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[JOTD] Joke of the day


rudrax

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My friend made some fudge and brought it over with a note

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The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line.


When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, 'You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus.'

 

'Forget the bonus,' the turkey said, 'All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?'
 

  • Haha 2
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My mom always said, if it was a snake it would’ve bit you!

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby.

The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”

 

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.

She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”

 

The man says: “You go up there and tell him off.

Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

:tooth:

 

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Tell me I’m not the only one

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An old French lady had a small shop in her village for years until one day a huge corporate supermarket set up across the road from her little shop:


They put up signs advertising their prices, including one that said: Butter – 10 euros
In response, the old lady added a sign to her own window: Butter – 9 euros


The next day, the big supermarket had a new sign: Butter – 8 euros
Sure enough, the day after the lady’s sign now read: Butter – 7 euros


This went on for a while until eventually one of the lady’s customers pointed to the sign and said, “Madame, you cannot keep your prices so low for long. These big companies can use their buying power to sell products cheaper, but a little store like yours can never compete.”


In response, the old lady bent forward conspiratorially and muttered.


“Monsieur, I don’t even sell butter.”

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100 years ago, everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars.

Today everyone has a car and only the rich have horses.

Oh, how the stables have turned.

  • Haha 3
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I’ve been waiting most of my life for this.

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Six year olds are very literal

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There was a guy on the beach with about 25 gorgeous chicks swarming all around him.


Seeing this, a second guy strolls on up to him and asks, "What's your secret?"


The guy whispers, "All you gotta do is stick a pickle in your pants."


In a flourish, the second guy runs off and stuffs a pickle in his pants. But when he returns to the shore, he soon discovers that every single girl that looks his way, runs off screaming in bloody terror. Confused, he hurries over to the first guy and desperately asks, "Why are all the girls running away from me?"


The first guy looks up and replies, "The pickle's on the wrong side."

 

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15 hours ago, ducky88 said:

Someone posted they had just baked some synonym buns.

I replied, you mean just like the ones my grammar used to make?

Now I am blocked.

Some people have a thin humor!

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Appliance repair shop responds to a bad review

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