Soon I will be saying goodbye :(

[nIGHT]

10 hours ago, Charles said:

 He did.

 

You're a very keen reader!

You spot a lot of info where others can miss it easily.

Thanks for replying it in behalf of HandyPaf, where he did gave those info already.

It is tiring for him to constantly answer the same question over and over again.

[DKT27]

I suggest everyone who wants do donate do so via PP through his official PP address until a way is found to crowdfund him here.

[GlacialMan]

On 1/5/2017 at 9:48 PM, GlacialMan said:

If someone want/can help HandyPAF aka PocketAppZ, the following link can be useful: http://paypal.me/pocketappz

He really needs help, moral support is very very helpful, but economic aid is crucial. Some of us are already helping but this is not enough, put your hand on conscience, few $ for each one become many (never too many) for him, he lives in the street with nothing...

 

[clubhouse]

$5 will buy him a burger and fries, he needs food.

[HandyPAF]

I apologize for my absence the last couple days or so. I couldn't read anything. I could see the letters, see the words, but couldn't make any sense of it. Someone saw me walking outside of their home and the sweet lady thought I didn't look very well. After inviting me into her home and feeding me some sort of casserole, she offered to give me a ride home but I politely refused. Couldn't bring myself to admit that I am homeless.

 

Then I slept for awhile on a couch in an alley or maybe it was someone's back yard but that detail doesn't matter. Anyway, while all this was going on my phone was missing but I found it earlier today and just not got it fully charged. The battery wasn't dead but too low for me to risk using it.

 

My current status is okay. Much warmer weather today and yesterday and it should continue for another day or two. I'm only eating one meal a day because I need to ration. I've got a shopping cart with about a dozen cans of soup and ravioli in it. When I need to sleep I go to a local park and lay next to a retaining wall, put the shopping cart next to me and use a blanket to drape over the cart and retaining wall so I'm not in direct sunlight.

 

I gave up trying to get back into the shelter. Way too many people there all the time, it's like trying to get to the front row at a concert and I've got to get thru the mosh pit first. I did receive a couple donations, which I am eternally grateful for. I used the first donation to get a hotel room a few days ago. Second donation got me this food and a pair of shoes but I forgot to get socks lol oh well.

 

I will do my best to keep you all updated. My phone is almost always on but given my circumstances, it is not always possible for me to post. Sometimes I am trying to conserve battery power, sometimes I am low on data and have to wait til I find a free WiFi hotspot, and sometimes I am too weary to take the time to post an update. Typing a long post such as this is tiring and also slow. I miss my keyboard.

[DeLino]

A small contribution from me.

They sent 25 $ to Sean.

 

 

Greetz from Germany

DeLino

[Reefa]

Just found this Thread...And well its tough to no what to say except Keep strong Bruv ...

[knowledge-Spammer]

sad news my friend I understand 100% I wish I can say more to u  maybe I'll inbox u if can and we talk more 

[KXR75]

very sad news for all nsane member

I hope you're given a miracle to heal friend

[eden2015]

god bless you friend

very sad i love all the ppl here like family

My heart cries for everyone who suffers
I wish you health and happiness
I'm so sorry

[jasonliul]

It's so hard to say bye.

My heart be with you, till the end.

 

We will meet in God's garden some day, like we never separate.

 

 

Edited May 14, 2017 by jasonliul

[humble3d]

On 4/24/2017 at 4:35 AM, saeed_dc said:

We all one day come to this world and one day must go from it, the important thing is what we do in this temporary world..

now don't lose hope, if chemical therapy is a way to go then don't think it's only gonna extend your suffering. if there is Any thing that can be done then do it so that you will be confident that you've done everything you could've done and tried your best at least, don't miss any chances.

 

IRAN LEADS THE WORLD IN STEM CELL RESEARCH... SHARE PLEASE...

[Sylence]

3 hours ago, humble3d said:

 

IRAN LEADS THE WORLD IN STEM CELL RESEARCH... SHARE PLEASE...

 

Don't have much info myself other than this, looks like some of the findings were the first in the world. , ideally he would require to pay doctors a visit in here.

 

anyways, nobody should think that they are immune to cancer. right now it's our friend from a forum who we don't know outside here, maybe next time it be our real life friend, or our neighbor, or a family member or.. even us...

it's a thing that we all should be prepared for it and don't let it surprise us.

