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[JOTD] Joke of the day


rudrax

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  • 2 weeks later...

Bullet Bouncing

2oWwPZV.jpg

Seriously ??? So the Sharp Shooters could not find any other Target on her ??? Hmmmmmmm....... I am Not a Gambler but i will Bet that the Shooters are ....... Wait for it ....... Men !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cheers..

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https://s2.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/VUhv8SIJ_kBVqOAmhVLG1w--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7cT04NTt3PTYzMA--/http://l.yimg.com/os/publish-images/lifestyles/2015-03-27/492773b0-d497-11e4-9e67-bdd6a08390a2_tumblr_m6i83hyBjo1qferclo1_1280.png

With his blond locks and blue eyes, this baby was always going to be on photogenic little fella. But through a cuddle with a cat ON A SWING into the mix and it's off the charts cute.

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https://s2.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/VUhv8SIJ_kBVqOAmhVLG1w--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7cT04NTt3PTYzMA--/http://l.yimg.com/os/publish-images/lifestyles/2015-03-27/492773b0-d497-11e4-9e67-bdd6a08390a2_tumblr_m6i83hyBjo1qferclo1_1280.png

With his blond locks and blue eyes, this baby was always going to be on photogenic little fella. But through a cuddle with a cat ON A SWING into the mix and it's off the charts cute.

and some say animals do not have emotion....

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clasification of an alcohol in IT style

100 ml-demo version

250ml-trial version

0.5L - personal edition

0.7L - professional edition

1.0L - network edition

1.75L - enterprise

3L- for small business

5L - corporate edition

bucket of vodka-extreme edition

bottle of hootch-home edition

one for the road-service pack

brine next morning-recovery tool

beer-patch

coca-cola, fanta, 7-UP - trojan viruses

:cheers:

Edited by gipsy
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  • 4 weeks later...

A Boss and his fcuked up Birthday

I woke up in the morning and it's my birthday today. I was expecting wishes from my family. But no one wished me. I went to the office and my staff also didn't show any interest to wish me. I was so disgusted and entered in my cabin. There was my secretary who surprisingly hugged and wished me. I was very pleased. Then she invited me to her flat for the night and told me that she will take away all my loneliness and make me feel very happy. Oh damn, I was getting so excited and can't wait till night.

It's night and I was at her flat. She came and told me, "Get yourself ready. I'm coming from my bedroom in a bit. HMOG, my excitement was in the peak.

Few moments later, she came with my family, staff and all the friends...

...and I was sitting naked in the couch mounting a c0nd0m :rofl:

Moral: Men will be men.

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BOSS to an employee: "Do you believe in life after

Death?"

EMPLOYEE: "Certainlynot! There's no proof of it",

he replied.

BOSS: "Well, there isnow. After you left early

yesterday to go to your uncle's funeral, he came

here looking for you."

A student called up his physics professor.

Hiswife picked up the phone and said "he died

last week"..

Next day student called again..

She againpicked up and said "I told u, he died

last week"..

He called the third time..

Wife said he died..

why do you keep on calling again and again??"..

Student: "It's pleasant to hear "..

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A priest and a nun are on their way back from the seminary when their car breaks down.
The garage doesn't open until morning so they have to spend the night in a B&B. It only has one room available.
The priest says: "Sister, I don't think the Lord would object if we spend the night sharing this one room. I'll sleep on the sofa and you have the bed."
"I think that would be fine," agrees the nun. They prepare for bed, say some prayers and settle down to sleep.
Ten minutes pass, and the nun says: "Father, I'm very cold."
"OK," says the priest, "I'll get a blanket from the cupboard."
Another ten minutes pass and the nun says again: "Father, I'm still terribly cold."
The priest says: "Don't worry, I'll get up and fetch you another blanket."
Another ten minutes pass, then the nun murmurs softly: "Father I'm still very cold. I don't think the Lord would mind if we acted as man and wife just for a night."
"You're right," says the priest. "Get your own fucking blankets and while you're at it i'll have a cup of tea"

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A man walks into a pet shop and asks the employee for 50 white mice and 35 brown ones. Being curious the employee inquires about the strange demand.

The man responds, " I'm moving soon and its written in my lease that I have to leave the apartment as I found it"...

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  • 2 weeks later...

basic_weapons_will_do_fine.jpg
basic weapons will do fine

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  • 3 weeks later...

One day the Pope gathered all his cardinals and announced that from now on the papacy would be passed on from generation to generation instead of being settled by an election.

The pope would marry and have children. But the woman in question would have to meet certain prerequisites.

"First", the Pope said, "she will have to be blind"

"Why should that be?" the cardinals asked.

"She must not know she is sleeping with the Holy Father" answered the pope.

"Secondly, she must be deaf" the pope continued.

"And why is that?" enquired the cardinals.

"She must not hear the Pontiff in the midst of his orgasm" stated the pope.

"And last but not least, she must have big breasts!" the pope added.

"And the reason for that is?" the cardinals intoned in unison.

"Well, I just like big knockers that's all"...

Edited by lurch234
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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...

A little girl is riding along the highway with her mom.


When suddenly a dildo falls of the truck in front of them and hits the windshield


The little girl asks: Mommy, what was that?


The mom, not wanting her little girl to know about sex yet, answers: It was just a bug honey.


The little girl sits quitely for a while, before exclaiming: It sure had a big dick.


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A blind man enters a bar and find his way to a barstool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”


The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I’m a 6′ tall, 200 pound blonde with a black belt in karate. What’s more, the fella sitting next to me is blonde and he’s a weightlifter. The woman to your right is a blonde, and she’s a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, mister. You still wanna tell that blonde joke?”


The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”


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