Jump to content

[JOTD] Joke of the day


rudrax

Recommended Posts

- 'Two cannibals were eating a clown – one said to the other, 'Does he taste funny to you?'

 

- 'My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we don't know where the hell she is.'

 

- The wife’s mother said: ‘When you’re dead, I’ll dance on your grave.’
I said: ‘Good. I’m being buried at sea.’

 

- 'A few decades ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please don't let Kevin Bacon die.'

 

- 'God gave men a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.'

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. 'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.' The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said. 'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said. The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.' Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'. The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?' The Irishman replied, 'These are Carol's'

And So The Christmas Season begins......and I sure hope the jokes get better.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


On 5/4/2013 at 0:29 PM, rudrax said:

Couple of decades ago, one of the husbands was working abroad and wrote a letter to his wife.
He wrote:

My dear love,
A lot of love from me. In this month, I've sent 100 kisses instead of salary.
Please take them. With love,
your love.

Wife replied:

I've taken all the love sent by you as well as the kisses.
The driver took 2 of them.
Pinky's tutor asked for 7.
The milkman didn't convince at 7, so gotta give him 9.
The laundry boy takes 5 daily.
And, the landlord doesn't only convince with kisses, need to give him your loves too.

You don't worry. If kisses and love came short, I'll borrow from someone.

With love,
Your love.

:rofl:

lmfao..... :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites


1. Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
    Student: "Meat!"
    Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
     Student: "Bacon!"
     Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
      Student: "Homework!"

 

2. My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

Edited by Ajay1982
Link to comment
Share on other sites


A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Link to comment
Share on other sites


This beautiful girl has a kind of body that will make most of the man jealous.

 

a_RAgjp_B_460s.jpg

 

@mona, join the gym soon :workout:

Edited by rudrax
Added the last line
Link to comment
Share on other sites


On 30 grudzień 2015 at 2:01 PM, rudrax said:

This beautiful girl has a kind of body that will make most of the man jealous.

 

Spoiler

 

a_RAgjp_B_460s.jpg

 

 

@mona, join the gym soon :workout:

 

Not my cup of tea.

:P  :lol:

Edited by mona
Link to comment
Share on other sites


Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...