Krinal Posted June 12, 2020 Share Posted June 12, 2020 I’ve always thought my neighbors were quite nice people. But then they put a password on their Wi-Fi. Karlston, TrojanK, Roy786 and 2 others 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted June 12, 2020 Share Posted June 12, 2020 Akaneharuka, vitorio, Krinal and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 (edited) Dentist: “This will hurt a little.” Patient: “OK.” Dentist: “I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now.” ___________________________________________________________ I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone. Edited June 13, 2020 by Rajeshl Karlston, TrojanK, Roy786 and 3 others 2 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Akaneharuka Posted June 13, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 13, 2020 (edited) Edit Edited June 13, 2020 by Akaneharuka ghost, TrojanK, vitorio and 4 others 4 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 Krinal, ghost, jbleck and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted June 14, 2020 Share Posted June 14, 2020 (edited) “Waiter, the steak is smelling very strongly of liquor!” The waiter backs up 3 steps and asks, “How’s that now? _______________________________________________ Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion. _____________________________________________ Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life? Her: Awww... Yes!!! Me: Good then stay 92.96 million miles away from me. Edited June 14, 2020 by Rajeshl Roy786, syd5237, Pequi and 3 others 2 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted June 14, 2020 Share Posted June 14, 2020 polinom00, kyber, ghost and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted June 15, 2020 Share Posted June 15, 2020 (edited) A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone." Edited June 15, 2020 by Rajeshl Roy786, leapinlizards, Karlston and 2 others 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polinom00 Posted June 15, 2020 Share Posted June 15, 2020 No thank you. flash13, kyber, ghost and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted June 15, 2020 Share Posted June 15, 2020 An uneducated father with his educated son went for a camping they set up a tent and slept. Father gets up after sometime and asks his son "what can you see in the sky?" son : I can see many stars. father : what does it resemble? son : there are many planets. father beats on his sons head and says "Someone has stolen our tent" TrojanK, ghost, Karlston and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted June 15, 2020 Share Posted June 15, 2020 Krinal, leapinlizards, kyber and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted June 16, 2020 Share Posted June 16, 2020 Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now ! Employee: How? Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left. TrojanK, Karlston, kyber and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted June 16, 2020 Share Posted June 16, 2020 flash13, Krinal, ghost and 2 others 1 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Karlston Posted June 18, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 18, 2020 Son finally got a girlfriend long enough to feel confident enough to introduce her to his parents. He set off with girlfriend in her car but got a flat tyre on the way. In case the parents were worried he called them up to explain, mum answered the phone, ''Hi Mum, I'm going to be late, my girlfriend's got a puncture." Spoiler "Oh" she sighed. "and there was I thinking you were bringing a real one" flash13, Krinal, kyber and 4 others 2 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 A scientist and a philosopher are being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist makes some quick calculations and says, “It's no good trying to outrun it. It's catching up!” The philosopher keeps a little ahead and replies, “I'm not trying to outrun the lion, I'm trying to outrun you!” flash13, kyber, vitorio and 3 others 2 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flash13 Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 Krinal and ghost 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rainmaker Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 Pro Tip. If you find yourself dreaming, and you happen to see a toilet, don't use it. //R Krinal, Pequi, ghost and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: "I'm just kidding!" Roy786, kyber, Karlston and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Karlston Posted June 18, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 18, 2020 Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. Glibido (v): All talk and no action. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole. Krinal, ghost, kyber and 4 others 5 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Krinal Posted June 19, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 19, 2020 A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked puzzled. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere." kyber, Karlston, ghost and 5 others 2 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ajay1982 Posted June 19, 2020 Share Posted June 19, 2020 What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing…It just waved lurch234, Pequi and Karlston 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ajay1982 Posted June 19, 2020 Share Posted June 19, 2020 21 minutes ago, Ajay1982 said: What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing…It just waved Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!" ghost, kyber, Krinal and 2 others 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Karlston Posted June 19, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 19, 2020 kyber, Roy786, leapinlizards and 4 others 2 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted June 20, 2020 Share Posted June 20, 2020 A couple drives to the hospital because the wife is in labor. The doctor alerts them that she invented a machine that will transfer some of the labor pain to the father, if they'd like. The husband eagerly says, "Give it all to me!" The couple returns home with a bouncing baby boy, only to find the mailman dead on their lawn. Karlston, Pequi, Roy786 and 3 others 2 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Karlston Posted June 20, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 20, 2020 haris_sane69, Krinal, lurch234 and 5 others 2 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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