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[JOTD] Joke of the day


rudrax

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I could never get good WiFi on my farm.
So I moved the router to the barn and I now have a stable connection.

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Login Page: Please enter your new password.

 

USER: cabbage

 

Login Page: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

 

USER: boiled cabbage

 

Login Page: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.

 

USER: 1 boiled cabbage

 

Login Page: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.

 

USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages

 

Login Page: Sorry, the password must contain at least one uppercase character.

 

USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages

 

Login Page: Sorry, the password cannot contain more than one word with an uppercase character consecutively.

 

USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesYouStupidIdiotGiveMeAccessNow!

 

Login Page: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

 

USER : IWillHuntYouDown50BloodyBoiledCabbagesYouStupidIdiotGiveMeAccessNow

 

Login Page: Sorry, that password is already in use.

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A lawyer, sitting next to blonde on a long flight, was pestering her to play a game 'I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me, and vice-versa.'

 

The blonde politely declined and tried to get some sleep.

 

The lawyer made another offer: 'Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, but if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $1000' The blonde agreed.

 

The lawyer asked the first question. 'What's the distance from the earth to the moon?'

 

The blonde silently reached into her purse, pulled out a five-dollar bill, and handed it to the lawyer.

 

Then she asked the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?' And went back to sleep

 

The lawyer did research on his iPhone, called his buddies etc, all to no avail. After over an hour, he gave up. He woke the blonde up and handed her $1000 and asked 'Well, so what is the answer?'

 

Again, without a word, the blonde reached into her purse, handed the lawyer $5, and went back to sleep. 

 

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Junior had just received his brand new drivers license. The family trooped out to the driveway, and climbed into the car, where he was about to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately headed for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver.

 

"I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," said the beaming boy to the ol' man.

 

"Nope," came dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years." 

 

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My boss made me go into the office on Labor Day. Halfway through the day, he came in to check up on me and caught me having a beer.


He said to me, "You can't drink while you're working."


I said, "Oh, don't worry - I'm not working."

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