kn_andre Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 MathematicsTeacher: if you had one dollar and asked your Uncle for one more dollar, how much would you have in total?Student: One dollar.Teacher: You don't know your Maths .... :angry: :angry: :angry:Student: You don't know my Uncle !!!! :s :s :s Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NOP-X4 Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 Posted in wrong thread :o , Should be posted in Amazing Photo of The Day as this is not a joke. :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kn_andre Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 Breaking into Another Man's Paradise Son : Daddy, what is in between Mummy's Legs? :huh: :huh: :huh: Father : Oh my Son ... Its Paradise.... :) :) :) Son : And Daddy what's between your Legs? :unsure: :unsure: Father : The key. :D :D :D Son : Oh ... Then i Strongly suggest you should change the Lock, because our neighbour has a Spare Key . And he has been using his Key to Enter into Mummy's Paradise whenever you are Not At Home !!! :( :( :( :s :s :s :s :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyon275 Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 :lol: :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STEEL Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 F :rolleyes: :rofl: ck-me Over, between the Cat and the Dog :lol: :lol: :lol: :moon: :moon: :moon: :lmao: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnse7en Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
implague Posted July 1, 2013 Share Posted July 1, 2013 Damned Egg An African man and Englishman lived next door to each other. The African owned a hen and each morning he would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Englishman's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Englishman pick up the egg. The African man ran up to the Englishman and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Englishman disagreed because the egg was laid on his property. They argued for a while until finally the African man said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the testicles and time how long it takes for you to get back up. Then you kick me in the testicles and time how long it takes for me to get up. Whoever gets up quicker wins the egg." The Englishman agreed to this and so the African man put on the heaviest pair of boots he could find. He took a few steps back, then ran toward the Englishman and kicked him as hard as he could in the testicles. The Englishman fell to the floor clutching his groin, howling in agony for 30 minutes. Eventually the Englishman stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you." The African man smiled and said, "You can keep the damn egg!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quartzdoll Posted July 1, 2013 Share Posted July 1, 2013 A major wanted to know how strong his soldiers are. he ordered them to stand naked in aline in 5 degrees celsius cold atmosphere before a naked young girl.he started cutting those soldiers dicks which arose and throwing in to a bucket. last soldier laughing vigorously. major asked why he laughing.soldier said "sir assume if you drop her pussy into that bucket, how those dicks fight to own it." :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyon275 Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 :D :lol: :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnse7en Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 :D :lol: :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quartzdoll Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 A young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "Darling, I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today,but we until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."The next day, a guy from the electric company rings the doorbell,because the young couple haven't paid their last bill: "Are you Mrs.Smith? You're a month overdue, you know! "How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman. "Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the man from the electric company."What are you saying? It's in your files?????" "Absolutely."Well, let me talk to my husband about this tonight."That night, she tells her husband about the visit and he mad as a bull,rushes to the electric company offices the first thing the next morning. "What's going on here? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts. "Just calm down," says the clerk, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."PAY you? and if I refuse?" "Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut you off."And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks. "I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quartzdoll Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 The sky was darkthe moon was highall alone just her and IHer hair so softher eyes so blueI knew just what she wanted to doHer skin so softher legs so fineI ran my fingers down her spineI didn't know howbut I tried my bestto place my hand on her breastI remember my fearmy fast beating heartbut slowly she spread her legs apartAnd when she didI felt no shameas all at once the white stuff cameAt last it was finishedit's all over now,my first time.... milking a cow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quartzdoll Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 once micr0$oft sends his programmer for boot camping ..boss orders programmer to shoot at target with 10 bulletsafter programmer shoots.. the person from target yells that no bullet hit the targetthen programmer take one more bullet , put his finger infront of barrel and shootshis finger burststhen programmer yells to target " all working fine here, problem is on your side " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quartzdoll Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 A mortician was working late one night.He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must! be saved for posterity."So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home."I have to show you something you won't believe," he said to his wife, opening his briefcase."My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead?!?!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lyldz Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 :tooth: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quartzdoll Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 When Fred found out he is going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father would die, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy all the money he would get.So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.Her natural beauty took his breath away."I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, she became his stepmother! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lyldz Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 :naughty: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quartzdoll Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 My wife and me were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?""No," she answered.I then said, "Is that your final answer?""Yes," she replied.Then I said, "I'd like to phone a friend."That's the last thing I remember after waking up in Hospital. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kn_andre Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 Waow........ What a Sensual Poem ..... But is very Deep with meaning too ;) ;) ;) .... Good job @quartzdoll .... Masterful Play of words .. Cheers... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quartzdoll Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 When the Software industry had badly gone down, three giants Sun, SCO(UNIX) and Microsoft started producing condoms and named them Java-condo, CondomiX and MS-Condom respectively.A customer using Java-condo complained to Sun that the condom doesn't fit correctly.Sun replied: "Wait till we get the ISO standard". They boasted that it will fit to any size irrespective of underlying structure.Well, the customer switched to CondomiX and found that by the time he finishes reading the instructions, given along with CondomiX, his wife was sleeping and he himself forgetting why he is using CondomiX.Finally he switched to MS-Condom.To his surprise it was so good........and comfortable!. He used it happily.Six months later he found that his wife was pregnant. He got angry and complained to Microsoft.He got his reply from Microsoft:................. What do u think was Microsoft's reply...........???...................A PATCH IS COMING SOON...! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quartzdoll Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 The newly born sperm was receiving instructions in conception from the instructor."As soon as you hear the siren, run for the tunnel and swim in a straight line until you get to the entrance of a damp cavern. At the end of the cavern you will find a red, sticky ball which is the egg.Address it and say, "I'm a Sperm." She will answer, I'm the Egg." From that moment on you will work together to create the embryo. Do you understand?"The sperm nodded affirmatively and the instructor said, "Then, good luck!"Two days later, the sperm is taking a nap when he hears the siren. He wakes up immediately and runs to the tunnel.A multitude of sperm swim behind him. He knows he has to arrive first. When he nears the entrance to the cavern, he looks back and sees that he is far ahead of the other sperm.He is able to swim at a slower pace but does approachthe red, sticky ball.When, at last, he reaches the red, sticky ball, he smiles and says, "Hi, I'm a sperm."The red sticky ball smiles and says, "Hi. I'm a tonsil." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kn_andre Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 Knock Knock ...Somebody knocks on door:- Who is there?- Police?- What do you want?- We want to talk.- How many of you are there?- Two.- So talk with each other. :) :) :) :) :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quartzdoll Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 not my poem :lol:all of these jokes i collected over years and posted at other forum and bringing here now for nsaners :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlimRock Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 :boxing: !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robo Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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