aum Posted November 11, 2022 Share Posted November 11, 2022 funkyy, ducky88, Karlston and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 11, 2022 Share Posted November 11, 2022 Karlston, funkyy, ducky88 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 11, 2022 Share Posted November 11, 2022 vitorio, ducky88, funkyy and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted November 11, 2022 Share Posted November 11, 2022 The squirrels must be gathering nuts. Three of my neighbors have disappeared. Disco Bob, aum and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pc71520 Posted November 11, 2022 Share Posted November 11, 2022 Did you know? If you get pregnant in the Amazon, it’s Next-Day Delivery. ducky88, Karlston, anakin206 and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 11, 2022 Share Posted November 11, 2022 A friend of mine told me about the book club she joined. It's called, "Read between the wines." Karlston and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted November 11, 2022 Share Posted November 11, 2022 Giant cats are causing the supply chain issues aum, funkyy, ducky88 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted November 11, 2022 Share Posted November 11, 2022 Don't cheat on a T-Rex funkyy, aum and ducky88 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akaneharuka Posted November 12, 2022 Share Posted November 12, 2022 TrojanK and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pc71520 Posted November 12, 2022 Share Posted November 12, 2022 ‘Two Flies are playing Football in a saucer. One says to the other: “Make an effort, we’re playing in the Cup tomorrow.”’ 🤣 ducky88 and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted November 12, 2022 Share Posted November 12, 2022 What do you call a fly with no wings? Spoiler A walk. Disco Bob and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 12, 2022 Share Posted November 12, 2022 A Sunday school teacher asked her second graders if anyone knew another name for God. She was picturing answers like 'Lord' or 'Almighty'. After a long moment of silence a little boy raised his hand and said, "Howard." "Howard?" replied the confused teacher. "You know," continued the boy, "Howard be thy name." Karlston, ducky88 and pc71520 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 12, 2022 Share Posted November 12, 2022 Little Johnny's father took him on a fishing trip to Canada. On returning home after catching only three fish his father says, "The way I figure it each fish cost us $400!" Little Johnny replied, "Well, at that price it’s a good thing we didn’t catch any more of them than we did." pc71520, ducky88 and Karlston 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 12, 2022 Share Posted November 12, 2022 Mrs. O'Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin, and coming in the opposite direction was Father O'Rafferty. "Hello," said the Father, "And how is Mrs. O'Donovan, didn't I marry you two years ago?" "You did that, Father." "And are there any little ones yet?" "No, not yet, Father." Said she. "Well now, I'm going to Rome next week, and I'll light a candle for you." "Thank-you, Father." And away she went. A few years later they met again. "Well now, Mrs. O'Donovan," said the Father, "how are you?" "Oh, very well," said she. "And tell me," he said, "have you any little ones yet?" "Oh yes, Father. I've had three sets of twins, and four singles - ten in all." "Now isn't that wonderful," he said "And how is your lovely husband?" "Oh," she said, "he's over in Rome to blow that bloody candle out!" Karlston and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 12, 2022 Share Posted November 12, 2022 funkyy, ducky88 and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted November 12, 2022 Share Posted November 12, 2022 ducky88, aum, pc71520 and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted November 13, 2022 Share Posted November 13, 2022 Murphy the Roofer was working when suddenly he started shaking and feeling dizzy. He calls down to Paddy the Hod-Carrier and says "I think I must go home, I've just come over all giddy and feel sick". Paddy shouts up to Murphy on the roof "Have you got vertigo"? Murphy replies, "No I only live round the corner". funkyy, aum, Karlston and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pc71520 Posted November 13, 2022 Share Posted November 13, 2022 Twenty years ago, we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now, we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Disco Bob, ducky88 and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 13, 2022 Share Posted November 13, 2022 I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I had any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place! ducky88, pc71520, TrojanK and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted November 13, 2022 Share Posted November 13, 2022 My wife said to just grab a handful…She didn’t realize I could grip the whole row one handed. ducky88, Disco Bob, gipsy and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted November 13, 2022 Share Posted November 13, 2022 My cat huffs stinky shoes. We found her like this after the repairman took his off when he came in yesterday. aum, funkyy, TrojanK and 3 others 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pc71520 Posted November 14, 2022 Share Posted November 14, 2022 Three (3) guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one (1) wish. -The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. -The second guy wishes the same. -The third guy says: ‘I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.’ ducky88, Disco Bob, funkyy and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 14, 2022 Share Posted November 14, 2022 A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in New Zealand and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own." The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in North Wairarapa. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'" The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?" The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up." The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees! His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie. The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn." The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck." Karlston, Radpop, ducky88 and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 14, 2022 Share Posted November 14, 2022 “When We All Have Pocket Telephones”: A 1920s Comic Accurately Predicts Our Cellphone-Dominated Lives Source pc71520, ducky88, Karlston and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted November 15, 2022 Share Posted November 15, 2022 Two mysterious people live in my house. Somebody and Nobody! Somebody did it and Nobody knows who! aum, Karlston, funkyy and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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