aum Posted April 26, 2020 Share Posted April 26, 2020 Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, a company matching retirement fund for 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every 2 years -- say, a red Corvette?" The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?" And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it." J WACKO, Karlston, Adenman and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post aum Posted April 26, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted April 26, 2020 Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the playground and going into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane kissing. Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly. "MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND DADDY AND..." Mommy tells him to slow down, but that she wants to hear the story. So Johnny tells her. "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went to look and Daddy was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane laid down on the seat, then Daddy..." At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight." At the dinner table, Mommy asks Johnny to tell his story. He describes the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and, "then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Jeff used to do when Daddy was in the Army." TrojanK, Pequi, leapinlizards and 4 others 3 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J WACKO Posted April 26, 2020 Share Posted April 26, 2020 A father was very upset about his young son's betting habits, so went up to school to talk to the boy's teacher, who promised to have a word with him. "Maybe if he lost heavily on a bet, it would cure him," she suggested. That night after school she asked the boy to stay behind and confronted him about the bad habits he was getting into. "It's not only me, Miss," replied the boy. "You're a cheat; you pretend to be a natural blonde, but you've got dark hair between your legs." "I have not!" she blurted out without thinking. "Oh, yes, you have, and I'll bet you my month's pocket money." The teacher was in a bit of a quandary. She had promised to help and this could be an expensive bet for him to lose. So she lifted her skirt and dropped her knickers. Having won the bet she rang the boy's father to tell him the good news. "Damn it!" he said. "This morning he bet me a tenner he'd get your knickers off before the day was out." * 😛 leapinlizards and Pequi 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flash13 Posted April 26, 2020 Share Posted April 26, 2020 J WACKO, aum, leapinlizards and 2 others 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted April 26, 2020 Share Posted April 26, 2020 TrojanK, flash13, kyber and 2 others 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flash13 Posted April 26, 2020 Share Posted April 26, 2020 Karlston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morfeus18 Posted April 27, 2020 Share Posted April 27, 2020 Karlston, ghost, TrojanK and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted April 27, 2020 Share Posted April 27, 2020 St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball. Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys. "Very well," said the gatekeeper of Heaven. "But you realize, I hope, that we've got all the good players and the best coaches." "I know, and that's all right," Satan answered unperturbed. "We've got all the umpires." kyber, Adenman, ghost and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted April 27, 2020 Share Posted April 27, 2020 After she woke up, a woman told her husband, “I just had a dream that you gave me the most beautiful diamond necklace. What do you think it means?” “You'll know tonight.” he said with a smile. The woman could hardly think of anything else all day and she couldn't wait for her husband to return home. That evening, the man finally came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it excitedly to find a book entitled… “The Meaning of Dreams” Karlston, kyber, TrojanK and 3 others 2 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted April 27, 2020 Share Posted April 27, 2020 flash13, ghost and kyber 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flash13 Posted April 28, 2020 Share Posted April 28, 2020 Karlston, Pequi, TrojanK and 2 others 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Karlston Posted April 28, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted April 28, 2020 polinom00, aum, vitorio and 4 others 2 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polinom00 Posted April 28, 2020 Share Posted April 28, 2020 A Walmartian, caught on camera! ghost, flash13, Karlston and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost Posted April 28, 2020 Share Posted April 28, 2020 22 minutes ago, Karlston said: I could be wrong, but i don't think that's what they meant by "hauling ass" Karlston and flash13 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post aum Posted April 28, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted April 28, 2020 A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions.... Officer: What's 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm... 4! Officer: What's the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm... 10! Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm... I dunno. Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow. The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. The blonde says, excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a murder case!" ghost, flash13, Adenman and 5 others 3 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post flash13 Posted April 28, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted April 28, 2020 Rainmaker, polinom00, Pequi and 4 others 2 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polinom00 Posted April 29, 2020 Share Posted April 29, 2020 magic school bus Karlston, ghost and flash13 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vitorio Posted April 29, 2020 Share Posted April 29, 2020 17 hours ago, Karlston said: This day there’re a lot. No names, please. Karlston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost Posted April 29, 2020 Share Posted April 29, 2020 2 hours ago, polinom00 said: magic school bus sex education used to be different.... Karlston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polinom00 Posted April 29, 2020 Share Posted April 29, 2020 Here in Canada we take hockey a little serious. Karlston, flash13 and ghost 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Karlston Posted April 29, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted April 29, 2020 vitorio, Akaneharuka, Abacaxi and 8 others 6 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post flash13 Posted April 29, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted April 29, 2020 ghost, leapinlizards, aum and 5 others 2 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post aum Posted April 30, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted April 30, 2020 As a older man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on route 290. Please be careful!" "Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them !!!" leapinlizards, Abacaxi, ghost and 4 others 3 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted April 30, 2020 Share Posted April 30, 2020 syd5237, polinom00, flash13 and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akaneharuka Posted May 1, 2020 Share Posted May 1, 2020 haris_sane69 and Karlston 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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