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[JOTD] Joke of the day


rudrax

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As a little boy climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"

 

The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped, "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
 

 

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On a hot, dusty day a cowboy rode into a small frontier town. Afterdismounting, he walked behind his horse, lifted it's tail and kissed it wherethe sun don't shine. An old man rocking by the general store witnessed thewhole thing.


"Whudd'ya do that fer?" he asked.


"Got chapped lips," the cowboy replied.

 


The old man asked, "Does that help?"


The cowboy said, "Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' 'em."
 

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Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music.


The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup size, speaker size, and storage capacity.


This is considered a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about
men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
 

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Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands.... When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset.

"You're running around with other women," she told her mate.

"Eve, honey, you're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You know you're the only woman on earth."

The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by a strange pain in the chest. It was his darling Eve poking him rather vigorously about the torso.

"What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded.

"Counting your ribs," said Eve.
 

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A policeman sends his wife and kid to a resort for a vacation. After a week he joined them in the hotel. As soon as he came to the hotel room he wanted to make love to his wife and gave her "the look".


Whispering under her breath, the wife says, "No darling, we can't do it here, our kid is watching!"


Husband replies, "You're right, lets go to the beach."


After a while they make their way to the beach, they start to make love on an empty beach. All of a sudden, a policeman walks up to them. "Put your cloths on immediately, shame on you, you can't do that in public!"


Embarrassed, the husband admits, "You are right, but I had a moment of weakness. We hadn't seen each other for an entire week. Now, I'm a policeman too, and it would be very embarrassing if you fine me."


The cop thought for a second and said, "Don't worry... you are a colleague and it is your first time. But this is the third time I caught this b**** making love on this beach in the last week and she will have to pay."



 

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Polly want a cracker...

 

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"My ancestry goes back all the way to Alexander the Great," said Christine. She then turned to Miriam and asked, "How far back does your family go?"


"I don't know," replied Miriam, "all of our records were lost in the flood."
 

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