aum Posted December 2, 2022 Share Posted December 2, 2022 A little boy came home eating a big candy bar. Seeing the candy bar, his mother remembered he had already spent all his allowance money. Surprised, she asked him where he got it. "I bought it at the store with the dollar you gave me," he said. "But that dollar was for Sunday School," his mother replied. Smiling, the boy said, "I know, Mom, but the Pastor met me at the door and got me in for free!" ducky88 and funkyy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rainmaker Posted December 2, 2022 Share Posted December 2, 2022 LJ ducky88 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted December 3, 2022 Share Posted December 3, 2022 aum, ducky88, funkyy and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 3, 2022 Share Posted December 3, 2022 Teacher: I hope I didn't just see you looking at Harry's paper, Raymond! Raymond: I hope so too, teacher! TrojanK, ducky88, lurch234 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 3, 2022 Share Posted December 3, 2022 A Mormon acquaintance once pushed Mark Twain into an argument on the issue of polygamy. After long and tedious expositions justifying the practice, the Mormon demanded that Twain cite any passage of scripture expressly forbidding polygamy. "Nothing easier," Twain replied. "No man can serve two masters." funkyy, ducky88, lurch234 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pc71520 Posted December 3, 2022 Share Posted December 3, 2022 How do Barbers drive to work? They take...Shortcuts... Karlston and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akaneharuka Posted December 3, 2022 Share Posted December 3, 2022 Karlston, funkyy, ducky88 and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted December 3, 2022 Share Posted December 3, 2022 I thought about being rich...... and it doesn't mean so much. Just look at Henry Ford, all those millions and he never owned a Cadillac! aum, funkyy, Karlston and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted December 4, 2022 Share Posted December 4, 2022 Think I just made my boyfriend a puppy milk latte Akaneharuka, ducky88, lurch234 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted December 4, 2022 Share Posted December 4, 2022 This grocery store gets it funkyy, lurch234, Akaneharuka and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurch234 Posted December 4, 2022 Share Posted December 4, 2022 1 hour ago, Karlston said: Think I just made my boyfriend a puppy milk latte Anyone remember the mafias rat milking farm in the Simpsons? leapinlizards, Karlston and ducky88 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pc71520 Posted December 4, 2022 Share Posted December 4, 2022 -Teacher: Class, how do we call it when a writer steals ideas from one person? -Students: Plagiarism. -Teacher: Correct! Then, little John asks: And when a writer steals ideas from many persons? -Teacher: It's Plagiarism again! -Little John: Oh, no! I thought it was called...Research... Akaneharuka, funkyy, ducky88 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted December 4, 2022 Share Posted December 4, 2022 Welcome back from vacation! pc71520, ducky88 and aum 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pc71520 Posted December 5, 2022 Share Posted December 5, 2022 I was going to Quit all my bad habits for the new year! Then, I remembered that nobody likes a Quitter... Karlston and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 5, 2022 Share Posted December 5, 2022 One afternoon in the Arctic, a father polar bear and his son polar bear were sitting in the snow. The son polar bear turned to his father and asked, "Dad, am I 100% polar bear?" "Of course, son, you're 100% polar bear." A few minutes pass, and the son polar bear turns to his father again and says, "Dad, tell me the truth. I can take it. Am I 100% polar bear? No brown bear or panda bear or grizzly bear?" "Son, I'm 100% polar bear and your mother is 100% polar bear, so you're certainly 100% polar bear." A few more minutes pass, and the son polar bear again turns to his father and says, "Dad, don't think your sparing my feelings if it's not true. I really need to know. Am I really 100% polar bear?" Distressed by this continued questioning, the father polar bear finally asked his son, "Why do you keep asking if you're 100% polar bear?" "Because I'm freezing to death out here!" ducky88 and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 5, 2022 Share Posted December 5, 2022 The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 'Hello.' 'Mrs. Sanders, please.' 'Speaking.' 'Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good.' 'What do you mean?' Mrs. Sanders asks nervously. 'Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which.' 'That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?' questioned Mrs. Sanders. 'Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time.' 'Well, what am I supposed to do now?' 'The folks at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him.' Karlston and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 5, 2022 Share Posted December 5, 2022 ducky88 and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 5, 2022 Share Posted December 5, 2022 funkyy, Karlston, TrojanK and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 5, 2022 Share Posted December 5, 2022 funkyy, Karlston and ducky88 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 5, 2022 Share Posted December 5, 2022 ducky88, funkyy and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 5, 2022 Share Posted December 5, 2022 ducky88, funkyy and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 5, 2022 Share Posted December 5, 2022 funkyy, TrojanK, ducky88 and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted December 5, 2022 Share Posted December 5, 2022 leapinlizards, Karlston, funkyy and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted December 6, 2022 Share Posted December 6, 2022 When my wife left, I was sad, upset and lonely. Since then I've got a dog, bought a new motorbike, shagged two women and blown a grand on drugs and drink. She'll go mental when she gets home from work. funkyy, pc71520 and aum 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pc71520 Posted December 6, 2022 Share Posted December 6, 2022 Jane: Doctor, both my Ears are Red and really in Pain. Doctor: What happened? Jane: I was ironing a shirt and then, the Phone rang. I accidentally picked up the Iron instead of my Handphone !!! Doctor: What about the other Ear? Why is it Red, too ? Jane: The stupid fella called back!!! aum, Karlston, ducky88 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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