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[JOTD] Joke of the day


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Lost in translation....

A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed.

In the stillness of the house, she could hear a muffled sound downstairs.

She went downstairs and looked all around, still not finding her husband. Listening again, she could definitely hear moaning.

She went down to the basement to find her husband, crouched in the corner facing the wall, sobbing.

"What's wrong with you?" She asked him.

"Remember when your father caught us having sex when you were 16?" he replied. "And remember he said, I had two choices: I could either marry you, or spend the next 20 years in prison."

Baffled, she said, "Yes, I remember, so what?"

"I would have gotten out today." 
🙂

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A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but didn't want to spend a lot of money. "How much do they cost?" he asked the salesman.


"Anything from $2 to $2,000."


"Can I see the $2 model?" said the customer.


The salesman put the device around the man's neck, and said: "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down into your pocket."


"How does it work?" asked the customer.


"For $2, it doesn't work," said the salesman. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder."

 

 

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I walked into a coffee shop on Halloween to find the woman behind the counter with a bunch of sponges pinned to her uniform.


"I'm assuming this is a costume, but just what are you supposed to be?" I asked.


The waitress responded proudly, "I'm self-absorbed."

 

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At Swinburne University, there were four students taking chemistry and all of them had an 'A' so far. These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go to Sydney and visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to the Uni until late Monday morning.

 

Rather than taking the final then, they decided that after the final they would explain to their professor why they missed it. They said that they visited friends but, on the way, back they had a flat tyre and found there was no spare in the car. As a result, they missed the final. The Professor agreed they could make up the final the next day.

 

The guys were excited and relieved. They studied that night for the exam. The next day the Professor placed them in separate rooms and gave them a test booklet. They quickly answered the first problem worth 5 points. Cool, they thought! Each one in separate rooms thought this was going to be easy ... then they turned the page. On the second page was written:

 

Spoiler

For 95 points: Which tyre went flat?

 

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