Karlston Posted November 18, 2022 Share Posted November 18, 2022 Saw this at a bottle shop in Australia (Click on the image to read the sign's text) Disco Bob, aum, funkyy and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted November 19, 2022 Share Posted November 19, 2022 Don’t use a big word when a singularly unloquacious and diminutive linguistic expression will satisfactorily accomplish the contemporary necessity. funkyy, aum and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pc71520 Posted November 19, 2022 Share Posted November 19, 2022 A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer. ‘ This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it you.’ The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, ‘Which do you want, son?’ The boy takes the quarters and leaves. ‘What did I tell you?’ said the barber. ‘That kid never learns!’ Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. ‘Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?’ The boy licked his cone and replied, ‘Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!’ funkyy, TrojanK, ducky88 and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted November 19, 2022 Share Posted November 19, 2022 Sign in the men's room at my local brewpub. ducky88, funkyy, kyber and 3 others 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 19, 2022 Share Posted November 19, 2022 The Priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night. Whispering firmly, the Priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of him!" The dying man said nothing. The priest repeated his order. Still the man said nothing. The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?" The dying man said, "Until I know for sure where I'm heading, I don't think I ought to aggravate anybody." pc71520, Karlston, ducky88 and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pc71520 Posted November 20, 2022 Share Posted November 20, 2022 A Woman walked into the Kitchen to find her Husband stalking around with a Fly Swatter. “What are you doing?”, she asked. “Hunting Flies”, he responded. Killing anyone?”, she asked. “Yep, Three (3) Males and Two (2) Females”, he replied. Intrigued, she asked: “How can you tell?” The husband replied: “The Three (3) flies were on a Beer Can while the other Two (2) ones were on the Phone.” ducky88 and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 20, 2022 Share Posted November 20, 2022 After he died, I couldn't even look at another man for almost 20 years. But now that I'm out of prison, I can honestly say it was worth it. ducky88, pc71520, TrojanK and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted November 20, 2022 Share Posted November 20, 2022 Came from work to see my girlfriend has updated our letter board funkyy, aum, kyber and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted November 20, 2022 Share Posted November 20, 2022 Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed! A - Almost Boobs... B - Barely there. C - Can't Complain! D - Dang! DD - Double dang! E - Enormous! F - Fake G - Get a Reduction.. H - Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up ! funkyy, kyber, pc71520 and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pc71520 Posted November 21, 2022 Share Posted November 21, 2022 What did the Daddy Volcano say to his Son? I lava you. ducky88 and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 21, 2022 Share Posted November 21, 2022 I just want you to know that if I win the Powerball lottery tonight, it won't change me. It will change my home and mailing address, phone number, my email address... Karlston and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 21, 2022 Share Posted November 21, 2022 A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Mr.Smith. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Mr. Smith asked: "What is the usual tip?" "Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great." "Is that so?" snorted Mr. Smith. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars." "Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund." "What are you studying in school?" asked Larry. The lad smiled and said: "Applied psychology." funkyy, Karlston and ducky88 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted November 21, 2022 Share Posted November 21, 2022 ZZ Stop pc71520, ducky88, funkyy and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pc71520 Posted November 22, 2022 Share Posted November 22, 2022 Why did the Photo go to Jail? Because, it was...Framed... ducky88 and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 22, 2022 Share Posted November 22, 2022 A man goes to a Unitarian Universalist service for the first time, and later is asked what he thought of it. "Darndest church I ever went to," he replies. "The only time I heard the name of Jesus Christ was when the janitor fell down the stairs!" pc71520 and ducky88 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted November 23, 2022 Share Posted November 23, 2022 The drill sergeant making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a training camp, stated: "Today, gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. First, the good news Private Peters will be setting the pace on our morning run. With this the platoon was overjoyed, as Private Peters was overweight and terribly slow... ...but then the drill sergeant finished his statement: "Now for the bad news. Private Peters will be driving a truck". Karlston, pc71520 and aum 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pc71520 Posted November 23, 2022 Share Posted November 23, 2022 Why are Toilets so Clean at Poker? Because, they get a Flush! ducky88 and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 23, 2022 Share Posted November 23, 2022 After my husband and I had a huge argument, we ended up not talking to each other for days. Finally, on the third day, he asked where one of his shirts was. "Oh," I said, "So now you're speaking to me." He looked confused, "What are you talking about?" "Haven't you noticed I haven't spoken to you for three days?" I challenged. "No," he said, "I just thought we were getting along." ducky88, Karlston and kaloo1995 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 23, 2022 Share Posted November 23, 2022 Karlston, ducky88 and funkyy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 23, 2022 Share Posted November 23, 2022 (edited) Edited November 23, 2022 by aum funkyy, Karlston, ducky88 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 23, 2022 Share Posted November 23, 2022 (edited) Edited November 23, 2022 by aum ducky88, Karlston and funkyy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 23, 2022 Share Posted November 23, 2022 funkyy, Karlston and ducky88 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 23, 2022 Share Posted November 23, 2022 (edited) Edited November 23, 2022 by aum Karlston, ducky88 and funkyy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted November 23, 2022 Share Posted November 23, 2022 Karlston, ducky88 and funkyy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted November 23, 2022 Share Posted November 23, 2022 What am I supposed to do with a $25 gift certificate to a car dealership? Buy 1/1000 of a car? ducky88, pc71520, aum and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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