 

Edited May 15, 2017 by saeed_dc

[GlacialMan]

On 1/5/2017 at 9:48 PM, GlacialMan said:

If someone want/can give help to HandyPAF aka PocketAppZ, the following link can be useful: http://paypal.me/pocketappz

He really needs help, moral support is very very helpful, but economic aid is crucial. Some of us are already helping but this is not enough, put your hand on conscience, few $ for each one become many (never too many) for him, he lives in the street with nothing... Thanks to all.

[HandyPAF]

Some info...

 

I am still living outside. I can't afford to move into an apartment or anything. The first month's rent is $500 or more and they require a deposit of the same amount when moving in, so it would cost over $1000 just to lock down a place to live.

 

I've been eating, still only once per day and sometimes not even that. I must ration the little commodities that I have. Sometimes I make it to a local church where they provide free soup and bread but that is not an everyday option.

 

Despite the fact that I haven't taken any medication for the past 2 or 3 weeks, I am still surviving. The pain is constant, the headaches are almost unbearable at times. When it gets real bad, I just curl up and cry until I fall asleep. My insurance is no longer valid because the U.S. Government requested my address and other information that I am unable to provide.

 

My only method of communication is the internet. I have my phone but that is the only way I can get online. I had to sell my old phone, needed the money, and then I spent a small portion of that money to purchase a cheap smartphone so I can continue to use WhatsApp. I bought a cheaper phone because I couldn't afford my previous cellphone provider. This new yet sh*tty phone is a prepaid so it saves me $40 a month.

 

My situation won't be changing anytime soon. I feel like I've exhausted all my resources and exhausted myself in the process. I was able to contact some agencies that were founded for the purpose of helping people who are in a similar predicament as I am. But they aren't in my area and aren't willing to travel. I believe this is because they are non-profit organizations so they are only capable of doing what they can afford and I guess transportation is not a priority for them. The woman I spoke with said they accept all walk-ins but I'm in a different county so the distance is the issue.

 

Not sure what else to say. Just taking it one day at a time. Sometimes I wake up and wish I hadn't. I'm always cold, even when I am fully clothed and covered with a blanket. The weather is warm, about 80 degrees Fahrenheit during the day, so I don't think it is due to an illness such as the flu, pneumonia or the like.

 

I will post another update as soon as there is something to update you about. As much as I wish I could post daily, it isn't the best option. Every day is exactly the same and it isn't often that I am able to muster the energy to type this all out. In all honesty, I typed up most of this over the course of the last few days. I copy/paste it here then make adjustments and additions as necessary.

 

Thank you again for all of the support. I'm not accustomed to being cared about. I know that you all care, I've never doubted that. But it is a small tragedy that we are unable to show such compassion until the circumstances force us to.

 

Best regards,

HandyPAF (a.k.a. PocketAppZ)

[Ragdd]

Don't loose hope Handypaf

A donation from me.

Please people, give whatever you can spare.

 

Bye

Ragdd

Edited May 17, 2017 by Ragdd

[demon.devin]

20 minutes ago, Ragdd said:

Don't loose hope Handypaf

A donation from me.

You my friend have just renewed my faith in mankind! You're a saint amongst heathens!

 

Thank you!

Edited May 17, 2017 by demon.devin
spelling

[swampy]

1 hour ago, Ragdd said:

Don't loose hope Handypaf

A donation from me.

Please people, give whatever you can spare.

 

Bye

Ragdd

I'll match you.

[demon.devin]

This was in response to a buddy of mine on the discord chat platform however.. it's got a limit to the word count on messages. So I'm posting here because it applies to PocketApps but can be heard by many who need this  too..

 

