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Hilarious Conversations.


Rudeboy2025

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Rudeboy2025

t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right

BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...

BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH

BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU

BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES

BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY

BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES

BlackAdder> IN FACT

BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW

BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE

BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG

*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*

*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )

t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right

CRCError> right

heartless> Right.

r3v> right

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<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK

<tatclass> er.

<tatclass> hi.

<andy\code> A common typo.

<tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.

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<DeadMansHand> haha, last night, me and pete went out to celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk

<DeadMansHand> we got this great idea to bury eachother in the sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first

<DeadMansHand> took about a half hour, but the water got up to my face so i freaked and got out

<DeadMansHand> i looked around for pete and he must've chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh

<DeadMansHand> What'd he say when he woke up this morning?

<Thirteen-> uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you?

<DeadMansHand> holy fuck.

<DeadMansHand> i fucking hope im wrong about what im thinking right now

<DeadMansHand> im fucking going back to the beach to make sure

<DeadMansHand> if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be worrying about this

<Thirteen-> will do. you better hope he's not still buried, you'll be in deep shit.

quit: (DeadMansHand)

<Tyran> wtf? pete came home last night you fuck. Ken's going to be worrying about this shit all day

<Thirteen-> haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts

join: (PeteRepeat) ([email protected])

<PeteRepeat> fucking ken

<PeteRepeat> ken... that fucker buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot

<quiqsilver> pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought he was with you.

<PeteRepeat> oh fuck.

<PeteRepeat> if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to think i care or anything.

quit: (PeteRepeat)

<Thirteen-> rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise when they meet at the beach.

<Tyran> i can't beleive how perfect their timing was

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<JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book

<JonJonB> Let's see the results...

<JonJonB> "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.

<JonJonB> "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

<JonJonB> A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

<JonJonB> "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."

<JonJonB> "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

<JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

<JonJonB> "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

<JonJonB> The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

<JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

<JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

<JonJonB> Ok

<JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof

<JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all

<JonJonB> "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?

<melusine > O_______O

<JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

<JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

<JonJonJonB> 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

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<anamexis> oh man

<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right

--> Beefpile ([email protected]) has joined #themacmind

<anamexis> and it exploded

<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard

<anamexis> but I got it away just in time

<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)

<anamexis> :<

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<turno> I want to fuck Michelle's brains out with my huge fucking cock, over and over again .. and then her sister can come and join us too.

<Seeker> Err turno, your mom reads the quotes on bash.org?

<turno> I'll fucking KILL YOU! !

<Seeker> Your mom does work for the church ? If she reads what you just said she'd be pretty angry right?

<turno> Dude you have no fucking clue, don't seriously... you'd be ruining my life.

<Seeker> Don't worry, I won't post it.

[Privmsg] <Seeker> Hey dude, I'm gonna paste something - will you post it on bash.org?

[Privmsg] <opiate> the turno thing? haha you fucking bastard!!

[Privmsg] <Seeker> hehe his mom's gonna fucking kill him, drag him to that church they go to and get the priest to sodomise him.

[Privmsg] <opiate> yeah and then he's gonna come fucking kill us, still I reckon it's worth it;)

[Privmsg] <turno> You're not gonna post it are you ? Please don't .. I'm begging you.

[Privmsg] <Seeker> I'm not gonna post it:) and even if I did she'd never know that your nick turno was her son Michael Savu .

[Privmsg] <turno> *phew* spose you have a point

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<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?

<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?

<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?

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<NES> lol

<NES> I download something from Napster

<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done

<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"

<NES> "getting my song back fucker"

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<T-Wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named robert

<RdAwG20> you don't live in Hope mills do you?

<T-Wolf> ya, why man?

<RdAwG20> lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?

<T-Wolf> you mother fucker

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<Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?

<Indidge> umm....nothing?

<Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can fuck?

<Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?

<Jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/

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docsigma2000: jesus christ man

docsigma2000: my son is sooooooo dead

c8info: Why?

docsigma2000: hes been looking at internet web sites in fucking EUROPE

docsigma2000: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE

docsigma2000: our fucking phone bill is gonna be nuts

c8info: Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra $69.99 to your bill per hour.

docsigma2000: ...!!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK

docsigma2000: is there some plan we can sign up for???

docsigma2000: cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dun wanna pauy that much

c8info: Sorry, no. There is no plan. you'll have to live with it.

docsigma2000: o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites.

docsigma2000: but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo dead

c8info: By the way, I'm from Europe, your chatting long distance.

