ducky88 Posted December 19, 2020 Share Posted December 19, 2020 What’s the difference between snowmen and snowladies? Snowballs. TrojanK, Krinal and scarabou 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted December 19, 2020 Share Posted December 19, 2020 A man and a woman are sleeping together when suddenly there is a noise in the house, and the woman rolls over and says, "It's my husband, you have to leave!" The man jumps out of bed, jumps through the window, crawls through the bushes, and out on the street, when he realizes something. He goes back to the house and says to the woman, "Wait, I'm your husband!" She replies giving him a dirty look, "So why did you run?" flash13, funkyy, Krinal and 1 other 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flash13 Posted December 19, 2020 Share Posted December 19, 2020 ducky88, Krinal, Karlston and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted December 19, 2020 Share Posted December 19, 2020 Lady: My husband just swallowed an Aspirin by mistake, what shall I do? Dr: "Give him a headache now, why waste medicine !" Karlston, funkyy, ducky88 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted December 19, 2020 Share Posted December 19, 2020 Writer: Did you like my novel? Publisher: I really liked the last two words. Writer: (very excitedly) And which are those? Publisher: 'The End' funkyy, scarabou, Karlston and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 19, 2020 Share Posted December 19, 2020 When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party. Now I'm homeless. TrojanK, funkyy, Karlston and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 19, 2020 Share Posted December 19, 2020 Summer vacation was over and the teacher asked Little Johnny about his family trip. "We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota." The teacher asked, "Good, can you tell the class how you spell that?" Little Johnny thought for a few seconds and said, "Actually, we went to Ohio." Karlston, funkyy, ducky88 and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted December 19, 2020 Share Posted December 19, 2020 funkyy, Krinal, TrojanK and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 19, 2020 Share Posted December 19, 2020 I got drunk at a bar one night during a recent trip to Germany. When I woke up I was in Hanover. Karlston, funkyy, Krinal and 2 others 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 Doctor : Your Liver is enlarged Patient : Does that mean it has space for more beer? > This is called... Positive Thinking... ducky88, funkyy and Karlston 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarabou Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 (edited) Edited December 20, 2020 by scarabou ducky88, funkyy and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 It’s been raining for days now and my husband seems very depressed by it... He keeps standing by the window, staring. If it continues, I’m going to have to let him in. Karlston, ducky88, funkyy and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.” ducky88, funkyy, Karlston and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 flash13, ducky88, funkyy and 1 other 2 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abacaxi Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 (edited) Recommendation :- " Problems Sleeping ? - Cut the legs of your bed. You`ll sleep deeper " Edited December 20, 2020 by Abacaxi ducky88, scarabou, funkyy and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted December 21, 2020 Share Posted December 21, 2020 Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish." Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer." scarabou and funkyy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarabou Posted December 21, 2020 Share Posted December 21, 2020 funkyy, Karlston and ducky88 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 21, 2020 Share Posted December 21, 2020 How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate. "Terrible!" the room-mate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce." "Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?" "He was the original owner." Karlston, ducky88, funkyy and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akaneharuka Posted December 21, 2020 Share Posted December 21, 2020 Karlston, ducky88, scarabou and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted December 21, 2020 Share Posted December 21, 2020 scarabou, funkyy and ducky88 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 22, 2020 Share Posted December 22, 2020 (edited) A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago: "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. "But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake." Edited December 22, 2020 by aum TrojanK, dow_destiny, ducky88 and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 22, 2020 Share Posted December 22, 2020 Before crowbars were invented... ...most crows drank at home by themselves. funkyy, ducky88, TrojanK and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted December 22, 2020 Share Posted December 22, 2020 Q: What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? A: He wiped his bum. TrojanK 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akaneharuka Posted December 22, 2020 Share Posted December 22, 2020 scarabou, ducky88, TrojanK and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vitorio Posted December 22, 2020 Share Posted December 22, 2020 19 hours ago, Karlston said: How sad is loneniless! Karlston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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