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[JOTD] Joke of the day


rudrax

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my mom had a pic of my dad in her wallet like this

3bcny5lu58m91.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&a

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I sent my photo to a lonely hearts club ??
They sent it back stating , they’re not that fooking lonely !!!.

 

 

My pet name for the wife is Euromillions ?.
Whenever I’m hoping to be lucky all I get is a rollover !!!

Edited by Disco Bob
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Boss: What is your address?
Me: 173.165.18.10

 

Boss: No, your local address !!!
Me: 127.0.0.1

 

Boss: I mean your physical address !!!!
Me: 29:01:38:6F:31:58

 

Boss: No, I mean your home address !!!!
Me: /home/flash13

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A one day ban is way too generous

jk8drjtfepm91.jpg

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On 9/8/2022 at 1:25 PM, flash13 said:

Boss: What is your address?
Me: 173.165.18.10

 

Boss: No, your local address !!!
Me: 127.0.01

 

Boss: I mean your physical address !!!!
Me: 29:01:38:6F:31:58

 

Boss: No, I mean your home address !!!!
Me: /home/flash13

127.0.0.1

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Larry's barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company.

Susan told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money."


The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of comparable worth."


There was a long pause before Susan replied, "Then I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband."
 

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A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera.

He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding.

Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.

Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed.

He tried a fourth time with the same result.

He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace.

Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt..

 
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A man was crossing the Canada-Us border several times a day with a wheelbarrow filled with dirt.

And each time the border guard searched the wheelbarrow, firmly convinced the man was smuggling something.

This went on for 10 yrs until the border guard retired.

The last day the guard begged the man to tell him what he was smuggling all these years and promised not to tell since he was retiring.

"I was smuggling wheelbarrows" was the answer.

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22 hours ago, flash13 said:

Did you know that 10+10 and 11+11 are the same
10+10=20 11+11=22

I had to think about that one...then the penny dropped and I got it.:clap::clap::clap: lol

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After Friday prayers an Imam announced to the people: "I have good news and bad news.

 

The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program.

 

The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."
 

Edited by aum
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