@a345  I can see what you're saying but I can most definitely identify with his reasoning. It can be a very dark and lonesome place once a person has put themselves in the realm of helplessness. So dark it begins to manifest itself in a very real physical illness. I should know for I've not only been blessed with cheating death once but more then what you can count with one hand (but no more than two). I can offer PocketApps the comforting notion though that the process behind a lot easier to cope with the more your faced with deaths unforgiving luster for life. For what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger and that's real shit people! However, the only thing I've found that was able to snap me out of those dark tunneling vision was that realization that in even the most darkest of place the faintest of light can shine unbelievably bright. And you'll never see it coming either. For instance with me with a couple of those dark times in my life it was the knowledge that the girlfriend I was with at the time has become pregnant a gave birth to probably the best thing that ever happened to me. Then it was the knowledge that my daughter was the greatest achievement by far that I've ever done. After that you'd think nothing would prevail that but then I was hit with the, this was over ten years ago and the last I had visited a doctor's office by choice and that was they had found a new abnormal growth in my left ear canal. That's when I decided to just live and not worry about that growth because dealing with that shit the first time around when I was so young and still in grammar school was enough for a lifetime and I'd much rather not smell that horrible smell of an operating room again. Shit the second surgery was the one in which they had removed the initial tumor and fucked me up so bad like I used to be a GATE student. For those who aren't familiar with that term it's a special program for the intellectually gifted and talented children. I had an IQ, if I remember correctly, of 144 which is of the charts for the age I was which was 7 years of age  at that time. Before the first surgery the subject I had excelled at was math. I was one of those chess playing super saiyans. But after the first surgery my best subject in school had become trying to keep up with any of them at all. I eventually fell into Special Needs Education after I had become a ward of the state in high school. After the second one though I had suddenly become highly linguistic in the art conversation and my command of the English language had come to an implicitly high regard acknowledged by many individuals, groups, and governments.. anyway that point I'm getting at is I can see where his head's at which is way I had reached out to him and offered him my home for any length of time he needed. I understand his hardship more so then I've probably let on about too much already with what I've already said here. In closing to this out of nowhere deep ass prose I've just Swyped together from my tablet is he needs to realize that he IS strong enough for this path he's been treading. Once he does, his days become brighter with or without whatever his illness is getting better or not. It's about accepting your inevitable situation and the ability to be at peace with it.

Edited May 17, 2017 by demon.devin
Just corrected certain things which was lost in transfering the message from my tablet to thread.

[nIGHT]

 

[tao]

On 5/15/2017 at 5:46 PM, saeed_dc said:

... it's a thing that we all should be prepared for it and don't let it surprise us.

There but for the Grace of God goes I. 

[HandyPAF]

On 5/17/2017 at 4:54 AM, Ragdd said:

Don't loose hope Handypaf

A donation from me.

Please people, give whatever you can spare.

 

Bye

Ragdd

 

On 5/17/2017 at 6:19 AM, swampy said:

I'll match you.

 

On 5/17/2017 at 10:00 AM, demon.devin said:

This was in response to a buddy of mine on the discord chat platform however.. it's got a limit to the word count on messages. So I'm posting here because it applies to PocketApps but can be heard by many who need this  too..

 

@a345  I can see what you're saying but I can most definitely identify with his reasoning. It can be a very dark and lonesome place once a person has put themselves in the realm of helplessness. So dark it begins to manifest itself in a very real physical illness. I should know for I've not only been blessed with cheating death once but more then what you can count with one hand (but no more than two). I can offer PocketApps the comforting notion though that the process behind a lot easier to cope with the more your faced with deaths unforgiving luster for life. For what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger and that's real shit people! However, the only thing I've found that was able to snap me out of those dark tunneling vision was that realization that in even the most darkest of place the faintest of light can shine unbelievably bright. And you'll never see it coming either. For instance with me with a couple of those dark times in my life it was the knowledge that the girlfriend I was with at the time has become pregnant a gave birth to probably the best thing that ever happened to me. Then it was the knowledge that my daughter was the greatest achievement by far that I've ever done. After that you'd think nothing would prevail that but then I was hit with the, this was over ten years ago and the last I had visited a doctor's office by choice and that was they had found a new abnormal growth in my left ear canal. That's when I decided to just live and not worry about that growth because dealing with that shit the first time around when I was so young and still in grammar school was enough for a lifetime and I'd much rather not smell that horrible smell of an operating room again. Shit the second surgery was the one in which they had removed the initial tumor and fucked me up so bad like I used to be a GATE student. For those who aren't familiar with that term it's a special program for the intellectually gifted and talented children. I had an IQ, if I remember correctly, of 144 which is of the charts for the age I was which was 7 years of age  at that time. Before the first surgery the subject I had excelled at was math. I was one of those chess playing super saiyans. But after the first surgery my best subject in school had become trying to keep up with any of them at all. I eventually fell into Special Needs Education after I had become a ward of the state in high school. After the second one though I had suddenly become highly linguistic in the art conversation and my command of the English language had come to an implicitly high regard acknowledged by many individuals, groups, and governments.. anyway that point I'm getting at is I can see where his head's at which is way I had reached out to him and offered him my home for any length of time he needed. I understand his hardship more so then I've probably let on about too much already with what I've already said here. In closing to this out of nowhere deep ass prose I've just Swyped together from my tablet is he needs to realize that he IS strong enough for this path he's been treading. Once he does, his days become brighter with or without whatever his illness is getting better or not. It's about accepting your inevitable situation and the ability to be at peace with it.

