Volcomuser Posted May 31, 2021 Share Posted May 31, 2021 PLASMA, Karlston, aum and 2 others 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted May 31, 2021 Share Posted May 31, 2021 ducky88, aum and Volcomuser 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted May 31, 2021 Share Posted May 31, 2021 A group of bats, hanging at the ceiling of a cave, discovers a single bat standing upright underneath on the floor of the cave. Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask this fellow: "What the heck are you doing down there?" And the fellow shouts back: "Yoga!" ducky88, Volcomuser, funkyy and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 1, 2021 Share Posted June 1, 2021 An elderly woman in her nineties had a visitor from her church come to see her at the nursing home. “How are you?” the visitor asked. “Oh,” said the elderly woman, “I’m just worried sick!” “You look like you’re in good health. They take good care of you here, don’t they?” “Oh, yes, they take good care of me here.” “Do you have any pain?” the visitor asked. “No, I can’t say I do,” the elderly woman replied. “Then what has you worried sick?” the visitor asked. The elderly woman leaned in and explained, “All of my closest friends have already died and gone to heaven. I’m sure they are all wondering where I went!” Krinal, ducky88, Karlston and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted June 1, 2021 Share Posted June 1, 2021 I was once kidnapped by a gang of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me. funkyy, leapinlizards, Krinal and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krinal Posted June 2, 2021 Share Posted June 2, 2021 A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa . 'The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?' After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, ‘Wedding Cake.' ducky88 and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post PLASMA Posted June 2, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted June 2, 2021 TrojanK, Volcomuser, haris_sane69 and 6 others 2 6 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 2, 2021 Share Posted June 2, 2021 A man put his car in reverse and accidentally drove it into a wall. He took it to his mechanic, who replaced the dented bumper. A few days later, he actually did it again. "I'm so embarrassed," he moaned to his wife while he reached for the phone. "Why not tell him it was me this time?" his wife suggested. "I could," he said while dialing, "but that's what I told him last time." ducky88, Karlston and TrojanK 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 2, 2021 Share Posted June 2, 2021 I went to see my doctor this morning. “Some one decided to graffiti my house last night!” I raged. “So why are you telling me?” the doctor asked. “I can't understand the writing,” I replied. “Was it you?” ducky88, ultrahub and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 2, 2021 Share Posted June 2, 2021 An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor. "So, what is it?" grumbled the governor. "Judge Garber has just died" said the attorney, "and I want to take his place." The governor replied: "Well, it's OK with me if it's OK with the undertaker." Karlston, andy2004 and ducky88 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rainmaker Posted June 2, 2021 Share Posted June 2, 2021 Guy getting gas, what could go wrong? https://imgur.com/gallery/d1udaMs // R Karlston and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted June 2, 2021 Share Posted June 2, 2021 If you're here for the yodelling lesson.... ....please form an orderly, orderly, orderly, orderly queue. aum and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 I believe the right girl for me is out there, in some corner of the earth... But unfortunately, the earth is round. funkyy, Karlston, Archimede and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funkyy Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 On 30/05/2021 at 1:57 AM, Matt said: Use right click and pick copy image link in order the image to be embed and show on the forums, so member doesn't need to go to other website to open the image. Thanks Matt...I have been doing my nut in trying to figure out how people were able to post images. I was always posting imgur links...now I know how to do it correctly!! Every day's a school day!! aum, Matt, Karlston and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 Whenever my wife is upset I let her colour in my black and white tattoos. She just really needs a shoulder to crayon. aum and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Blythe™ Posted June 4, 2021 Share Posted June 4, 2021 They say practice makes perfect, but then nobody's perfect so why practice? 🤔 ducky88, aum, Karlston and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 4, 2021 Share Posted June 4, 2021 (edited) It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant. "That's no offense", said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?" "Before the store opened." Edited June 4, 2021 by aum Karlston, ducky88 and funkyy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 4, 2021 Share Posted June 4, 2021 According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night,the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror. There are teachers, and then there are educators... Karlston, leapinlizards, funkyy and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 4, 2021 Share Posted June 4, 2021 A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. When it was her turn, she rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature". Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it? She thought for some time and then asked, "Is it on or off?" funkyy, leapinlizards, ducky88 and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted June 4, 2021 Share Posted June 4, 2021 Don't challenge Death to a pillow fight unless you're prepared to face the reaper cushions. leapinlizards, Arachnoid, aum and 1 other 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted June 5, 2021 Share Posted June 5, 2021 Just as the graveside service finished there was a distant lightning bolt accompanied by a tremendous burst of rumbling thunder. The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said "Well she's there. She is his problem now" A blonde woman visits her husband in prison Before leaving, she tells an officer: "You shouldn't make my husband work like that. He's exhausted!" officer laughs, saying: Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his cell!”: "Bulls**t! He just told me he's been digging a tunnel for months!" Karlston, andy2004, TrojanK and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flash13 Posted June 5, 2021 Share Posted June 5, 2021 Karlston and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andy2004 Posted June 5, 2021 Share Posted June 5, 2021 On 6/2/2021 at 8:34 PM, Rainmaker said: Guy getting gas, what could go wrong? https://imgur.com/gallery/d1udaMs // R What a Dip**** cant he see its dripping out the back.. ducky88 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 5, 2021 Share Posted June 5, 2021 What do sea monsters eat? Fish and Ships. ducky88 and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 5, 2021 Share Posted June 5, 2021 Delta Airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands on business trips. Anticipating some valuable testimonials, the publicity department of the airline sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Responses are still pouring in asking, "What trip?" ducky88, andy2004, TrojanK and 3 others 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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