x_engineer_x Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 Three men are captured by cannibals. The cannibal leader says that if the men can go into the jungle and find 10 of the same fruit they would be freed. So they go into the jungle. The first man comes out and was told by the leader that if he could shove all his fruits (apples) up his butt without wincing or making faces they would be freed. So the man shoves the first one up and then a second one accept he winced so they killed him. The second man comes in with berries. He's all the way to 8 when he bursts out laughing and is killed. In heaven the first man asks the second man "why did you burst out laughing you could of made it?" The second man replies "I couldn't help it I saw the third guy come into the clearing with pineapples. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
child Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 A Little Boy was so Jealous of his New Born Brother, He put poison on Mom's Nipple While She was asleep......................................The Next day, Their Driver Died. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrX Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knowledge-Spammer Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 wtf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackchildcx Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 (edited) You mentfather,for sure...?!! Edited February 28, 2014 by Blackchildcx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
implague Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 thanx god it was in the bed not while driving.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robo Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 thanx god it was in the bed not while driving....What makes you think they were in bed? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knowledge-Spammer Posted March 2, 2014 Share Posted March 2, 2014 thanx god it was in the bed not while driving....What makes you think they were in bed?He put poison on Mom's Nipple While She was asleep. were do your mum sleep i am thinking in bed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chancer Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 A Man received the following text from his neighbor:I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.A few moments later, a second text came in:Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlimRock Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK, old fart, time to retire." The old rooster replies, "Come on, you can't handle ALL these chickens. Look what it's done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?" The young rooster says, "Beat it! You're washed up and I'm taking over." The old rooster says "I'll tell you what, young stud, I'll race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop." The young rooster laughs, "You know you don't stand a chance old man, so just to be fair, I'll give you a head start." The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He's already about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by, one right behind the other. He grabs his shotgun and BOOM! -- he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head, "Damn...third gay rooster I've bought this month." :tooth: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rkkdjb Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dMog Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 math never lies ...but it still sucks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rkkdjb Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 (edited) A man wanted to prove to a group of alcoholics the effect of alcohol in human body system. He brought two jars; one containing water and the other containing alcohol, along with a very healthy worm. He said to the audience:"This jar contain water"He dropped the worm in the jar and said, "Please watch the reaction". The worm swam to the side of the jar and up it floats dangling and swimming.The man took the worm out of the first jar and put it in the second jar containing alcohol and said to the audience " now watch the reaction" The worm went right down into the water and struggled for survival. There and then every body saw the worm shrinking and dis-integrating, and in one word, died.The man turned round an asked the audience " what would you all say to this".After a long silence, someone from the rear stood up and said" I can see that if I drink alcohol, there will be no more worm in my body". Edited March 8, 2014 by rkkdjb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STEEL Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 (edited) :lol: :moon: :rofl: Edited March 8, 2014 by STEEL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlimRock Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ARMOUR Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 (edited) Edited March 12, 2014 by ARMOUR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chancer Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem.A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back.Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror. There are teachers, and then there are educators... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kn_andre Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem.A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back.Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror. There are teachers, and then there are educators...Very nice one :lol: :lol: :lol: ... This is not just a LoL(Laugh out Loud) Joke, it is a LaL ( Laugh And Learn ) :D :D :P ... Cheers for Sharing ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
croosade Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 nice joke man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roger D Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 :P :P :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roger D Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 ;) ;) ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurch234 Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 (edited) A few quick ones...What do you call a piece of crap on a piano stool: Beethoven's last movement.What do you call a piece of crap in an army camp: Gomer's Pile.Two friends talking together."My wife's an angel" says the first."Lucky bastard" answers the second. "Mine's still alive"Q & A about blondesQ: What do you call a blonde driving a car?A: An air bag.Q: What do you call two blondes in a freezer?A: Frosted flakes.Q: What do you call a blonde on a college campus?A: A visitor.Q: Why should you keep a blonde on the job seven days a week?A: You wouldn't have to retrain them every monday.Q: What did the blonde do after hearing she was expecting twins?A: She searched all over town for the other father.Q: Why was the blonde so happy when she finished her puzzle in six months?A:It said on the box 2-4 years!Q: What do you call a group of blondes standing in a circle, holding hands?A: A dope ring. And the finale.................Q: Why did the blonde couple freeze to death in their car at a drive-in theater?A: They went to see " Closed for the Winter ". Edited March 29, 2014 by lurch234 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
implague Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 (edited) http://imgur.com/yeKkxMM I am not able to post image link Edited March 31, 2014 by implague Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archimede Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 It must be a DICKRETRIEVER... Rare breed :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudrax Posted April 1, 2014 Author Share Posted April 1, 2014 Why don't this guy die alreay!http://mynokiablog.com/2012/10/01/my-dream-nokia-69-nokia-lumia-3310-wp8-concept-peta-pixel-pureview-camera-7-billion-ghz-56-core-meteor-proof/He will fail even Alex Jones! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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