Karlston Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 leapinlizards, kyber, ghost and 1 other 1 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted May 16, 2020 Share Posted May 16, 2020 An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout, "PRAISE THE LORD!" Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations that he would shout, "There ain't no Lord!" Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for God to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD! God, I need food. I am having a hard time. Please, Lord, send me some groceries." The next morning, the lady went out on her porch and noted a large bag of groceries and shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD!" The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, "HA...HA. I told you there was no Lord! I bought those groceries, myself! God didn't!" The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and saying, "PRAISE THE LORD! He not only sent me groceries, but He made the Devil pay for them! PRAISE THE LORD!" leapinlizards, ghost, Karlston and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted May 16, 2020 Share Posted May 16, 2020 DLord and TrojanK 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dce3480 Posted May 16, 2020 Share Posted May 16, 2020 haha funny not knee slapper Karlston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted May 17, 2020 Share Posted May 17, 2020 Me: My sister graduated from college. I wish you could have been there. She wore a cap and nightgown. Bob: A nightgown? Me: Yeah. She went to night school. flash13 and Karlston 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dce3480 Posted May 17, 2020 Share Posted May 17, 2020 U.S.A Funny not Middle East Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted May 17, 2020 Share Posted May 17, 2020 kyber and ghost 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dce3480 Posted May 17, 2020 Share Posted May 17, 2020 What's ❤️ Got to do With Information Technology Mrs Demi Moore Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akaneharuka Posted May 18, 2020 Share Posted May 18, 2020 Karlston and aum 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted May 18, 2020 Share Posted May 18, 2020 An exhausted hunter out in the wilds stumbled into a camp. "Am I glad to see you!" he said. "I've been lost for three days." "Don't get too excited, friend," the other hunter replied. "I've been lost for three weeks." Karlston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dce3480 Posted May 18, 2020 Share Posted May 18, 2020 Wait a Second Karlston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted May 18, 2020 Share Posted May 18, 2020 ghost 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 TrojanK and jbleck 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dce3480 Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 Laugh @WiLL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Native American. "What is it made of?" she asked. "Alligator's teeth," the man replied. "I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us." "Oh no," he objected. "Anybody can open an oyster." Karlston and ghost 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 “What is another name for Korean cuisine? Seoul food.” Karlston and ghost 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandman117 Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 (edited) 16 hours ago, aum said: “What is another name for Korean cuisine? Seoul food.” It really is the dog's bollocks Edited May 22, 2020 by sandman117 Karlston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted May 22, 2020 Share Posted May 22, 2020 A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her aride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a' so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station,yelled one final 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' and rode off. 'What did you do to get that Indian so excited?' asked the service-station attendant. 'Nothing,' the woman answered. 'I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off.' 'Lady,' the attendant said, 'Indians don't use saddles. TrojanK and Karlston 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted May 22, 2020 Share Posted May 22, 2020 The two partners in a law firm were having lunch when suddenly one of them jumped up and said, "I have to go back to the office - I forgot to lock the safe!" The other partner replied, "What are you worried about? We're both here." Karlston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted May 22, 2020 Share Posted May 22, 2020 Adenman, Akaneharuka, jbleck and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PLASMA Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 Sun Block....☣️ Adenman, TrojanK, ultrahub and 2 others 1 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abacaxi Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 (edited) If you had to decide between a diet and a piece of chocolate, would you prefer dark, white or milk chocolate? ============================================================================== It is important to make breaks between individual exercises. I personally stick to breaks of about 3-4 years. Edited May 23, 2020 by Abacaxi Archimede, Karlston and ultrahub 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 (edited) A rather awkward freshman finally got up the nerve to ask a pretty junior for a dance at the homecoming. She gave him the once-over and said, "Sorry, I won't dance with a child." "Oh I'm sorry," responded the underclassman, "I didn't realize you were pregnant." Edited May 23, 2020 by aum TrojanK and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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