Karlston Posted July 6, 2020 Share Posted July 6, 2020 flash13, Krinal, haris_sane69 and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted July 7, 2020 Share Posted July 7, 2020 You said everything would be back to normal after June! Ju-Lyed! ghost, kyber and Karlston 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted July 7, 2020 Share Posted July 7, 2020 A young lawyer, starting up his private practice, was very anxious to impress potential clients. When he saw the first visitor to his office come through the door, he immediately picked up his phone and spoke into it," I'm sorry, but my caseload is so tremendous that I'm not going to be able to look into your problem for at least a month. I'll have to get back to you then." He then turned to the man who had just walked in, and said, "Now, what can I do for you?" "Nothing," replied the man. "I'm here to hook up your phone." ghost, kyber, TrojanK and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted July 7, 2020 Share Posted July 7, 2020 ghost, kyber, aum and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 Q : What’s the one thing snipers can’t tell their wives? A : I missed you this morning. lurch234 and ghost 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 He who drinks a fifth on the fourth... May not be able to go forth on the fifth! ghost and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 The teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just has a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that. The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rosebuds show!" and out she goes. The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die. She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate. "Loosen up, sweetie. If you can show off your rosebuds, then I can display my hanging baskets." kyber, jbleck, ghost and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 kyber and ghost 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 "So let me get this straight," the prosecutor says to the defendant, "you came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man." "That's correct," says the defendant. "Upon which," continues the prosecutor, "you take out a pistol and shoot your wife, killing her." "That's correct," says the defendant. "Then my question to you is, why did you shoot your wife and not her lover?" asked the prosecutor. The defendant replies, "It was easier than having to shoot a different man everyday!" TrojanK, ghost and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order Chicken Surprise. The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down. "Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband. He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down. Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation. "Please sir," says the waiter, "what you order?" The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise." "Ahh so sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck." ghost, kyber, leapinlizards and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 Teacher: Did your father help your with your homework? Student: No, he did it all by himself. ghost, Karlston, kyber and 1 other 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 HR: "This is your revised salary. We recommend you keep it confidential." Employee: "Don't worry, I'm equally ashamed of it." kyber, Karlston, ghost and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 TrojanK, kyber, Krinal and 1 other 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 "Honey, why did you build the child's bed so high?" "We can hear it better if he falls out." TrojanK, ghost, kyber and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 Doctor: What seems to be the trouble? Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can hear what I say. Doctor: What seems to be the trouble? ghost, Krinal and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 My horoscope said I was going to get my heart broken in 12 years time... So I bought a puppy to cheer me up. TrojanK 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 “Flight attendants never die, they just take off.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Karlston Posted July 10, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted July 10, 2020 flash13, kyber, leapinlizards and 4 others 1 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted July 11, 2020 Share Posted July 11, 2020 Wife: Why do you wear your specs only when I come in. Husband: The doctor has ordered me to wear my specs whenever I get an headache. aum, Karlston and kyber 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted July 11, 2020 Share Posted July 11, 2020 Friend 1: Is it true that your wife talks to herself when she is alone? Friend 2: I don't know. I wasn't with her when she was alone. funkyy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted July 11, 2020 Share Posted July 11, 2020 Krinal, kyber, lurch234 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurch234 Posted July 12, 2020 Share Posted July 12, 2020 3 hours ago, Karlston said: Seeing that he's wearing that "red" cap. I don't know if I should laugh or cry... ghost and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted July 12, 2020 Share Posted July 12, 2020 Q: How do you stay warm in an empty room? A: Go stand in the corner—it’s always 90 degrees. Karlston, funkyy and ghost 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted July 12, 2020 Share Posted July 12, 2020 Men Are Like Bluetooth… Always Connected When Wife Is Around… The Moment Wife Is Away… They Automatically Starts Searching For New Devices… Karlston, TrojanK, ghost and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PLASMA Posted July 12, 2020 Share Posted July 12, 2020 Mois Jet Power ☣️ ghost, Krinal, lurch234 and 3 others 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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