 

Words cannot express how thankful I am to know good people like yourselves. I am a very kind-hearted person. I do not wish ill upon anyone, not even my worst enemies. I've never liked confrontation, it takes far more energy to hate someone than it does to love them. Love comes naturally, hate does not. I have always been proud to be a helping man. The world is amazing, confusing, breathtaking, heart-stopping and one hell of a rollercoaster ride. But despite the odds being stacked against me I have always made it a priority to put others before myself. If I can help, I will without hesitation. It makes me smile inside and out, knowing that there are still others like me out there. I don't think there are words that are profound and endearing enough for me to properly express how immensely and infinitely grateful I am to both you, as well as all others who have donated to my cause and also to those who have provided kind words, links to helpful resources/articles, prayers, moral support and everything else. If it weren't for you wonderful folks, I think I would have given up before I ever announced the bad news. You are all in my heart, on my mind, and in my prayers. I hope I can beat this ugly cancer because you have all been so great to me and I would love to be able to spend many more years here with you.

 

Until I can manage to provide another update, I will be strong and stubborn. I'm not dead yet so this guy ain't giving up!

[nIGHT]

 

 

[-=[4lfre1re]=-]

I have not seeing this post until now... I knew you had a difficult economic situation, but I did not know you were ill... I'm so sorry, my friend, I'll try to help you trough PayPal again...

A great hug and my best wishes...

 

p.s.: thanks to all members who posted in this post...

[HandyPAF]

Hello all,

 

I am still alive, despite the odds being forever against me. My situation hasn't changed much. I'm still homeless but I did find an abandoned vehicle to use for shelter. It has been warm here for the last week or two. Temperatures average around 85 degrees Fahrenheit which would be tolerable if it weren't for the damned humidity. I've had to purchase a lot of water bottles so I can remain hydrated.

 

I had some issues with my phone but a local repair shop was able to fix it for a reasonable price. The screen is still cracked but I've gotten used to it. In the past week, I've had 2 or 3 elderly women approach me outside of the local Walmart. They didn't provide any tangible assistance but they did say some nice words and let me know that they would pray for me. I spent over an hour with one of the women, pretty much gave her my life story but couldn't finish because she started crying and gave me a long hug.

 

My sister is too busy with her bakery, she owns and operates it all by herself, packaging handmade custom-designed cookies. Her husband was sent back to active duty for the U.S. Army so he can't help me. I asked my sister to contact our brother and see if he would be able to do anything. She did, and quoted him saying some pretty harsh things. I do not understand why he doesn't care. We all had a very traumatic childhood and I seem to be the only one suffering from a traumatic adulthood as well. I think he is unable to care because no one ever cared for us when we were growing up so he became self-sufficient and unapologetic.

 

Been walking around this town for so long I feel like I could draw a map of it. I've sat outside of many different businesses. Grocery stores, fast food restaurants, bars, gyms, churches, the hospital, you name it I've spent half a day there or more. Some people are kind enough to acknowledge my presence and some give me any spare change that they may have. I've been given a lot of coupons as well but I can't use them at the stores so I burn them at night to keep the mosquitos away.

 

All totaled up I think I've got close to $600 saved up. Another 2 months and I should be all set to rent an apartment or house or whatever. I've been very economical - my meals are meager and I refuse to buy anything that isn't an absolute necessity. I can't afford to be wasteful or spendthrifty. My methods have worked so far. Still not taking any medication. Doctors seem to think I can afford $400 a month on 2 bottles of medication and he's wrong. But I think he realized that now, since I haven't refilled my script in awhile.

 

I will continue to keep you updated as best as I can. I was never a good writer so I am sorry if my updates are scatterbrained or unorganized. The screen on my phone is not very large so I can only see a small portion of what I have typed at any given time. If I repeated anything that I already said in my last update, that is why. 

 

Regards,

PocketAppZ / HandyPAF