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[JOTD] Joke of the day

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Lost in translation....

She: I have a doctor’s appointment today but I really don’t want to go…

He: Just call in sick then.






Q. Why do the French like to eat snails so much? 

A. They can’t stand fast food.

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Dentist: “This will hurt a little.” 

Patient: “OK.” 

Dentist: “I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now.”




I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow.

When I woke up, my pillow was gone.

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“Waiter, the steak is smelling very strongly of liquor!”

The waiter backs up 3 steps and asks, “How’s that now?




Q: Is Google male or female?

A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.




Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?  

Her: Awww... Yes!!!  

Me: Good then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.



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A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?"

"That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies.

After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?"

"Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."

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An uneducated father with his educated son went for a camping they set up a tent and slept.

Father gets up after sometime and asks his son "what can you see in the sky?"

son : I can see many stars. 

father : what does it resemble?

son : there are many planets. 

father beats on his sons head and says

"Someone has stolen our tent"

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Boss: Do you believe in life after death?

Employee: No, because there is no proof of it.

Boss: Well there is now !

Employee: How?

Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left.

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A scientist and a philosopher are being chased by a hungry lion.

The scientist makes some quick calculations and says, “It's no good trying to outrun it. It's catching up!”

The philosopher keeps a little ahead and replies, “I'm not trying to outrun the lion, I'm trying to outrun you!”

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Wife: "How would you describe me?"


Wife: "What does that mean?"

Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."

Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"

Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

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