aum Posted July 2, 2020 Share Posted July 2, 2020 A gentleman entered a busy florist shop that displayed a large sign that read "Say It With Flowers." "Wrap up one rose," he told the florist. "Only one?" the florist asked. "Just one," the customer replied. "I'm a man of few words." ghost, Karlston and Krinal 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted July 2, 2020 Share Posted July 2, 2020 Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom? Little Johnny: But I asked first! Akaneharuka, TrojanK, Karlston and 2 others 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted July 3, 2020 Share Posted July 3, 2020 Hid my earlier post, it was in poor taste. Apologies... ghost, TrojanK, haris_sane69 and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted July 3, 2020 Share Posted July 3, 2020 Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared. "Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled. "I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now." The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime. "Well, you see my wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk." TrojanK, Karlston, Akaneharuka and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted July 3, 2020 Share Posted July 3, 2020 Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink. Karlston, ghost and aum 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted July 3, 2020 Share Posted July 3, 2020 Akaneharuka, Krinal, ghost and 1 other 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akaneharuka Posted July 4, 2020 Share Posted July 4, 2020 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 TrojanK, Karlston, ghost and 3 others 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted July 4, 2020 Share Posted July 4, 2020 My daughter wanted to go Goth and paint her toenails really dark. I just lost it and screamed there is no way I would allow that in my house. Spoiler Apparently, I’m black toes intolerant. ghost, Krinal and kyber 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akaneharuka Posted July 4, 2020 Share Posted July 4, 2020 ghost, Karlston, Radpop and 3 others 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurch234 Posted July 4, 2020 Share Posted July 4, 2020 On 7/2/2020 at 10:00 PM, Karlston said: Hid my earlier post, it was in poor taste. Apologies... Old Mister Peabody? :24 seconds in Krinal and Karlston 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted July 4, 2020 Share Posted July 4, 2020 A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping." Krinal, TrojanK, Radpop and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted July 4, 2020 Share Posted July 4, 2020 Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I". Student: I is the.... Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I". Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet ghost, Karlston, TrojanK and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted July 4, 2020 Share Posted July 4, 2020 Krinal and ghost 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted July 5, 2020 Share Posted July 5, 2020 Doctor says to his patient: "You have cancer and Alzheimer." Patient: "At least I don't have cancer." ghost 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted July 5, 2020 Share Posted July 5, 2020 (edited) An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and aftereating,the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we wentout to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.' The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?' The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?You know... The one that's red and has thorns.' 'Do you mean a rose?' 'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night? Edited July 5, 2020 by aum Karlston, TrojanK and ghost 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted July 5, 2020 Share Posted July 5, 2020 An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth-control pills." Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 72 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?" The woman responded, "They help me sleep better." The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?" The woman said, "Simple. I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice every morning and I sleep better at night." ghost, kyber and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted July 5, 2020 Share Posted July 5, 2020 A secretary walked into her boss's office and said, "I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you." "Why do you always have to give me bad news?" he complained. "Tell me some good news for once." "Alright, here's some good news," said the secretary. "You're not sterile." Karlston, ghost, TrojanK and 3 others 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted July 5, 2020 Share Posted July 5, 2020 TrojanK and ghost 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted July 6, 2020 Share Posted July 6, 2020 flash13, Krinal, aum and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted July 6, 2020 Share Posted July 6, 2020 Waiter, I am outraged. There is one hair in my soup. And what do you expect for this price? A whole wig?! ghost and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akaneharuka Posted July 6, 2020 Share Posted July 6, 2020 Karlston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mp68terr Posted July 6, 2020 Share Posted July 6, 2020 Means conceived on April Fools' Day! ghost, TrojanK, Krinal and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted July 6, 2020 Share Posted July 6, 2020 Joe said, "Know what, Charlie? I killed 5 flies yesterday, 3 males and 2 females." "How could you tell them apart, Joe? asked Charlie. "Joe replied, "It was easy. The 3 males were sitting ono a case of beer, and the 2 females were on the phone." Karlston and ghost 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted July 6, 2020 Share Posted July 6, 2020 It was the middle of the night. Suddenly there was a loud rapping on the doctor’s door, followed by a groan. The doctor angrily thrust his head out of the window. “WELL?” he shouted. “No,” moaned the man. “Sick.” Karlston and haris_sane69 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted July 6, 2020 Share Posted July 6, 2020 Doctor: Your test results are showing you'll easily live to be 80. Patient: But, wait, I am 80 just now. Doctor: See, I told you to live healthier! Karlston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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