Jump to content

[JOTD] Joke of the day


rudrax

Recommended Posts

John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, "I'm very sorry officer, I didn't realize it was out, I'll get it fixed right away."


Just then Jessica said, "I knew this would happen when I told you two days ago to get that light fixed."


So the officer asked for John's license and after looking at it said, "Sir your license has expired."


And again John apologized and mentioned that he didn't realize that it had expired and would take care of it first thing in the morning.


Jessica said, "I told you a week ago that the state sent you a letter telling you that your license had expired."


Well by this time, John is a bit upset with his wife contradicting him in front of the officer, and he said in a rather loud voice, "Jessica, shut your mouth!"


The officer then leaned over toward Jessica and asked. "Does your husband always talk to you like that?"


Jessica replied, "only when he's drunk."

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites


                                                  Female hormones in beer

Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


27.jpg

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites


24.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites


When her husband returns home at two in the morning, the wife confronts him.


"I told you two beers and home by ten o’clock!"


The man replies, "I'm sorry honey, I must have gotten the two numbers mixed up."

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites


13.jpg

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites


A man visits his doctor and complains that he feels like he has 5 legs.

 

The doctor asks him how do his pants fit?

 

The man replies, "Like a glove!"

  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites


In the same vein...

 

e1c210c3fd85d2b515dc1b3ae015856b

Link to comment
Share on other sites


26.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Being the office supervisor, I had to have a word with a new employee who never arrived at work on time. I explained that her tardiness was unacceptable and that other employees had noticed that she was walking in late every day. After listening to my complaints, she agreed that this was a problem and even offered a solution.


"Is there another door I could use?"
 

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...