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[JOTD] Joke of the day


rudrax

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You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed.
On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you.
Directly in front of you is another galloping horse but your horse is unable to overtake it.
Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round!

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On Wednesday, May 18, 2016 at 2:50 PM, rudrax said:

The benefit of having a government job in India


 

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Then I won't be able to get a wife at-all, I am jobless. :blink::tooth:
 

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@Jogs the idea in the pics implies that people having a Govt. Job in India can get beautiful girls to marry even if they look ugly. That's the point. 

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10 hours ago, rudrax said:

@Jogs the idea in the pics implies that people having a Govt. Job in India can get beautiful girls to marry even if they look ugly. That's the point. 

I know that, thats Why i Said i Am jobless

10 hours ago, rudrax said:

@Jogs the idea in the pics implies that people having a Govt. Job in India can get beautiful girls to marry even if they look ugly. That's the point. 

I know that, thats Why i Said i Am jobless

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Quote

A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas."

Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."

 

Quote

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter.

The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

 

Quote

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

 

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Meanwhile in india: 

 

IMG_20160526_WA0005.jpg

 

 

Why should boys have all the fun! 

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On terça-feira, 24 de maio de 2016 at 1:51 PM, Jogs said:

Then I won't be able to get a wife at-all, I am jobless. :blink::tooth:

Plenty of time on your hands to be her lover, then ....

;)

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A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying.

A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!”

 

:D:hehe:

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NorthEastKnight

The reason old man use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It's because old women are so bloody ugly.

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NorthEastKnight

The first guy who persuaded a blind person they needed sunglasses, he must have been a hell of a salesman.

I once bought a book for my girlfriend called ‘Women who love too much’ ; I think the title could have been shortened, to just ‘Sluts’ !

 

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NorthEastKnight

When I’m with two women it’s difficult enough to get a word in edgeways, let alone my cock.

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A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention,

so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?"

Johnny says, "None."

The teacher asks, "Why?"

Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off."

The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking."

Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?"

The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream."

Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"

 

:D

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White people don't shoot each other in the streets like black people do...
We shoot each other in schools, because we have class.

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