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[JOTD] Joke of the day


rudrax

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knowledge-Spammer

racist girl owned at the end

Edited by knowledge
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PRICELESS!

Jack wakes up with a
huge hangover
after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is
not normally a drinker,
but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He
didn't even remember how he
got home from the party. As bad as he was
feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first
thing he sees is a
couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side
table and, next to
them, a single red rose!! Jack sits up and sees his clothing
in front of him,
all clean and pressed. He looks around the room
and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly
clean.

So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins,
cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him

in the bathroom mirror.

Then he notices a note
hanging on the
corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it
and a kiss mark
from his wife in lipstick:

“Honey,
breakfast is on the stove,

I left early to get groceries to make
you your favorite dinner tonight.

I love you, darling!

Love, Jillian"

He stumbles to the
kitchen and sure
enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the
morning newspaper. His 16 year
old son is also at the table, eating.
Jack
asks, "Son... What happened last
night?"

“Well, you came
home after 3 a.m.,

drunk and out of your mind You fell over the coffee
table and broke it,
and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye
when you ran into the
door."

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in
such perfect order
and so clean? I have a rose, and
breakfast is on the table waiting for
me??"

His son replies,
Oh THAT... Mom
dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your
pants off, you
screamed....

“Leave
me alone, I'm married!!"


Broken Coffee Table $239.99

Hot Breakfast $4.20

Two Aspirins $.38

Saying the right thing, at the right
time.

PRICELESS!!!!!

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knowledge-Spammer

This kid tries to sell drugs to a cop. It turns out the kid is a magician and the cop gets mindf*cked

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At the end of the human biology class, the lecturer conducted a quick question and answer session to check that everyone had been listening to his lesson.

“You over there, the girl in red”, he said pointing, “which part of the body becomes 10 times its normal size under emotional stress?”

Flushed with embarrassment, the girl refused to answer, so another student volunteered.

“The pupil of the eye, Sir.”

“Correct,” replied the lecturer and he turned to the girl, saying: “Young lady, your refusal to answer my question indicates three things:

1- You haven’t been listening to my lecture;

2- You are obsessed with sex;

3- You are going to be very disappointed.

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and for todays joke of the day please read my signature. :wtf:


fucked_boyfriend.jpg


Edited by 2635599
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