SlimRock Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Epic comments!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlimRock Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Some birds never fly away Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlimRock Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Troll sperm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlimRock Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 I want a tank! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlimRock Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 A man, returning home a day early from a business trip, got into a taxi at the airport. It was after midnight. While enroute to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspected his wife was having an affair and he intended to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agreed.Quietly arriving at the house, the husband and cabby tiptoed into the bedroom. The husband switched on the lights, yanked the blanket back and there was his wife in bed with another man.The husband put a gun to the naked man's head. The wife shouted, "Don't do it! This man has been very generous! I lied when I told you I inherited money. He paid for the Corvette I bought for you. He paid for our new cabin cruiser. He paid for your season Green Bay Packer Tickets. He paid for our house at the lake. He paid for our country club membership, and he even pays the monthly dues!"Shaking his head from side-to-side the husband slowly lowered the gun. He looked over at the cab driver and said, "What would you do?" The cabby said, "I'd cover his ass up with that blanket before he catches a cold." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlimRock Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KamenRiderBlack Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KamenRiderBlack Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KamenRiderBlack Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KamenRiderBlack Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KamenRiderBlack Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 GRANDPA: "Go hide, your teacher is here because you skipped school today!"ME: "YOU go hide. I told her you were DEAD!""*****************************************************************************************************A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.""What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine.""What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before.""Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now.""Well, ok, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?" "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and gotinto a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really.""What about that eye patch?" "Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them shit in my eye" "You're kidding," said the bartender, "you couldn't lose an eye just from some bird shit.""It was my first day with the hook.*****************************************************************************************************************************A little girl says, "Daddy, I wish I had a little sister."Trying to be funny, the daddy says, "Honey, you do have a sister.""I do?" questions the confused youngster."Sure," responds the dad. "You just don't see her because when you are coming in the front door, she is always leaving through the back door."The little girl gave this a few moments thought and remarked,"You mean like my other Daddy does?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudrax Posted October 6, 2013 Author Share Posted October 6, 2013 Boy to doctor: my gf is pregnant but I used precausion.Doctor: let me tell you a story.One day a hunter went to hunt a Lion. When the lion was in front of him, he suddenly realised that he had forget to bring the gun. Then the hunter pointed his fingers towards the lion as if he is firing shot on the lion and said, 'boom'. The lion was dead.Boy: bullsh!t. Someone else must have fired the shot!Doctor: EXACTLY! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyon275 Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 :lol: :wtf: :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudrax Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 Holy Mother! :omg: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STEEL Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 A nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?"First a little girl says, "The sky is definitely blue." The teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can sometimes be gray, or black."A second little boy says,"Trees are definitely green.""Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown."Then little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks, "Does a fart have lumps?"The teacher looks horrified and says, /?"Of course not Johnny!!!! "Johnny - OK/...then I DEFINITELY shat my pants!" :rofl: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STEEL Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 (edited) What did one gay sperm say to the other?How do we get out of this :shit: ?Why are men like laxatives?They can irritate the shit out of you.One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit shit. One of the boys said: "What is that?""'They're smart pills," said the other boy "Eat them and they'll make you smarter."So he ate them and said: "These taste like shit.""See," said the other boy, "you're already getting smarter."Politicians are like diapers.They should be changed frequently ... and for the same reasonPete and Mary were walking home from the pub when Mary says: "I need a piss" an goes behind a bush and drops her knickers.Feeling horny, Pete puts his hand through the bush and feels something dangling between Mary's legs. He says "have you changed sex?"Mary says "no, I have changed my mind, I am having a :shit: !" :rofl: Edited October 7, 2013 by STEEL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kn_andre Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 Epic comments!! LoL ..... Come on Guys .... Are these girls not cute enough ??? Why are those guys making comments acting as if they don't even see them ???? Typical ........... Don't worry Gurls, your both Hot and Sexy ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hobbykiosk Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlimRock Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KamenRiderBlack Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KamenRiderBlack Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KamenRiderBlack Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KamenRiderBlack Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 (edited) A Colonel and a Major ***A Colonel and a Major are in the BOQ arguing. The Colonel says sex is 90% work and only 10% pleasure.The Major argues the opposite: 90% pleasure and 10% work. They can't agree, so seek a 3rd party to arbitrate.The only person around is a Private doing latrine orderly duty. They ask him his opinion.He asks them if he could speak freely, and they tell him to go ahead. He answers, "Well, if you really ask my opinion, I'd say it's all pleasure, for if there was any work connected with it, you SOB's would have me doing it"!****************************************************************************************************************************************************Marriage Jokes1. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.2. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defence.3. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."4. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.5. Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "RINGS" :- The Engagement Ring- The Wedding Ring- The Suffer-Ring- The Endue-Ring6. Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.7. Married men live longer than single men, but married men are more willing to die!8. When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.9. I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"10. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he does'nt. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.11. Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence - a life sentence12. A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.13. The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"14. If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry. - Chekhov15. I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. -Sam Kinison16. A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free.17. Ram: "My wife has the worst memory".Shyam: "Does she forget everything?"Ram: "No, She remembers everything".18. Love is cuddling on a sofa.Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.19. Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere! Edited October 8, 2013 by KamenRiderBlack Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guinness Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 3. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it." :clap: :rofl: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eqagunn Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 Every man with a driving licence knows that traffic lights are superior to traffic signs.This traffic sign is to be followed only if traffic lights are off.My job here is done, cpt. Obvious flying away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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