Karlston Posted September 27, 2022 Share Posted September 27, 2022 flash13, ducky88, funkyy and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurch234 Posted September 28, 2022 Share Posted September 28, 2022 ducky88 and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debebee Posted September 28, 2022 Share Posted September 28, 2022 13 minutes ago, lurch234 said: crowning? 🤔 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pc71520 Posted September 28, 2022 Share Posted September 28, 2022 Where do pencils go on vacation? Pennsylvania. aum, Karlston and ducky88 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted September 28, 2022 Share Posted September 28, 2022 The crumbling, old church building needed remodeling, so the preacher made an impassioned appeal, looking directly at the richest may in town. At the end of the message, the rich man stood up and announced, "Pastor, I will contribute $1,000." Just then, plaster fell from the ceiling and struck the rich man on the shoulder. He promptly stood again and shouted, "Pastor, I will increase my donation to $5,000." Before he could sit back down, plaster fell on him again, and again he virtually screamed, "Pastor, I will double my last pledge." He sat down, and an larger chunk of plaster fell hitting him on the head. He stood once more and hollered, "Pastor, I will give $20,000!" This prompted a deacon to shout, "Hit him again, Lord! Hit him again!" TrojanK, Karlston and ducky88 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted September 28, 2022 Share Posted September 28, 2022 Hopefully he's wearing the same blue top or they'll never find him funkyy, aum, flash13 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funkyy Posted September 28, 2022 Share Posted September 28, 2022 20 hours ago, lurch234 said: Been there, got the T-shirt. ducky88, flash13, Karlston and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flash13 Posted September 29, 2022 Share Posted September 29, 2022 funkyy, aum, Homer Simpsom and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pc71520 Posted September 29, 2022 Share Posted September 29, 2022 Why don’t you buy things with Velcro? It’s a rip-off. ducky88, aum and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted September 29, 2022 Share Posted September 29, 2022 I got attacked by ransomware and was asked for money. I sent them my pay stub. Not only did they immediately remove the malware from my system, but they also put some money into my account. Karlston and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted September 29, 2022 Share Posted September 29, 2022 Ron, an elderly man in Australia, had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond at the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange and lime trees. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence, and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" Ron frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up Ron said, "I'm here to feed the alligator." Karlston and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted September 29, 2022 Share Posted September 29, 2022 TrojanK, funkyy, ducky88 and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted September 29, 2022 Share Posted September 29, 2022 flash13, TrojanK, funkyy and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted September 29, 2022 Share Posted September 29, 2022 Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong. "Well," replies Paul, "You know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an e*ection every time I saw her?" "Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh. "Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally worked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed." "That's great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?" "I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I'd get an e*ection again. So I got some duct tape and taped "IT" to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show". "Sensible" says Jeff. "So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, sexiest, dress you ever saw." "And what happened then?" asked Jeff. "I kicked her in the face." funkyy, TrojanK, aum and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pc71520 Posted September 30, 2022 Share Posted September 30, 2022 The past, present, and future walked into a bar. Things got a little...tense. aum, ducky88, funkyy and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted September 30, 2022 Share Posted September 30, 2022 Why is girlfriend one word but best friend is two words? Because your best friend gives you space when you need it. flash13, Karlston, funkyy and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted September 30, 2022 Share Posted September 30, 2022 Morris is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker, Joe, is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense." "Hey Joe, he yells out - I didn't know you were into earrings." "Don't make such a big deal out of it,...it's only an earring." Says Joe sheepishly. "No really," probes Morris, "How long have you been wearing one?" "Ever since my wife found it in our bed." funkyy, Karlston and ducky88 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted September 30, 2022 Share Posted September 30, 2022 funkyy, ducky88 and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted September 30, 2022 Share Posted September 30, 2022 My colorblind husband did the laundry ducky88, aum, flash13 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted September 30, 2022 Share Posted September 30, 2022 I like to make my wife lattes in the morning, it gives me a chance to slip in subliminal messages ducky88, TrojanK, flash13 and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted October 1, 2022 Share Posted October 1, 2022 I don’t curse, I speak fluent trucker with a sailor dialect and a construction site accent. aum, Karlston and flash13 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pc71520 Posted October 1, 2022 Share Posted October 1, 2022 Boy: The principal is so dumb! Girl: Do you know who I am? Boy: No... Girl: I am the principal's daughter! Boy: Do you know who I am? Girl: No! Boy: Good! (Walks away). flash13, Akaneharuka, aum and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flash13 Posted October 1, 2022 Share Posted October 1, 2022 Karlston, Archimede, TrojanK and 3 others 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted October 1, 2022 Share Posted October 1, 2022 (edited) Americans are getting stronger. 20 years ago, it took two adults to carry $50 worth of groceries. Today, a 5 year-old can carry them! Edited October 1, 2022 by aum TrojanK, flash13 and ducky88 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted October 1, 2022 Share Posted October 1, 2022 A group of guys were chatting with a good-looking blonde and, somewhat improbably, asked her to climb this pole that was conveniently nearby. For whatever reason, she decided to do it. When she told her mother what happened, her mother scolded her: "Don't you understand that they only wanted to see your underwear?" The girl was understandably upset at being very stupid and naive, and decided to show those boys a thing or two. The next day, they repeated their request, and when she came home she was beaming. "What are you so happy about?" asked her mother. "I totally showed them. Today I didn't even wear underwear!" Karlston, flash13, ducky88 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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