flash13 Posted March 3, 2020 Share Posted March 3, 2020 xkryptonx, Karlston, leapinlizards and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted March 4, 2020 Share Posted March 4, 2020 flash13 and jbleck 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flash13 Posted March 4, 2020 Share Posted March 4, 2020 Karlston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 4, 2020 Share Posted March 4, 2020 Teacher: Are you good in history? Little Johnny: Yes and no. Teacher: What does that mean? Little Johnny: Yes, I’m no good in history. Karlston and xkryptonx 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 4, 2020 Share Posted March 4, 2020 A woman phones up her husband at work for a chat. HIM "I'm sorry dear but I'm up to my neck in work today." HER "But I've got some good news and some bad news for you dear." HIM "OK darling, but as I've got no time now, just give me the good news." HER "Well, the air bag works." TrojanK, Karlston, leapinlizards and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post aum Posted March 4, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted March 4, 2020 Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance, he would always reply "It could have been worse." To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely bad, so terrible, that even Frank could find no hope in it. On the golf course one day, one of them said, "Frank, did you hear about Tom?" "He came home last night, found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both and then turned the gun on himself!" "That's awful," said Frank, "but it could have been worse." "How in the hell," asked his bewildered friend, "could it have been worse?" "Well," replied Frank, "if it happened the night before, I'd be dead now!" flash13, xkryptonx, Karlston and 4 others 2 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flash13 Posted March 4, 2020 Share Posted March 4, 2020 Karlston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dce3480 Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 (edited) Say Edited March 5, 2020 by Dce3480 Cheese_cake Karlston and flash13 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 polinom00, haris_sane69, flash13 and 2 others 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flash13 Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 polinom00, Karlston and aum 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 xkryptonx and flash13 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 First Mouse: I finally got that scientist trained. Second Mouse: How so? First Mouse: Every time I go through the maze and ring the bell, he gives me something to eat. xkryptonx, TrojanK, leapinlizards and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flash13 Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 TrojanK and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 flash13 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 Scene: A court room in Oklahoma where a person is on trial for murder. There is strong evidence indicating guilt; however, there is no corpse. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client is guilty and that it looks like he'll probably be convicted, resorts to a clever trick. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer says as he looks at his watch. "Within 1 minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this court room," he says and he looks toward the courtroom door. The jury, somewhat stunned, all look on eagerly. A minute passes. Nothing happens. Finally the lawyer says: 'Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I, therefore, put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty." The jury, clearly confused, retires to deliberate. A very few minutes later, the jury returns and a representative pronounces a verdict of guilty. "But how?" inquires the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door." Answers the representative: "Oh, we did look. But your client didn't." Karlston, flash13, leapinlizards and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flash13 Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 jbleck 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polinom00 Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 Karlston, syd5237, flash13 and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flash13 Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 TrojanK, aum and polinom00 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?" The mother says, "It's my daughter, Debbie. She keeps getting these cravings, she's putting on weight, and she is sick most mornings." The doctor gives Debbie a good examination, then turns to the mother and says, "Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but your Debbie is pregnant--about four months would be my guess." The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be, she has never been left alone with a man! Have you, Debbie?" Debbie says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man!" The doctor walked over to the window and stared outside. About five minutes passed before the mother said, "Is there something wrong out there, doctor?" The doctor replied, "No, not at it. It's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I'm not going to miss it this time around!" jbleck, polinom00, flash13 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flash13 Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 PLASMA, TrojanK and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polinom00 Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 Statue Fun xkryptonx, Karlston, haris_sane69 and 2 others 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flash13 Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 xkryptonx, polinom00, haris_sane69 and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flash13 Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 Karlston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrishKing Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 An angry wife to her husband on phone: "Where the hell are you?" Husband: "Darling, you remember that jewelry shop where you saw the diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it, and I didn't have money that time, and I said 'Baby it'll be yours one day'?" Wife, with a smile and blushing: "Yeah I remember that my love!" Husband: "I'm in the pub just next to that shop." flash13, aum, TrojanK and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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