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[JOTD] Joke of the day


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Lost in translation....

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away.

The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150."

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked,"Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"

The man replied, "Long ago a man called Jesus Christ died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance.

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A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away.

The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150."

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked,"Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"

The man replied, "Long ago a man called Jesus Christ died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :pope:

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Bf texting to his Gf... Hey baby..what's up.? :rolleyes:

Gf- Nothing much just washing my BOOBS..
Bf- What.! :o


Gf- Yeah. They have become very dirty. In last night party your friends were all over them most of the time ..

Bf- What the hell.. really?

Gf- Why..??? Ohhhh fuck..
Sorry baby!!!! I meant BOOTS ... Damn this Automatic dictionary is on!!!! :P

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Edited by Roger D
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Bf texting to his Gf... Hey baby..what's up.? :rolleyes:

Gf- Nothing much just washing my BOOBS..

Bf- What.! :o

Gf- Yeah. They have become very dirty. In last night party your friends were all over them most of the time ..

Bf- What the hell.. really?

Gf- Why..??? Ohhhh fuck..

Sorry baby!!!! I meant BOOTS ... Damn this Automatic dictionary is on!!!! :P

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Sexe34.gif

MDR98.gif

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A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away.

The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150."

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked,"Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"

The man replied, "Long ago a man called Jesus Christ died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance.

Oh myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...... :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o . This is Absolutely Off The Hook !!!!!!!!!!!!! I laughed so much my Stomach hurt . :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: .. Thanks so much for this joke .. :D :D :D :D :D :D :D Cheers and have a nice day .... :) :) :)

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Worry that your credit card number has been stolen online? Worry no more, this new software checks whether your card is safe or not.

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:P

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Police Help !!

Lady: calls Police - Hello? I need your help!
Police: Yes, What is it? How can we help you ? Are you in Distress ??
Lady: Two Men are Fighting over me!
Police: So what's your emergency?
Lady: The Ugly one is Winning.

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :P :P :P

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Could i go Back in Time ?

Husband (watching a video):Don't do it! I swear you gonna regret it for the rest of your life. You stupid idiot! Don't say yes. No! No! NOOO!! Awww damn !!! He actually did it! What a dumb ass!!! :angry: :angry: :angry: :angry: :angry:
Wife: Honey, why you so mad? What are you watching? :( :( :( :(
Husband: Am watching our wedding ceremony !!! :s :s :s :s :s :s <_< <_< <_<

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Wedding Anniversary Gift

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed.

She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I want to see a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"

The next morning, Bob got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale !!! :unsure: :unsure: :unsure: :unsure: :unsure: :unsure: :huh: :huh:

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