HandyPAF Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 Hello all, I am sad to say that I am no longer creating .paf portables. I won't be contributing to the forum anymore, either. I was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer. It is in several organs and is inoperable. I refuse to undergo chemotherapy because it will only prolong my suffering. With so many "bad luck" situations in my life, this diagnosis comes as no surprise. I have less than a year to live but less than 6 months is more realistic. I wanted to say thank you to everyone who has helped and supported me. I will check the forum daily to look at things but I won't be posting. I have nowhere to live so I have been occupying a 24/7 Walmart that was close to where I once lived. That is why I will only be browsing. It is not easy to find somewhere to charge this phone I am using. Take care of yourselves and be good to one another. This is a community and we must all work together if we hope to achieve anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BioHazard Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 I am praying that you have the strength and the peace to get you though your illness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BALTAGY Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 Very sad to read this, i hope you will be good, i hope you don't suffer, i hope doctors be wrong! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karamjit Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 i didn't expect it.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skunk1966 Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 only one word comes to mind: DAMN!!! I'm hoping you find a way to beat this monster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vissha Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 Very sad to hear this news for all nsaners... @HandyPAF I recently started to read your posts in full and it is a shock.... From my experience with most people with cancer/any other critical illness: It is completely true that mostly good people who are not worth the disease/illness gets it and most of those who are worth it are living happy. This is the only major thing I hate from Nature. I wish you live the remaining period happiest ever in your life! Update: I'm sorry about you loss and my deepest condolences. I wish you get your remaining family(bro & sis) together soon and you'll be happy when you leave the evil earth to safe zone heaven. Update: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dMog Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 news like this must be devastating to your family... hope you are able to live your life on your terms and no other words but live out to end on your terms too. It seems you may have already decided to do this on you own terms...I hope the best for you and your family in this short time you have and also that all your loved ones come to understand something about life in this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trufpal Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 Oh, God. I don't know what to say. We only can give support and our pray to you. I hope the diagnose was wrong and you'll recover. Also, fuck cancer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HandyPAF Posted April 24, 2017 Author Share Posted April 24, 2017 Thank you for the well wishes and encouraging words. I'm fairly certain that cancer is not hereditary but every member of my family who has passed away in the last 3 generations, all have been caused by some form of cancer. My father passed away in 2010. He had cancer in his liver, kidney, pancreas, lungs and blood. My mother has lung, liver and brain cancer. I have no family left, other than a brother who hasn't spoken to me in a long time and a sister who has been too busy with her own life and has no concern about my wellbeing. I am doing all I can to fight this, to get better, but my Multiple Sclerosis does not make it easy for me. Not sure what I will do about shelter. I will find out where the closest one is and try walking there tomorrow or the day after if I feel up to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ARMOUR Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 Very sad to hear this. everyone here misses your valuable contributions. may you be blessed with good health and a quick recovery. i hope you can survive the cancer and you will be back to here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudrax Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 Life has many surprises my friend and they comes in both good and bad flavors. But the one you had is the ultimate worst one which couldn't be any worse. I feel for you buddy. People go through tough times in their lives and they can go through them because they know once it is gonna be over. But in your case it is not like that as there is no hope for getting things better with time. It made me more emotional to hear that you have no family near you in this tough time and you have to live the few last days of your life stranded. Hell itself won't be any worse. I urge in this nsane community - if any nsane user lives near him, please visit him and make him feel that he has friends that care for him. Do what you want and live freely. Forget that the end is near. If you want, you can upload a picture of you here to help us remember you and your memories. Farewell buddy, we will see you in the other side one day! @HandyPAF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edgar.Elooo Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 Very sad to hear this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
