[JOTD] Joke of the day

[kn_andre]

Am not sure this was done by Women ... Because Women are better Drivers than Men ..Yeah !!! :P :P ... So, i guess you all know who really done this road Raging ,,,,,:P :P .. Cheers

[kn_andre]

Mega LoL .... Ok Tough Guys , Let me put a Question to you all - If your Wife/Lover/Girlfriend/Mistress/Baby Mama were to Crash your Car, what would you do ?? I expect all your Responses guys, so Please indulge me .. Cheers.. :P

[Lyon275]

:lol:

Edited January 3, 2014 by Lyon275

[SlimRock]

[STEEL]

Edited January 3, 2014 by STEEL

[STEEL]

[dMog]

hmm gotta thing hard on that one

[STEEL]

hmm gotta thing hard on that one

:lol: :P

[dMog]

oops meat to say think...not thing

[Turk]

One day my punkie redhead wife decided to wash her

Sweatshirt. Seconds after she stepped into the laundry room,

she shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"

She yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

[Yorel]

We won't know who was more patience :lol: :lol:

[STEEL]

[STEEL]

[Turk]

A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant.

So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the gentleman who is seated over there.' ..and indicated the sender with a nod of his head.

She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not

looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note.

The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.

The note read:

'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants '

After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady.

It read:

'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be, I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my several garages; I have beautiful homes in Aspen , Miami , and a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana . There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you are, would I cut off three inches. Just send the bottle back.'

[STEEL]

Monkey See Monkey Do:

A man was driving down the road with his monkey in the back of his van. He sees a hitchhiker and picks him up.

They were going down the road talking, when the monkey came flying up front and unzipped the drivers pants and goes to town on him.

The man slaps the monkey and makes him go to the back of the van. A few minutes later the same thing happens.

The hitchhiker said "Man that is amazing I have never seen anything like that"

The driver says " Do you want to try it?"

The hitchhiker said:

"Yes, But don't hit me that hard!"

Fathead:

A father and son walk into a bar and the dads says to the son.

"What do you want fathead?" The son stumbles on his words and the father again says, "What do you want fathead?"

A lady close by says, "Why do you keep calling your son fathead".

And he replies, "Well lady there are 3 things a man has to have in his life to be a successful man.

Number one you got to have a big truck, see my truck over There? Biggest truck in the county.

Second. You got to have a big house. See that house down up the street? That's mine, the house biggest house in the county.

And thirdly you have to have a tight pussy, and I had one,

till this fathead came along."

[SlimRock]

Monkey See Monkey Do:

A man was driving down the road with his monkey in the back of his van. He sees a hitchhiker and picks him up.

They were going down the road talking, when the monkey came flying up front and unzipped the drivers pants and goes to town on him.

The man slaps the monkey and makes him go to the back of the van. A few minutes later the same thing happens.

The hitchhiker said "Man that is amazing I have never seen anything like that"

The driver says " Do you want to try it?"

The hitchhiker said:

"Yes, But don't hit me that hard!"

Fathead:

A father and son walk into a bar and the dads says to the son.

"What do you want fathead?" The son stumbles on his words and the father again says, "What do you want fathead?"

A lady close by says, "Why do you keep calling your son fathead".

And he replies, "Well lady there are 3 things a man has to have in his life to be a successful man.

Number one you got to have a big truck, see my truck over There? Biggest truck in the county.

Second. You got to have a big house. See that house down up the street? That's mine, the house biggest house in the county.

And thirdly you have to have a tight pussy, and I had one,

till this fathead came along."

:rolleyes: :thumbsup: Super! joke of the Day! :rofl:

[soundtwo]

it's very funny :lol:

[STEEL]

Mega LoL .... Ok Tough Guys , Let me put a Question to you all - If your Wife/Lover/Girlfriend/Mistress/Baby Mama were to Crash your Car, what would you do ?? I expect all your Responses guys, so Please indulge me .. Cheers.. :P

Hey Baby, I want U to crash my Car!!! :P

Oops, it's a £700,000 prang... Hapless blonde crashes her Bentley into a Merc, Porsche, Ferrari and Aston Martin

Edited January 6, 2014 by STEEL

[kn_andre]

A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant.So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the gentleman who is seated over there.' ..and indicated the sender with a nod of his head.She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, notlooking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note.The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.The note read:'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants 'After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady.It read:'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be, I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my several garages; I have beautiful homes in Aspen , Miami , and a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana . There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you are, would I cut off three inches. Just send the bottle back.'

Don't Judge a Book by Its Cover ...... Boom and it Exploded on her Face ....ouchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....:P :P Cheers ..

[kn_andre]

Mega LoL .... Ok Tough Guys , Let me put a Question to you all - If your Wife/Lover/Girlfriend/Mistress/Baby Mama were to Crash your Car, what would you do ?? I expect all your Responses guys, so Please indulge me .. Cheers.. :P

Hey Baby, I want U to crash my Car!!! :P

Oops, it's a £700,000 prang... Hapless blonde crashes her Bentley into a Merc, Porsche, Ferrari and Aston Martin

Seriously ???????????? Is this your Answer or you didn't get my Question ??? I said " Let me put a Question to you all - If your Wife/Lover/Girlfriend/Mistress/Baby Mama were to Crash your Car, what would you do ?? So - What is your Answer??:P :P Cheers

[kn_andre]

In a Weird Way, they are both " Technically " Correct .... :P :P Cheers

[Turk]

A very pretty young speech therapist was getting absolutely

nowhere with her Adult aStammerer's Action Group.

She had tried every technique in the book,

but still they stammered and stuttered.

Finally, totally exasperated, she said :

"If any of you can tell me where you were born,

without stuttering, I will have wild and passionate

sex with you until your muscles ache and your eyes water."

The young Englishman immediately piped up :

"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-irmingham"

"That's no use, Trevor" said the speech therapist,

"Who's next?"

The young Scotsman raised his hand and blurted out:

"G-g-g-g-g-g-gl-lasgow".

" Nah, That's no better either, Hamish.

Now, how about you, Paddy?"

The young Irishman, remembered what he had been

taught, took a deep breath, counted to 5 and

eventually blurted out : " London ".

"Brilliant, Paddy !!" said the speech therapist ...

and immediately took him to the next room

and set about living up to her promise.

After 15 minutes of exceptionally steamy sex,

they paused for breath and Paddy then said :

".... d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-erry".

[Yorel]

A very pretty young speech therapist was getting absolutely
nowhere with her Adult aStammerer's Action Group.

She had tried every technique in the book,
but still they stammered and stuttered.
Finally, totally exasperated, she said :
"If any of you can tell me where you were born,
without stuttering, I will have wild and passionate
sex with you until your muscles ache and your eyes water."
The young Englishman immediately piped up :
"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-irmingham"

"That's no use, Trevor" said the speech therapist,
"Who's next?"
The young Scotsman raised his hand and blurted out:
"G-g-g-g-g-g-gl-lasgow".

" Nah, That's no better either, Hamish.
Now, how about you, Paddy?"
The young Irishman, remembered what he had been
taught, took a deep breath, counted to 5 and
eventually blurted out : " London ".
"Brilliant, Paddy !!" said the speech therapist ...
and immediately took him to the next room
and set about living up to her promise.
After 15 minutes of exceptionally steamy sex,
they paused for breath and Paddy then said :
".... d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-erry".

:lol: :lol: :lol: . BTW, only 15 minutes? :P

[soundtwo]

Hi I got one : :lol:

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis,"

and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

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