johnse7en Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.Moral of the story:1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!!!"Budda hoga taira baap" Am I right? Deti 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator DKT27 Posted June 2, 2013 Administrator Share Posted June 2, 2013 "Budda hoga taira baap" Am I right?Ah, indeed. :)Still, I believe the joke is older than that. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrioNeXus Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.Moral of the story:1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!!!"Budda hoga taira baap" Am I right?Right no one can escape that , Jokes never die ;) :tease: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
implague Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 Always remember in life that when no one is with you. And when all the doors are closed around you... . . .. ... It's time to watch PORN! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LazyPotato Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 Always remember in life that when no one is with you. And when all the doors are closed around you..........It's time to watch PORN!Lovely! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudrax Posted June 3, 2013 Author Share Posted June 3, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnse7en Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudrax Posted June 4, 2013 Author Share Posted June 4, 2013 (edited) In a hot sunny day Fl0ppy was walking through some street in Iranian desert. He felt thirsty and walked to a house nearby and asked for a glass of water.A boy named butt-boy came out and told,Butt-boy - "There is no water in the house. Will you like to some mango juice, instead?"Fl0ppy - "Yes, of-course (filling his mouth with saliva)"Fl0ppy drank 5 glasses of juice back to back and asked butt-boy,Fl0ppy - Don't anyone in your house like juice?Butt-boy - Of-course they do but today a lizard fell and died in the juice so no one is drinking it.Hearing this the glass fall from fl0ppy's hand and broke. Butt-boy rushed inside crying and told his momy that fl0ppy broke the glass and now on, in which glass Tomy will drink its water! Edited June 4, 2013 by rudrax Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kn_andre Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 There's this blonde who gets on a plane and sits in the first available seat. The flight attendant is coming around checking tickets. She looks at the blonde woman's ticket and tells the blonde; "ma'am you can't sit here, your ticket says coach and this is first class. please move to the back of the plane" The blonde replies "I'm a blonde, I'm smart and have a good job. I'm not moving until the plane arrives in Jamaica" So the flight attendant, now hot under the collar at the blonde's response, goes to another flight attendant and tells him what happened. so he goes up to her and asks her to move to the back of the plane. She then responds "I'm a blonde, I'm smart and have a good job. I'm not moving until the plane arrives in Jamaica". So the two flight attendants are steaming mad and they go to the co-pilot and tells him what is going on. He comes back to where the blonde is sitting and leans over and whispers something in her ear. The two flight attendants were astonished when the blonde abruptly got up from her seat and moved to the back of the plane. They looked at each other and then the co-pilot and asked him what he told her. The co-pilot, feeling good about himself told them "oh, this happened a while back with someone else. I just simply told the woman that people sitting on the front half of the plane wasn't going to Jamaica - Its Only the people who are sitting at the Back side of the Plane who are going to Jamaica " :) :) :) :) :D :D :D :D :P . Deti 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davhag Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 (edited) :lol: Edited June 7, 2013 by davhag Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tezza Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.” :wtf: :o :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davhag Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 (edited) :) Edited June 7, 2013 by davhag Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davhag Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 (edited) :) Edited June 7, 2013 by davhag Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kn_andre Posted June 6, 2013 Share Posted June 6, 2013 AbstinenceThree couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went.The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed.Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint."Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister."Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over."The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church."That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either." @davhag :o :o :o :o :o :o :o ,,,,,, This is very funny indeed ...... LoL .... :D :D :D :D :D :D :D ... Cheers and have a Nice day .... Deti 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kn_andre Posted June 6, 2013 Share Posted June 6, 2013 Hard Lesson A Son asked his Father a Question : Dad, what is the Difference between Confident and Confidential ? Hmmmmmmm...... Grunted his Father and then he Answered : You are my Real Son and of that fact i am Confident ... Your Close Friend Thompson is also my Son - But That's Very Confidential ...... ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) :) :) :) Cheers Everybody ...... Deti 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudrax Posted June 7, 2013 Author Share Posted June 7, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davhag Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 (edited) :) Edited June 7, 2013 by davhag Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davhag Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 (edited) http://www.metacafe.com/watch/hl-40042083/saturday_night_live_the_continental_season_18/ Edited June 7, 2013 by davhag Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davhag Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 (edited) :lol: Edited June 7, 2013 by davhag Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davhag Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davhag Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Redneck Windows. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davhag Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrioNeXus Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 One day, an old lady went to the Bank of Canada with a large bag full of money. The old lady insisted on speaking to the president of the Bank in order to open a savings account because, she said, she had a lot of money. After much discussion an employee took her to the office of the president.The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She said $165,000. Curious, he asked her how she had saved such a large sum of money. The old lady said she made bets. The president, quite surprised, asked: “Which kind of bets?”The old lady said: “For example, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square”.The president started to laugh and pointed out that this kind of bet was impossible to win!The old lady replied: “Would you like to make a bet?”“Certainly”, answered the president, “I can guarantee you that my testicles are not square”.The old lady said to him: “Given the size of the bet, I’ll come back tomorrow at 10am with my lawyer as a witness, if it’s alright with you”.“No problem” said the president.That evening, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of his mirror examining his testicles, turning them in all directions, again and again, in order to make sure that his testicles could not be seen as square and therefore be sure to win this bet.On the next day, 10am sharp, the old lady arrived with her lawyer at the office of the president. The president then dropped his trousers so that she and her lawyer could see everything.The old lady came closer and asked him if she could touch them. “Of course please do!” said the president, given the fact that there was so much money involved, “you must be 100% sure.” The lady, smiling, started to do so. The president looked up to see the lawyer banging his head against the wall.He asked the old lady “What is he doing?”She answered: “It’s probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10am today, I would be holding the testicles of the president of the Bank of Canada in my hands!”Crafty old woman!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kn_andre Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 One day, an old lady went to the Bank of Canada with a large bag full of money. The old lady insisted on speaking to the president of the Bank in order to open a savings account because, she said, she had a lot of money. After much discussion an employee took her to the office of the president.The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She said $165,000. Curious, he asked her how she had saved such a large sum of money. The old lady said she made bets. The president, quite surprised, asked: “Which kind of bets?”The old lady said: “For example, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square”.The president started to laugh and pointed out that this kind of bet was impossible to win!The old lady replied: “Would you like to make a bet?”“Certainly”, answered the president, “I can guarantee you that my testicles are not square”.The old lady said to him: “Given the size of the bet, I’ll come back tomorrow at 10am with my lawyer as a witness, if it’s alright with you”.“No problem” said the president.That evening, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of his mirror examining his testicles, turning them in all directions, again and again, in order to make sure that his testicles could not be seen as square and therefore be sure to win this bet.On the next day, 10am sharp, the old lady arrived with her lawyer at the office of the president. The president then dropped his trousers so that she and her lawyer could see everything.The old lady came closer and asked him if she could touch them. “Of course please do!” said the president, given the fact that there was so much money involved, “you must be 100% sure.” The lady, smiling, started to do so. The president looked up to see the lawyer banging his head against the wall.He asked the old lady “What is he doing?”She answered: “It’s probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10am today, I would be holding the testicles of the president of the Bank of Canada in my hands!”Crafty old woman!!! Oh Blimey .................... This is absolutely Hilarious ..... I sure hope i can Top this Asap ..Hehehehehe :) :) :) ... Have a Nice Day ... Cheers.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kn_andre Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 (edited) Family Responsibility A prospective Son-In-Law was asked by his Fiancee's Father : 'Son, are you able to support a Family ?' :huh: :huh: :huh: :huh: 'Well, No, sir,' he replied :unsure: :unsure: :unsure: :unsure: . 'I was just Planning to support your Daughter.The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves.' :s :s :s :s !!!! Cheers.......... :P :P :P :D :D :D Edited June 7, 2013 by kn_andre Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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