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[JOTD] Joke of the day


rudrax

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Ouch, what a fine! It should've been challenged. Exceeding the speed limit by 201 km/h is NOT "exceeding the speed limit by more than 201 km/h". That's our wonderful State government for you... :rolleyes:

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“Darling, can I go out in this dress?”

“Yes dear, it’s already dark out.”

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Edited by Abacaxi
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A robber robs a bank, gets all the money and is about to leave, but before that he asks a customer who’s lying on the floor, “Have you seen me rob this bank?”
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“Yes, sir,” says the customer and gets promptly shot. 
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“Have you seen me rob this bank?” the robber asks another customer.
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“Absolutely not, sir, but my wife here saw everything!”

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A little boy looks at his mum at a wedding and says, “Mummy, why is the girl dressed all in white?” 
His mum answers, “The girls is called a bride and she is in white because she’s very happy and this is the happiest day of her life.” 

The boy nods and then says, “OK, and why is the boy all in black?”

Edited by Abacaxi
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A man noticed his credit card has been stolen - but he never reported it. The thief was still spending considerably less than his wife.“

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What's the difference between a bachelor and a married man?

Bachelor comes home, checks out what's in the fridge & goes to bed. Married man comes home, checks out what's in the bed & goes to the fridge.  

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Boss: Congratulations! I'm promoting you to manage our Montreal office!

 

Young man (disappointed): But sir! There's nothing up there but bar girls and hockey players.

 

Boss (now insulted): I'll have you know that MY MOTHER is from Montreal!

 

Young man (thinking fast): No kidding? What hockey team did she play on?

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