technology 10 Things About Pre-Android Phones That Nobody Under 20 Will Believe

[vissha]

10 Things About Pre-Android Phones That Nobody Under 20 Will Believe

 

 

The past. Things were different then. There were flares, and mullets, and songs by Europe. And before iPhones and Android came along, phones were completely different. Here are 10 true things you’ll only know if you had a phone before the Android era.

1. Batteries went for weeks

 

Look at us all, killing unwanted apps and dimming our screens in the name of battery life, running home like silicone Cinderellas before our phones turn into pumpkins. In the 1990s, you could charge your phone and it wouldn’t run out of battery until you were dead. We have a Nokia somewhere that’s been in standby since about 1993.

 

2. Phones didn’t all look the same

 

Today, all phones are essentially the same. Sure, the logo might be different, or the case a slightly different color, or the frame 0.00001 mm thinner than a rival's. But fundamentally they’re all what tech site The Register calls Fondleslabs: big touchscreens with a bit of case around them.

That’s been the case since the first iPhone in 2007, but before then phones came in a fantastic range of forms: magic springy things, foldy things, flippy things, things with aerials, things with keyboards… it was fantastic. We still think phone design peaked with Motorola’s RAZR v3 (below).

 

If you had one of these, villagers would carry you around on a golden throne. Probably. / © Motorola

 

 

3. The internet didn't work

 

Imagine if the internet involved you writing things down on a bit of paper, attaching that paper to a small bird, sending the bird off to its destination and waiting six months for it to return with the answer. That was the mobile internet before 3G.

We couldn’t get proper web pages, let alone music or video. We couldn’t even Google. What we got instead was WAP, which is short for Forget About Mobile Internet For Another Ten Years Or So. It was text-based and slower than Mr Snail going uphill on ice while towing a caravan. Slowly.

4. The best mobile game was Snake

 

Quote

 

INT. MOBILE PHONE SHOP: DAY

 

CUSTOMER: Hey, I wanna buy a phone!

 

SALESPERSON: Certainly! How about this?

 

CUSTOMER: Does it have Snake?

 

SALESPERSON: No, but it has —

 

CUSTOMER: No Snake? No sale!

 

 

That’s pretty much how it went down in the late 1990s. Nokia’s Snake might look primitive now, but a lack of it was the deal-breaker for many phone buyers.

 

Snake: so good they made it again. MGS V it ain't. / © Nokia

 

 

5. Nobody wanted a touchscreen

 

There was a really good reason for that: all touchscreens were terrible. Today’s capacitive multi-touch screens are fast and fluid, but pre-2007, any phone with a touchscreen had a resistive one that you had to poke with a stylus, and you had to calibrate that or the screen would decide you’d tapped about two centimetres away from where you actually had.

 

6. Windows was the future

 

No, honestly. It was. We remember standing on an LA boardwalk marvelling at the Orange SPV, a tiny smartphone running Windows Mobile, built by HTC. Imagine the thrill: Windows! On a phone! As so often happens, Microsoft was way ahead of everybody else, but ended up watching its competitors take its ideas and do them better.

 

We thought these were pretty sexy. Don't judge us. / © AndroidPIT

 

7. Nokia was Apple

 

It’s impossible to exaggerate how important Nokia was, or how exciting their handsets were. Boom! A phone with a spring-loaded cover! Boom! A phone that turns into a little laptop! Boom! A phone that looks like it’s been designed by a bunch of drunks! In Finland, phone time was fun time.

 

8. We paid actual money to replace the operator logo

 

Come to think of it, we paid money for everything. Mobile data? Ker-ching! Ringtones? Ker-ching! Wallpaper? Ker-ching! Voicemails? Ker-ching! We even paid to send SMSs. The world before WhatsApp and Wi-Fi was a pricey place.

9. Crazy Frog was a thing

 

A terrible, terrible thing. It was used to advertised ringtones, which people used to buy (see point 8). You can watch the video below, if you want to, but don't say we didn't warn you.

 

https://youtu.be/v8CIDdKvUkg

10. Phones were unbreakable

 

So far this month we’ve shelled out for new screens for one smartphone and two tablets, the second of which got smashed twice.

 

Back in the day, if you dropped your Nokia on the floor it would smash the floor. If you put it on train tracks it’d break the train. And all over the world, people wondered: what would happen if you put the unstoppable force of Chuck Norris against the indestructible object of the Nokia 2210?

 

 

Do you have any fond or foul memories of phones from the pre-Android days? Tell us about them below.

 

Source

[smallhagrid]

Funny !!

Until I read down a ways I actually thought this might be about pre-cellular phones...surprise !!

 

The very 1st cellular users (like myself) had what folks now would call GIGANTIC - 3 watt bag phones with corded handsets.

They were like something out of the military and were quite heavy with their big gel cell batteries.

They were also GREAT - could make calls from anyplace because they were so powerful.

Of course they probably cooked their users and anyone else nearby too - but they worked really well.

 

I was really pissed when the carrier told me I had to get one a them teeny things - but I got used to it after a while - even got used to the weak ass reception & not being able to make or get calls as much anymore.

 

And finally...

Smartphones are here.

I have yet to use one in cellular mode - mine are both Wifi-only, but I like them - generally.

 

Thanks for the hysterical (historical) perspective Vissha.

[VileTouch]

pre android but after... dumb-phones? there was a thing called Blackberry, and most importantly bbmessenger. that people would do anything to get. even when given the option between a BB and an android phone they would look down on it and say pfft. that thing doesn't even have bbmessenger, what do i want it for? this is before whatsapp of course.

and they were probably right as EVERYONE and their cat was using bb, it made sense. android apps were scarce and lackluster in comparison.

 

kinda silly fixation, come to think of it. blackberry were terrible, terrible phones.

[Halteclere]

I can relate! ...I feel old.