aum Posted March 25 Share Posted March 25 While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand-painted sign that read, "Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step on exhaust." funkyy, ducky88 and Adenman 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted March 25 Share Posted March 25 TrojanK, phen0men4, ducky88 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 Spoiler The shoulders is how to tell ducky88 and funkyy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akaneharuka Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 ducky88, Karlston and funkyy 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 A fellow tries to cross the Mexican border on a bicycle with two big bags balanced on his shoulders. The guard asks, 'What's in the bags?' The fellow says, 'Sand!' The guard wants to examine them. The fellow gets off the bike, places the bags on the ground, opens them up, and the guard inspects... only to find sand. The fellow packs the sand, places the bags on his shoulders, and pedals the bike across the border. Two weeks later, the same situation is repeated... 'What have you there?' 'Sand' 'We want to examine.' Same results... nothing but sand and the fellow is on his way again. Every two weeks for six months the inspections continue. Finally, one week the fellow didn't show up. However, the guard sees him downtown and says to the fellow, 'Buddy, you had us crazy. We sort of knew you were smuggling something. I won't say anything - what were you smuggling?' The fellow says, 'Bicycles.' ducky88, Adenman and funkyy 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 After eight days of backpacking with my wife, we were looking pretty scruffy. One morning she came to breakfast in a baseball cap, her shoulder length hair sticking out at odd angles. "Darling," she said, "does my hair make me look like a water buffalo?" I thought for a moment, then said, "If I tell you the truth, do you promise not to charge?" Karlston, ducky88, funkyy and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read... "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents." Adenman, funkyy, ducky88 and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 funkyy, vitorio and ducky88 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akaneharuka Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 ducky88, Archimede, Karlston and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archimede Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 Well, at least he's not selling the (very necessary) workout machine 🤣 Akaneharuka and Karlston 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 funkyy and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted March 31 Share Posted March 31 aum, ducky88, danielson and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 ducky88 and funkyy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted April 2 Share Posted April 2 ALL You NEED TO LEARN ABOUT LIFE YOU CAN LEARN FROM THE EASTER BUNNY! Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Walk softly and carry a big carrot. Everyone needs a friend who is all ears. There's no such thing as too much candy. All work and no play can make you a basket case. A cute little tail attracts a lot of attention. Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day. Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits. Some body parts should be floppy. Keep you paws off other people's jellybeans. Good things come in small-sugarcoated packages. The grass is greener in someone else's basket. An Easter bonnet can tame even the wildest hare. To show your true colors you have to come out of the shell. The best things in life are still sweet and gooey. aum, Karlston, funkyy and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted April 6 Share Posted April 6 An elderly man walked into a car dealership, only to learn that the car he wanted had just been sold to a beautiful blonde. Frustrated, he said to the salesman: “I thought you said you’d hold that car until we came up with the $75,000 asking price! And now I hear you sold it to that young lady for $65,000! You told me there were no discounts on this model!” The salesman just grinned and shrugged. “Well… she had the cash. And honestly… just look at her. How could I resist?” At that moment, the blonde strolled over, dangled the keys in front of the elderly man, and said: “There you go. Told you I could get this joker to drop the price.” She winked and added: “See you later, Grandpa.” Karlston, funkyy and aum 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vitorio Posted April 6 Share Posted April 6 Blondies are unique, they can go either way (smart or dump) funkyy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted April 6 Share Posted April 6 ducky88 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted April 7 Share Posted April 7 ducky88 and funkyy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted April 8 Share Posted April 8 funkyy and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted April 10 Share Posted April 10 ducky88 and funkyy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted April 14 Share Posted April 14 My dog after eating my philosophy book funkyy, aum and ducky88 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted April 15 Share Posted April 15 A social worker who had recently transferred from the big city to the mountains was touring her new territory. While familiarizing herself with her new territory, she came upon a tiny cabin. Intrigued, she knocked on the door. "Anybody home?" A child's voice answered, "Yep." "Is your Father there?" "Pa? Nope, he left before Ma came in." "Well, is your Mother there?" "Nope, Ma left just before I got here." Thinking she had a violation to report, she queries... "Are you ever together as a family?" "Sure, but not here. This is the outhouse!" aum and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted April 16 Share Posted April 16 ducky88 and funkyy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted April 16 Share Posted April 16 Windows 12 leak! ducky88 and funkyy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted April 18 Share Posted April 18 Adenman, ducky88 and funkyy 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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