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[JOTD] Joke of the day


rudrax

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Rastus_BoJangles_Johnson
On 4/17/2016 at 1:47 AM, Archimede said:

Am I missing something?

yes the jokes, I see alot of pictures but few jokes. Is this topic not called joke of the day? Some weird pics but that does not make a joke, jokes have whats called a punch line. Pics are off-topic here so technically they are spam. Just sayin' :)

 

btw...a joke:
A city slicker shoots a duck out in the country. As he's retrieving it, a farmer walks up and stops him, claiming that since the duck is on his farm, it technically belongs to him. After minutes of arguing, the farmer proposes they settle the matter "country style."
"What's country style?" asks the city boy.
"Out here in the country," the farmer says, "when two fellers have a dispute, one feller kicks the other one in the balls as hard as he can. Then that feller, he kicks the first one as hard as he can. And so forth. Last man standin' wins the dispute."
Warily the city boy agrees and prepares himself. The farmer hauls off and kicks him in the groin with all his might. The city boy falls to the ground in the most intense pain he's ever felt, crying like a baby and coughing up blood. Finally he staggers to his feet and says, "All right, n-now it's–it's m-my turn."
The farmer grins. "Aw, hell, you win. Keep the duck."

Read more on page: http://www.jokesoftheday.net/

 

Edited by Rastus_BoJangles_Johnson
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George Carr, 71, school of computer science for retirees. First day :

- Windows 10 : Please create or enter login password

- George: carrot

- Windows 10 : I'm sorry. The password must contain at least 8 characters

- George : big carrot

- Windows 10 : I'm sorry. The password cannot contain spaces

- George : bigcarrot

- Windows 10 : I'm sorry. The password must contain at least one number

- George : 1bigcarrot

- Windows 10 : I'm sorry. The password must contain at least 3 uppercase

- George : 1fuckingBIGcarrot

-Windows 10 : I'm sorry. The password cannot contain consecutive uppercase

- George : 1MotherFuckingBigCarrot!

- Windows 10 : I'm sorry. The password cannot contain punctuations

- George : 1MotherFuckingBigCarrotThatYouCanStickUpYourAss

- Windows 10 : I'm sorry. Password already in use

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@AP1972, please do not take this as a negative comment but the pics that you are posting are not exactly joke of the day like thing. They might be just a joke but here we post jokes with a laughing punch. Please try to stick with the initial motive. Otherwise you are doing great job. 

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Boy: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs.
Boy: What! Do they swell?
Girl: No. They spread. 

 

:lmao:

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In space, two aliens are talking to each other
The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."
The second alien asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"
The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have aimed at themselves"

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5739f488e4095_E85C9CFFE5DBABE4456949955D

 

5 hours ago, Timeover said:

In space, two aliens are talking to each other
The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."
The second alien asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"
The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have aimed at themselves"

 

Because humans damn know that there is nothing scarier and deadlier than humans themselves, now that's a fact

Edited by saeed_dc
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 My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex.
I was sore and bruised at the end, but at least my dad came.
 

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The benefit of having a government job in India

 

13244844_1189239881095649_68393239313435

13256252_1189239884428982_91827850357885

13269275_1189239987762305_48569981978117

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1 minute ago, rudrax said:

The benefit of having a government job in India

 

13244844_1189239881095649_68393239313435

13256252_1189239884428982_91827850357885

13269275_1189239987762305_48569981978117

 

Is this in the wrong section?  I see nothing funny about it? Where is the joke?

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22 minutes ago, Chancer said:

 

Is this in the wrong section?  I see nothing funny about it? Where is the joke?

Those pics themselves are the joke. The guys are having government jobs use to find beautiful girls to marry. This happens in India. Without government jobs guys with those looks won't even get a chance to talk those kind of girls in the pics. So it is the power of a government job that makes it happen. And that a joke. 

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23 minutes ago, rudrax said:

Those pics themselves are the joke. The guys are having government jobs use to find beautiful girls to marry. This happens in India. Without government jobs guys with those looks won't even get a chance to talk those kind of girls in the pics. So it is the power of a government job that makes it happen. And that a joke. 

It would seem we have a very different sense of humour. I see that as a political statement, not humour.

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1 hour ago, Chancer said:

It would seem we have a very different sense of humour. I see that as a political statement, not humour.

There could be humor in politics too. One just needs to have the correct point of view to find that out. 

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A man enters a store and says: "15 litres of wine please." "Did you bring a container for this?" "You're speaking to it."

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54 minutes ago, rudrax said:

There could be humor in politics too. One just needs to have the correct point of view to find that out. 

With such a smart answer you deserve to have yourself both a government job and a gorgeous looking wife, bro :D

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12 minutes ago, Archimede said:

With such a smart answer you deserve to have yourself both a government job and a gorgeous looking wife, bro :D

Bro, gorgeous is not linked with physicality. She is gorgeous whom you love.

Now tell me, will you leave your love of life for your favorite actress?

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4 hours ago, rudrax said:

Bro, gorgeous is not linked with physicality. She is gorgeous whom you love.

Now tell me, will you leave your love of life for your favorite actress?

 

I totally agree with you, bro.

 

However what I said above does not imply that you don't love your gorgeous looking wife... Now let's stop playing with semantics or else we'll both get kicked out of the joke of the day thread ;)

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