info999 Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 OMG, life is so fragile & short, you will never what will happen the next moment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jtmulc Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 I am so sorry to hear this. Is there anything we can do to make you more comfortable? Walmart does Moneygram and it's easy to list a 3rd party to pickup an online order there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snf Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 Verry sad news. Courage HandyPaf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HandyPAF Posted April 24, 2017 Author Share Posted April 24, 2017 There isn't much that anyone can do. I will not give up, I never have before and I won't start now. @rudrax I live in Nebraska in the United States. I'm not in the town I was living in before (Grand Island) but I am about 10 miles from it. I walked here looking for someone I once knew but I found out that he passed away shortly after I lost contact with him in 2006. @jtmulc To be honest, I don't even know how a moneygram works. The only bank account I have is the one I was given by the U.S. Government so that they could deposit my disability check into that account. But the account does not allow me to make any other deposits. I tried to transfer a PayPal donation to the account but the government would not provide the routing number. I wish I had a real life friend or family that cared. I was devastated when the doctor told me the bad news. But that pain was nothing compared to the utter loneliness that I felt when I realized I have no one to catch me when I fall. I know I have the support of all you Nsaners and I really do appreciate it! I must be going. It is 1:40am and I have to walk back to the town I came from. There is a truck stop there and I'm hoping I can use their shower. I haven't been able to take one for a few days. Once again, thank you everyone for the kind words and hopeful attitudes. I will stay optimistic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trufpal Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 6 minutes ago, HandyPAF said: There isn't much that anyone can do. I will not give up, I never have before and I won't start now. @rudrax I live in Nebraska in the United States. I'm not in the town I was living in before (Grand Island) but I am about 10 miles from it. I walked here looking for someone I once knew but I found out that he passed away shortly after I lost contact with him in 2006. @jtmulc To be honest, I don't even know how a moneygram works. The only bank account I have is the one I was given by the U.S. Government so that they could deposit my disability check into that account. But the account does not allow me to make any other deposits. I tried to transfer a PayPal donation to the account but the government would not provide the routing number. I wish I had a real life friend or family that cared. I was devastated when the doctor told me the bad news. But that pain was nothing compared to the utter loneliness that I felt when I realized I have no one to catch me when I fall. I know I have the support of all you Nsaners and I really do appreciate it! I must be going. It is 1:40am and I have to walk back to the town I came from. There is a truck stop there and I'm hoping I can use their shower. I haven't been able to take one for a few days. Once again, thank you everyone for the kind words and hopeful attitudes. I will stay optimistic. It looks like cancer isn't your only problems you are facing at the moment. My heart aching only by imagining what you've been through. I wish i could give you a warm hug. But i live continents apart from you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vitorio Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 Hope some one can help you. Do not lost faith, the Lord works in misteriously ways!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WALLONN7 Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 Resist and keep living!!! Not for us, not for anything... But yourself!!! You're the only that matters ever!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vitorio Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 Link: http://www.homelessshelterdirectory.org/cgi-bin/id/city.cgi?city=Grand Island&state=NE Grand Island Homeless Shelters & Services For The Needy Welcome to our Grand Island, Nebraska Homeless Shelters and Services for the needy page. Below are all of the homeless shelters and services for the needy that provide help to those in need for Grand Island, NE and surrounding cities. HELP US HELP YOU Tell us what type of assistance you are looking for. Help For Children and Single Mothers Low Income Housing Help Unemployment Help Food Assistance Medical Assistance Shelter Electric Bill Assistance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sylence Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 We all one day come to this world and one day must go from it, the important thing is what we do in this temporary world.. now don't lose hope, if chemical therapy is a way to go then don't think it's only gonna extend your suffering. if there is Any thing that can be done then do it so that you will be confident that you've done everything you could've done and tried your best at least, don't miss any chances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taiyuntao Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 very sad news, wish you beat this monster and back here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
straycat19 Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 I am very sorry to hear this. Too many good people getting cancer these days. Maybe the industrial revolution was really the beginning of the end for the human race and we have brought things to this world that are killing us. Just two weeks ago a friends daughter, who is 14, went to the dentist for what was believed to be a molar problem. She has bone cancer in her jaw and is undergoing intensive chemotherapy in the hospital then will face surgery having a portion of her jaw removed. Her cousin had cancer at age 5 and beat it only to have the cure destroy her heart. Last year, at age 12, she had to have a heart transplant. Take whatever assistance you can get in your area to make your life as pleasant as possible. I'm not a very religious man but I will say a prayer for you. I haven't asked God for much in my life so maybe he will let me ask for help for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kasper Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 Someone gets better in my life worse card I know what I'm talking about One of the specialties Forces motto I'm interested in is Dum spiro spero What about Mayo Clinic, etc? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Togijak Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 sounds like you cant accept your situation to good but you cant do anything against it = that is life | I would be glad if I could say I have less than a year to live but less than 6 months is more realistic | I wish you the strength to leave the world with your head raised Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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