Karlston Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 Astronaut 1: "I can't find any milk for my coffee" Astronaut 2: "In space no-one can. Here, use cream" flash13 and Krinal 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted December 4, 2020 Share Posted December 4, 2020 A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the old saying, “You can’t take it with you.” After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance-chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died. He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. His plan: When he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven. Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer’s wife, up in the attic cleaning came upon the two forgotten pillowcases stuffed with cash. “Oh, that old fool,” she exclaimed. “I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement.” Krinal, lurch234, TrojanK and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Krinal Posted December 4, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted December 4, 2020 Wife : "why are u home so early?" Hubby : "My boss said go to hell!" TrojanK, phen0men4, scarabou and 5 others 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PLASMA Posted December 4, 2020 Share Posted December 4, 2020 Karlston, phen0men4, Adenman and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 4, 2020 Share Posted December 4, 2020 One Too Many In other news, the seven dwarfs have been advised that they can only meet in groups of 6... One of them isn’t Happy! scarabou, ducky88, Krinal and 2 others 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Krinal Posted December 4, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted December 4, 2020 All Men are Brave, Horror Movies don't Scare them.... But 5 Missed Calls from Wife ..surely does.. Karlston, TrojanK, rushdie and 4 others 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flash13 Posted December 4, 2020 Share Posted December 4, 2020 TrojanK, Krinal, ducky88 and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted December 4, 2020 Share Posted December 4, 2020 lurch234, Krinal, flash13 and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scarabou Posted December 4, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted December 4, 2020 Two blondes go deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree... After hours and hours of sub-zero temperatures, a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turns to the other and says, "Enough is enough! I'm chopping down the next tree I see! I don't care whether it's decorated or not!" Karlston, TrojanK, Krinal and 4 others 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthEastKnight Posted December 4, 2020 Share Posted December 4, 2020 5 minutes ago, Karlston said: MASSIVE FART IN PROGRESS ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurch234 Posted December 4, 2020 Share Posted December 4, 2020 Karlston, Krinal and ducky88 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ducky88 Posted December 5, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted December 5, 2020 It's game 7 of the NBA finals and a man makes his way to his seat at center court. He sits down and notices that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone is sitting there. He responds, "No, the seat's empty." "The first man exclaims, "What?!? Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the NBA finals and not use it?" The neighbor responds, "Well the seat is mine, but my wife passed away and this is the first NBA finals we haven't been together." The first man responds," I'm sorry to hear that. Wasn't there anyone else, a friend or relative, that could've taken that seat?" The neighbor responds, "No, they're all at the funeral." TrojanK, Karlston, august_rain and 5 others 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Krinal Posted December 5, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted December 5, 2020 When you are in love, Wonders happen. But once you get married, You wonder, what happened. lurch234, aum, Karlston and 5 others 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 5, 2020 Share Posted December 5, 2020 I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthetic. He said, "Sure, knock yourself out!" Krinal, Karlston, august_rain and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted December 5, 2020 Share Posted December 5, 2020 Law of equality The time taken by a wife when she says I'll get ready in 5 min is exactly equal to the time taken by husband when he says 'I'll call u in 5 min! aum, august_rain, Karlston and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dce3480 Posted December 5, 2020 Share Posted December 5, 2020 I Want Crack on Nsane.Forums..! scarabou and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarabou Posted December 5, 2020 Share Posted December 5, 2020 august_rain, TrojanK, Karlston and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted December 5, 2020 Share Posted December 5, 2020 scarabou and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted December 6, 2020 Share Posted December 6, 2020 Two retired professors were vacationing with their wives at a hotel in the Catskills. They were sitting on the veranda one summer evening, watching the sunset. The history professor asked the psychology professor, “Have you read Marx?” To which the professor of psychology replied, “Yes and I think it’s these damned wicker chairs.” Karlston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 6, 2020 Share Posted December 6, 2020 As the doctor completed an examination of the patient, he said, ''I can't find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it's due to drinking.'' ''In that case,'' said the patient, ''I'll come back when you're sober'' august_rain, TrojanK, funkyy and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 6, 2020 Share Posted December 6, 2020 A Canadian tourist is fascinated by the Native American way of life and culture, so he decides to visit a reservation in the United States to find out more. After a long and dusty drive through the Arizona desert, he finally arrives at the reservation. Soon after his arrival, the tourist meets an old chief, who claims to remember everything that ever happened in his life. The tourist is curious and asks the chief: “What did you have for breakfast on your fifth birthday?”Without hesitation, the chief replies: “eggs”. The tourist was very impressed by this, and he never forgot the chief’s words, even after his visit had long since ended. Ten years later, he returns to the reservation and is surprised to see the same old chief again. He approaches the chief, puts his hand up flat and greets him with “how”. “Scrambled,” the old chief replied. Krinal, Karlston, august_rain and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted December 6, 2020 Share Posted December 6, 2020 ducky88, TrojanK, Krinal and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted December 6, 2020 Share Posted December 6, 2020 A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!" The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages." "Nah," she says, "that's okay. We're never going back to that restaurant anyway." Karlston, scarabou, Krinal and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarabou Posted December 7, 2020 Share Posted December 7, 2020 PLASMA, funkyy, Karlston and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Krinal Posted December 7, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted December 7, 2020 Define Marriage: It's a way through which two people join together to solve the problems they never had before. Karlston, ducky88, scarabou and 4 others 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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