** docsigma2000 has quit (Connection reset by peer)

Those were just some of my favorites. The rest can be found at www.bash.org

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what should I give sister for unzipping?

Um. Ten bucks?

no I mean like, WinZip?

:D

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Guest tensegg
docsigma2000: hes been looking at internet web sites in fucking EUROPE

docsigma2000: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE

docsigma2000: our fucking phone bill is gonna be nuts

young kid in surfing long distance shocker :o , :D :D :D :o .

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Rudeboy2025

Yeah those are real. I would have posted more but I thought that was enough. :lol:

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ROFL! :usama: ;) :usama: Where did you find all those?

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SliverSamuel

Yeah, where did u?

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Rudeboy2025

Included at the bottom of hte first post. www.bash.org

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You all haven't heard those from "bloodninja"? They're infamous!

http://www.distortedprism.com/text/bloodcyber.html

I'll post some anyway, but check the link out they have em all :usama:

Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?

MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?

Bloodninja: What like gardening an s**t?

MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.

Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out

Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.

(pause)

MommyMelissa: is that it?

Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.

Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?

MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?

(pause)

Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.

Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.

MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.

Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.

Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this s**t is HOT.

MommyMelissa: ...

Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.

MommyMelissa: What the f**k is this madlibs? I'm outta here.

Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. B**ch.

MommyMelissa: whatever.

Bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?

BritneySpears14: Aight.

Bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.

BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, Bloodninja.

Bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.

BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.

Bloodninja: Me too baby.

BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.

Bloodninja: I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.

BritneySpears14: Hey...

Bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite.

BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.

Bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness.

BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.

Bloodninja: Don't f**k with me biznitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.

Bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid.

BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece.

Bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.

Bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.

Bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.

Bloodninja: Baby?

Bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.

j_gurli13: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.

Bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.

j_gurli13: haha, ok lets go.

j_gurli13: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.

Bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.

j_gurli13: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.

j_gurli13: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.

Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.

j_gurli13: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.

Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f**king charge your ass.

j_gurli13: stop, cmon be serious.

Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.

Bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.

j_gurli13: thats it.

Bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.

Bloodninja: F**k am I hard now.

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?

eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.

BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.

eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.

BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.

BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.

eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.

BritneySpears14: What the f**k, I told you not to message me again.

eminemBNJA: Oh s**t

BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f((k up.

eminemBNJA: Oh s((t

eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

sweet17: Hi

Bloodninja: hello

Bloodninja: who is this?

sweet17: just a someone?

Bloodninja: A someone I know?

sweet17: nope

Bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?

sweet17: well sorrrrrry

sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you

Bloodninja: why?

sweet17: nevermind your an jerk

Bloodninja: Hey wait a minute

sweet17: yes?

Bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid

sweet17: paranoid?

Bloodninja: yes

sweet17: of what?

sweet17: me?

Bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding.

sweet17: LOL

Bloodninja: Don't f**king laugh at me!

Bloodninja: This s**t is serious!

sweet17: What are you hiding from?

Bloodninja: The cops.

sweet17: gimme a f**king break

Bloodninja: I'm serious.

sweet17: I don't get it

Bloodninja: The cops are after me.

sweet17: For what?

Bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states

sweet17: For???

Bloodninja: It's kind of embarrasing.

Bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.

Bloodninja: Hello?

sweet17: You are f**king sick.

Bloodninja: Send me your picture.

sweet17: why?

Bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them.

sweet17: One of what?

Bloodninja: The cops.

sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you

Bloodninja: Then send me your picture.

sweet17: hold on

Bloodninja: Hurry up.

Bloodninja: Are you there?

Bloodninja: F**k you, cop!

sweet17: Hey sorry

sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.

Bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.

Bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.

Bloodninja: Weren't you!?

sweet17: thats not it

Bloodninja: Then what?

sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty

Bloodninja: Most cops aren't

sweet17: IM NOT A F**KING COP YOU A**HOLE!

Bloodninja: Then send me the picture.

sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail?

Bloodninja: Just send it through here.

sweet17: alright *PIC*

sweet17: Did you get it?

Bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking.

sweet17: That was me back in may

sweet17: I've lost weight since then.

Bloodninja: I hope so

sweet17: what?!?

sweet17: that hurt my feelings.

Bloodninja: Did it?

sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.

Bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?

sweet17: yes

Bloodninja: Alright let me find it.

sweet17: kks

Bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*

sweet17: this isn't you.

Bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't!

sweet17: You don't look like that.

Bloodninja: How the hell do you know?

sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.

Bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.

Bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.

sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol

Bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....

Bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.

sweet17: Go f**k yourself

Bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture

Bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week.

sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.

sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me.

sweet17: you hurt me.

Bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?

sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!

Bloodninja: Why would I do that?

sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you

Bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..

sweet17: F((K YOU!!!

Bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs.

sweet17: You're a F**KING A**HOLE!

sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight

sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me

Bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry.

sweet17: No you aren't

Bloodninja: You're right. I'm not.

Bloodninja: HAARRRRR!

sweet17: I'm done with you

Bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry.

sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore

Bloodninja: Wait a sec

Bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.

Bloodninja: Wanna start over?

sweet17: No

Bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty

sweet17: You'll what?

Bloodninja: You heard me.

Bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty.

sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture

Bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?

sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes

Bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men.

Bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.

sweet17: Like what?

Bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?

sweet17: I don't know

Bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.

sweet17: I'm afraid to

Bloodninja: Why?

sweet17: cause

Bloodninja: cause why?

sweet17: well lets see

sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out

sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you?

Bloodninja: Nope

sweet17: well its strange to me

Bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to

sweet17: I didn't say that

Bloodninja: So is that a yes?

sweet17: I guess so.

Bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.

Bloodninja: Are you willing?

sweet17: What do you need me to do?

Bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.

sweet17: ???

Bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"

Bloodninja: ok?

Bloodninja: Hello?

sweet17: You can't be serious

Bloodninja: Oh yes I am!

Bloodninja: It's my fantasy.

sweet17: this is retarded

Bloodninja: Do you want it or not?

sweet17: Yes I want it.

Bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?

sweet17: sure

Bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.

Bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.

Bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them

Bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.

Bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth c**t.

sweet17: mmmm yeah

Bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp.

sweet17: Har

Bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!

Bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.

sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR

Bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.

Bloodninja: I softly suck on your cl*t bringing it in and out of my mouth.

Bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.

Bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.

sweet17: mmmmmm you are good

Bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder

Bloodninja: going limp

sweet17: HARRRRRRR

Bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.

Bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.

Bloodninja: going limp

sweet17: this is stupid

Bloodninja: ...still limp

Bloodninja: Do it!

sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR

Bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your a**hole.

Bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.

Bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.

sweet17: WTF?!?!?

Bloodninja: They stink really bad.

sweet17: OMG STOP!!!

Bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass

Bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.

Bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.

sweet17: YOURE A F**KING PYSCHO!!

Bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.

Bloodninja: And turn you into a f**king candy apple...

Bloodninja: I kick you in the face!

sweet17: F**K YOU A**HOLE!!

Bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...

Bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.

Bloodninja: ...going limp again.

Bloodninja: Hello?

Bloodninja: Say it!

Bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

LOADS more but this post will go on for pages and pages lol. I apologise in advance if there is swearing that hasn't been edited out. It shouldn't be too bad though.

I've just read through some again, and they still make me want to pee myself lmao :usama:

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Guest tensegg
Bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking.

sweet17: That was me back in may

sweet17: I've lost weight since then.

Bloodninja: I hope so

:angry: the last convo done me, these peeps are messed up bad :think:

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Bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?

BritneySpears14: Aight.

Bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.

BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, Bloodninja.

Bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.

BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.

Bloodninja: Me too baby.

BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.

Bloodninja: I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.

BritneySpears14: Hey...

Bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite.

BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.

Bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness.

BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.

Bloodninja: Don't f**k with me biznitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.

Bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid.

BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece.

Bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.

Bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.

Bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.

Bloodninja: Baby?

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?

eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.

BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.

eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.

BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.

BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.

eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.

BritneySpears14: What the f**k, I told you not to message me again.

eminemBNJA: Oh s**t

BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f((k up.

eminemBNJA: Oh s((t

eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

that's gatta be the funniest shit i ever read :angry:

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