jofre Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 (edited) Holiday blonde A blonde came to the hotel and as it was very hot, opened the window. Only began to enter various mosquitoes. Then she called the reception and complained:- Good evening, I'm too hot and with the window open several mosquitoes came in my room and are bothering me.- If the Lady turn off the lights of your room, they will go away, said her receptionistShe did what he said and they really went away. After a while, they began to enter a number of fireflies, and then she has to call the front desk to complain. And the receptionist asked:- But what now? She replies:- It did not solve the problem ! Mosquitoes came back with flashlights! Edited September 16, 2015 by jofre Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudrax Posted September 16, 2015 Author Share Posted September 16, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jofre Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 (edited) Missing women in the HypermarketIn the hypermarket, two men clash with the respective shopping carts.Both apologize and one of them asks:- What`s up ?- Distract me looking for my wife.- What a coincidence, me too.- How's yours?- Blonde, tall, blue eyes, shapely legs, protruding breasts and full lips. And yours?- Fuck mine, let's find yours! Edited September 16, 2015 by jofre Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jofre Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 (edited) Two Friends In A Bar :-Two friends are in a bar. One of them is with a black eye.- What has happened to you ...? - Asks the other.- I took with a frozen chicken in the face, that's all! - Replies the friend.- A chicken…? But how did it happen that ...?- Is that yesterday my wife was mini skirt and ducked into the freezer to grab at something. I was behind her and did not resist, grabbed her from behind, right there ... !!!- Oh really…?- Of course! And she did not want, fidgeted and I got more comfortable still, she started screaming and I was still more glaze ...- Cum!- She struggled like crazy and I increasingly strangled ...- I'm just imagine the scene! - Says the other excitedly.- And then she managed to pick up a frozen chicken and stuck with the someone in my nostrils ...!- But what a strange thing! Your wife does not like sex ...?- At home, delirious! In SUPERMARKET is not ... !!! Edited September 16, 2015 by jofre Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jofre Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 (edited) Panic on board during the flight :-On an international flight, as usual, the captain of the aircraft connects the microphone and tells the passengers:- "Good morning, dear passengers, at this very moment we are 9000 meters of altitude, cruise speed of 860 Km / hour and we are flying over the city of ... AAAAAAAHHHH. MY GOD...!"Passengers heard an infernal noise, followed by a fearful cry:- "NOOOOOOO ...!"After a deathly silence around, the turn on the microphone and sheepishly says:- "I'm so sorry, but bumped into the tray and a cup of coffee dropped me on his lap. Imagine how there were my pants in front!"Promptly, one of the passengers shouted:- "Son of a b ...! Imagine how my pants back are...! " Edited September 16, 2015 by jofre Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jofre Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 (edited) Blond tries to get in to the Police :-A "blonde" is a candidate for the post of deputy assistant:The chief question in the interview:- How much is 1 + 1?Eleven says the blonde.And the delegate follows the interview ...- What are the two months beginning with M?Month and last month.Angered by the reasoning of the blonde, the officer issues a challenge:- Who killed John Lennon?And the blonde:- Do not know!Well, go home and try to find out! - Says the deputy.Arriving home, the mother of the blond question:- How was there at the interview, my daughter?The blonde replies:- The interview was great! First day of work and already investigating a murder! Edited September 19, 2015 by jofre Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jofre Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 The DRUNK AND THE LECTURE :-A drunk is approached at 3 am by the police:The policeman asks:- Where do you go in this state, at this hour?The drunk replies:- I go to a lecture about alcohol abuse and its lethal effects to the body, the bad example, the disastrous consequences for the family, and the problem that causes the family economy and the absolute irresponsibility.The police look in disbelief and say?- Seriously? And who will be speaking at this hour of the morning?- And who might that be? ... My wife ... as soon as I get home ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudrax Posted September 17, 2015 Author Share Posted September 17, 2015 (edited) Edited September 17, 2015 by rudrax Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jordan Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 (edited) Meet Adolf, the adorable puppy! the beautiful and the little beast Edited September 18, 2015 by jordan4x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jofre Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 (edited) A Great Machine :A couple is in the street, both back home and says the husband: --So Dear, what about the car? It`s a great machine, right ?.She says: - Look, I have two news for you ! A good and a bad one...- AI, Ai, Ai !... Then begin with the good news ...- The good news is that the airbag works ...! Edited September 23, 2015 by jofre Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jofre Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 The smart Little Johnny A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!"After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said:- "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"- "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jofre Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 (edited) Interview for a jobWhile taking the interview the Employer asked the candidate:-- How long did you work during last job ?Candidate : 30 years.- What`s your age ?Candidate : 20 years- The employer was surprised and asked the candidate :- How is it possible that you are 20 and have experience of 30 years ?Candidate : Overtime ! Edited September 24, 2015 by jofre Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudrax Posted September 26, 2015 Author Share Posted September 26, 2015 (edited) Toothless celebs? Edited September 26, 2015 by rudrax Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudrax Posted September 26, 2015 Author Share Posted September 26, 2015 Looking at them I can only say - Pa Pa Pa Pa Pa Pa..... :rofl:...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gipsy Posted September 26, 2015 Share Posted September 26, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudrax Posted October 8, 2015 Author Share Posted October 8, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeeSmithG Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 If a Gull flies over a bay rather than the sea, you call the bird a what?bagel.....zingooooooo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudrax Posted October 9, 2015 Author Share Posted October 9, 2015 Funniest orgasm faces ever made :tehe: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamesDDI Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jofre Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 (edited) Smart PETER on a flight to New YorkPeter, on a business trip, Portuguese, away from family ... free like a bird. 40 years old, executive, sits in a chair of the plane to New York, with a beautiful blonde girl near window of the plane . After 15 minutes of flight he does not resist and asks :-- Is this the 1st time you to New York?- No, it is a common journey.- Works with fashion?- No, I travel according to my research. I am sexologist.- ...and your research is dedicated to what?- Right now, I research the characteristics of the male penis !.- ...and conclusion reached?- That the Indians are the penis carriers with the most well-endowed dimensions and the Arabs are the ones who stay longer in intercourse. So are they who provide more pleasure to their partner.Excuse me Sir, I'm here talking and talking, but do not even know your name ?!- My name ? --» Muhammade Ali White Eagle Edited October 10, 2015 by jofre Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudrax Posted October 10, 2015 Author Share Posted October 10, 2015 Innovative watch face Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudrax Posted October 10, 2015 Author Share Posted October 10, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamesDDI Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 ahahahahah XD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeeSmithG Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 (edited) I would like to give her a good seeing to. Her fifteen (15) seconds of pleasure, x twenty (20) would be good. She is paying :thumbsup: Edited October 12, 2015 by LeeSmithG Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamesDDI Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 I would like to give her a good seeing to.Her fifteen (15) seconds of pleasure, x twenty (20) would be good.She is paying :thumbsup: :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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