aum Posted November 22, 2019 Share Posted November 22, 2019 A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big airplanes have baby airplanes?" The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy went down the aisle and asked the stewardess. The stewardess, who was very busy at the time, smiled and said, "Did your Mom tell you to ask me?" The boy said, "yes she did." "Well, then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby airplanes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your Mom explain that to you." Karlston and Pequi 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted November 22, 2019 Share Posted November 22, 2019 polinom00, TrojanK, Pequi and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cosy Posted November 22, 2019 Share Posted November 22, 2019 Karlston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurch234 Posted November 22, 2019 Share Posted November 22, 2019 Scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll Spoiler Karlston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polinom00 Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 TrojanK, Pequi, Karlston and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope. At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures. At the fourth house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, which she closed behind him, and took him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had enough, they went downstairs and she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied, she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "But what's the dollar for?" "Well," she said, "Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, 'Screw him. Give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my idea." Karlston, Pequi, leapinlizards and 1 other 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 polinom00 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polinom00 Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 Karlston, TrojanK and Pequi 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 24, 2019 Share Posted November 24, 2019 Two prisoners are talking about their crimes: George: "I robbed a bank, and they gave me 20 years" Herman: "Hmm. I killed a man, and I'm here for 3 days" George: "*WHAT*??? I rob a bank and get 20 years; you kill a man and get 3 days???" Herman: "Yeah, it was a lawyer." Karlston and Pequi 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polinom00 Posted November 24, 2019 Share Posted November 24, 2019 aum and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 24, 2019 Share Posted November 24, 2019 (edited) A wife complains to her husband: “Just look at that couple down the road, Roger, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her … Why can’t you do the same?” “Are you mad? I barely know the woman!” Edited November 24, 2019 by aum Pequi, Karlston and TrojanK 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 24, 2019 Share Posted November 24, 2019 A husband asks his wife: If I died, would you marry again? Oh darling, of course I wouldn’t. I’d go and live with my sister. And if I died, would you remarry? No, I think I’d go and live with your sister too. leapinlizards, TrojanK, polinom00 and 2 others 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted November 24, 2019 Share Posted November 24, 2019 TrojanK and polinom00 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polinom00 Posted November 24, 2019 Share Posted November 24, 2019 black1, Karlston and aum 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dce3480 Posted November 25, 2019 Share Posted November 25, 2019 Yeah Bawt Dat "Marvin" Karlston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morfeus18 Posted November 25, 2019 Share Posted November 25, 2019 Mac now supports window's Radpop, Karlston, TrojanK and 3 others 1 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 25, 2019 Share Posted November 25, 2019 Mrs. O'Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin, and coming in the opposite direction was Father O'Rafferty. "Hello," said the Father, "And how is Mrs. O'Donovan, didn't I marry you two years ago?" "You did that, Father." "And are there any little ones yet?" "No, not yet, Father." Said she. "Well now, I'm going to Rome next week, and I'll light a candle for you." "Thank-you, Father." And away she went. A few years later they met again. "Well now, Mrs. O'Donovan," said the Father, "how are you?" "Oh, very well," said she. "And tell me," he said, "have you any little ones yet?" "Oh yes, Father. I've had three sets of twins, and four singles - ten in all." "Now isn't that wonderful," he said "And how is your lovely husband?" "Oh," she said, "he's over in Rome to blow that bloody candle out!" Pequi, leapinlizards and Karlston 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted November 25, 2019 Share Posted November 25, 2019 polinom00 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polinom00 Posted November 26, 2019 Share Posted November 26, 2019 TrojanK, Pequi, Karlston and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mp68terr Posted November 26, 2019 Share Posted November 26, 2019 5 hours ago, polinom00 said: Ask D. Rumsfeld, it's maybe full of aspartame! sandman117 and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morfeus18 Posted November 26, 2019 Share Posted November 26, 2019 Tourist in Venice, Italy jbleck, polinom00 and Karlston 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted November 26, 2019 Share Posted November 26, 2019 Pequi, polinom00 and TrojanK 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polinom00 Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 Hidden talent... Karlston and TrojanK 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?' He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy..' She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.' The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?' He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.' TrojanK, Pequi and leapinlizards 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cosy Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 The world will remain a puzzle Karlston and J WACKO 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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