searching...

1269039866_cables-emmeles-1fceee5.jpg

Just when will this Poor Bloke Finish his Search :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o ????? Cuz its very easy to get lost and Confused in this maze of Wires .... :D :D :D :D :D :D

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Our Administrator's still searching...

1269039866_cables-emmeles-1fceee5.jpg

Just when will this Poor Bloke Finish his Search :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o ????? Cuz its very easy to get lost and Confused in this maze of Wires .... :D :D :D :D :D :D

He's still there and searching ^_^

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Best Dog names

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were??

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and other was named Timex.

Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'

'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'!!!! :unsure: :unsure: :unsure: :unsure:

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Top Ten Reasons Why Haloweem Trick-or-Treating is Better Than getting Laid !!

1. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

2. If you get tired, wait ten minutes and go back at it again.

3. The stranger you look, the easier it is to get some.

4. You don't have to compliment the person who gave it to you.

5. Person you are with doesn't fantasize you're someone else, you already are.

6. If you get a stomach ache, it won't last nine months.

7. If you wear leather and chains, no one thinks you're kinky.

8. Doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.

9. Less guilt the next morning from over-indulging.

10. If you don't get what you want at one place, you can always go next door to get more!

:showoff: :showoff: :showoff: :showoff: :showoff:

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What their Marriage Needed

A husband and wife are having major problems after 15 years of marriage, so they go to a counselor.

The counselor asks them what the problem is. The wife launches into a tirade, listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married. She goes on and on and on.

Finally, the counselor gets up, walks around the desk, embraces the wife and kisses her very passionately. The woman shuts up and stares at him quietly in a daze.

The counselor then turns to the husband and says,: "Your wife is lonely. This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thinks for a moment and replies,: "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but Tuesdays I play poker, Thursdays I go bowling, and Fridays I go sailing. Do you work Saturdays?" :( :( :( :( :( :(

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What their Marriage Needed

A husband and wife are having major problems after 15 years of marriage, so they go to a counselor.

The counselor asks them what the problem is. The wife launches into a tirade, listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married. She goes on and on and on.

Finally, the counselor gets up, walks around the desk, embraces the wife and kisses her very passionately. The woman shuts up and stares at him quietly in a daze.

The counselor then turns to the husband and says,: "Your wife is lonely. This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thinks for a moment and replies,: "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but Tuesdays I play poker, Thursdays I go bowling, and Fridays I go sailing. Do you work Saturdays?" :( :( :( :( :( :(

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

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nlYf9Zx.gif

A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves.

The wife doesn't like it and moves on but the husband keeps looking.

The wife asks, "What are you waiting for?"

The husband replies, "Autumn."

Edited by slimrock
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What their Marriage Needed

A husband and wife are having major problems after 15 years of marriage, so they go to a counselor.

The counselor asks them what the problem is. The wife launches into a tirade, listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married. She goes on and on and on.

Finally, the counselor gets up, walks around the desk, embraces the wife and kisses her very passionately. The woman shuts up and stares at him quietly in a daze.

The counselor then turns to the husband and says,: "Your wife is lonely. This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thinks for a moment and replies,: "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but Tuesdays I play poker, Thursdays I go bowling, and Fridays I go sailing. Do you work Saturdays?" :( :( :( :( :( :(

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

sadly i actually know guys like that..and they have no idea why they got divorced

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A Man Is Lying In Bed In The Hospital With An Oxygen Mask Over His Mouth. A Young Nurse Appears To Sponge His Hands And Feet.

“Nurse” He Mumbles From Behind The Mask “Are My Testicles Black?” :innocent:
:innocent:

Embarrassed, The Young Nurse Replies “I Don’t Know, I’m Only Here To Wash Your Hands And Feet”. :ablow:

He Struggles Again To Ask, “Nurse, Are My Testicles Black?” :innocent:

Finally, She Pulls Back The Covers, Raises His Gown, Holds His Penis In One Hand And His Testicles In Her Other Hand And Takes A Close Look, And Says “There Is Nothing Wrong With Them!” :nono: :nono:

Finally, The Man Pulls Off His Oxygen Mask And Replies “That Was Very Nice But, I'm asking Are… My… Test… Results… Back? :P :P :P

Edited by Roger D
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:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

A CHINESE GUY CALLS (read out loud)

Caller: Hello can i speak to Annie wan?

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me. .
...
Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie wan!

Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this?

Caller: I'm Sam Wan and I need to talk to Annie Wan!

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone, But what's this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well. .Just tell my sister Annie wan that on brother Noe wan was involved in an accident. Noe wan was injured and now Noe wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery wan is on to the hospital.

Operator: Look, If no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, the accident isn't an urgent matter!
You may find this hilarious but I don't have time to this

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Ree
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!


Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree!

Edited by slimrock
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One morning at a doctor 's clinic a well built man arrives complaining of severe
back pain, the doctor examines him
and asks OK what happened to your
back?
The patient replies "you know that I
... work as a bouncer for a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment
early and heard a noise in my
bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony
door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone.
As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was
dressing himself.
I grabbed the fridge
and threw it at him.
Thats how I strained my back"

The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck.
The doctor said "My previous patient looked bad.
but you look terrible. What the hell happened to you?"
He replied, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now. Today
was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running late. I was running out of the building,
getting dressed at the same time, and you wont believe it but I was hit by a
fridge."

Then the 3rd patient arrives;
He even looks worse than the other two patients do and shivering like a reed.
The doctor is now shocked.
Again asks, "What the hell happened to
you.....!!?"

"Well, it started like this.... I was sitting in my neighbor's fridge"

Edited by slimrock
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Oxygen mask

This term reminds me a real joke while we were playing cricket in the field a few years ago. We were playing friendly match. At that time the safe guard (testicle protector) was just introduced. A player was out and he pulled out the "safe guard" and left it near the boundary line. There used to be a funny jolly type man nearby. He just had arrived there and being ignorant of the "safe guard" he put that "safe guard" in his mouth and began to act as if he is in hospital and taking oxygen and was respirating heavily. All began to laugh and told him what a "safe guard" actually is. He left being a funny guy onwards.

Edited by rudrax
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Oxygen mask

This term reminds me a real joke while we were playing cricket in the field a few years ago. We were playing friendly match. At that time the safe guard (testicle protector) was just introduced. A played was out and he pulled out the "safe guard" and left it near the boundary line. There used to be a funny jolly type man nearby. He just had arrived there and being ignorant of the "safe guard" he put that "safe guard" in his mouth and began to act as if he is in hospital and taking oxygen and was respirating heavily. All began to laugh and told him what a "safe guard" actually is. He left being a funny guy onwards.

:lol: :lmao: :lmao:

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A dedicated thread appropriately titled " Joke of the Day " has been pinned in this sub-forum .
Hence the joke topic Oxygen Mask merged with the original thread as a post .

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