Popular Post Karlston Posted December 7, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted December 7, 2020 My neighbour was banging on my door at 3AM. Spoiler Luckily I was up playing the drums at the time. funkyy, ducky88, Aeracier and 4 others 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted December 7, 2020 Share Posted December 7, 2020 Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?" In a condescending manner, she says, "Which Barbie?" She continues, "We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00." Ralph asks, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others are only $19.95?" "That's obvious," the saleslady says. "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture..." funkyy, scarabou, Karlston and 3 others 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 8, 2020 Share Posted December 8, 2020 What is a committee? A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. august_rain, Karlston, ducky88 and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 8, 2020 Share Posted December 8, 2020 A couple met at Myrtle Beach and fell in love. They were discussing how they would continue their relationship after their vacations were over. "It's only fair to warn you, Linda," he said. "I'm a golf nut. I live...eat...sleep...and breathe golf." "Well,..." Linda said, "Since you're being honest, so will I. You see, I'm a hooker." "I see," he said pensively. Then, he smiled and said..."It's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball." scarabou, Karlston, funkyy and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted December 8, 2020 Share Posted December 8, 2020 The seven dwarves have been told that due to COVID, they can only meet in groups of six. Spoiler Apparently one is not happy. Krinal, funkyy, aum and 2 others 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted December 9, 2020 Share Posted December 9, 2020 Interviewer: What is a skeleton? Santa: Sir, skeleton is a person who started dieting, but forgot to stop it!! Karlston, funkyy, phen0men4 and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted December 9, 2020 Share Posted December 9, 2020 A country wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With superhuman strength, borne of fury, and cutting firewood, lifting sacks of feed, and bales of hay, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door, and into the barn. She put his manhood in a vice, secured it tightly, and removed the handle. Next, she picked up an old carpenter's saw. The banged up cheater was terrified and hollered, "Stop! Stop! You're not gonna cut it off with that rusty saw, are you?" The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, put the saw in her husband's hand and said, "Nope. You are! I'm gonna burn down the barn!" scarabou, august_rain, Krinal and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Krinal Posted December 10, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted December 10, 2020 Santa : I have more Fans than You.. Banta: No Big deal, I have AC at Home. scarabou, phen0men4, aum and 5 others 1 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akaneharuka Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 2 sec before disaster ducky88, TrojanK, Karlston and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarabou Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 Krinal and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 I was reading a list of “100 things to do before you die”. Spoiler Why isn’t “yell for help” on the list? TrojanK, august_rain, Krinal and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted December 11, 2020 Share Posted December 11, 2020 A chicken and an egg are having sex. The chicken rolls off the egg and says, "I guess that answers that question." funkyy, scarabou and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted December 11, 2020 Share Posted December 11, 2020 A guy was drinking his beer in the local bar, as usual, when suddenly a pirate enters the bar. It was a real pirate, with a wooden leg, an eye pad (not iPad), and a hook replacing his right hand. "Wow, a real pirate!" thought the guy, and he went to the pirate to ask some questions. - How comes you have a wooden leg? * Well, a still remember it very well. It was 30 years ago, and we were fighting with cannons and stuff. A cannon ball blew off my leg, so I put on a wooden one. - Oh, cool. And what about the hook? * I still remember that one pretty well too. It must be 25 years ago. We entered a ship and were fighting with sabers. I was distracted for only a split second, but that was enough for my opponent to slash my hand off. It's hard to live with only 1 hand, so I put on a hook. - That's pretty cool too! What about the eye pad. * I've had the hook for only 5 minutes and my eye was itching. august_rain, scarabou, funkyy and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted December 11, 2020 Share Posted December 11, 2020 august_rain, ducky88, scarabou and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted December 12, 2020 Share Posted December 12, 2020 Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent! scarabou, Karlston, Krinal and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Krinal Posted December 12, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted December 12, 2020 ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?' ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! Karlston, ducky88, aum and 4 others 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 12, 2020 Share Posted December 12, 2020 What does consensus mean? Consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one will say individually. funkyy, scarabou, Krinal and 3 others 2 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted December 12, 2020 Share Posted December 12, 2020 Krinal, scarabou, funkyy and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted December 12, 2020 Share Posted December 12, 2020 Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit. scarabou, aum, funkyy and 3 others 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funkyy Posted December 12, 2020 Share Posted December 12, 2020 Did you hear about the deaf pirate captain?... He had no buccaneers. Karlston, aum, Krinal and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted December 13, 2020 Share Posted December 13, 2020 Manager asked Santa at an interview. Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it? Santa replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X funkyy, Karlston, scarabou and 2 others 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted December 13, 2020 Share Posted December 13, 2020 An Amish husband, wife and son travel to the city on vacation. They visit a shopping mall and while the mother is shopping, the father and son are standing in awe in front of an elevator (having no idea what it is). As they watch, an elderly lady walks into the strange silver doors and the doors close. The father and son watch as the numbers go up, and then back down. When the doors open, a beautiful young woman walks out. The father leans over and whispers to the son, "Son, go get your mother!" scarabou, aum, Karlston and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post aum Posted December 13, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted December 13, 2020 In Kent a business man was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Essex and I need some help. If I were to give you £20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings!" funkyy, TrojanK, ducky88 and 4 others 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted December 13, 2020 Share Posted December 13, 2020 august_rain, funkyy, scarabou and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 14, 2020 Share Posted December 14, 2020 You know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles. ducky88, scarabou, Karlston and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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