humble3d Posted September 24, 2017 Share Posted September 24, 2017 Who’s avoiding sex, and why Sex has a strong influence on many aspects of well-being: it is one of our most basic physiological needs. Sex feeds our identity and is a core element of our social life. But millions of people spend at least some of their adulthood not having sex. This sexual avoidance can result in emotional distress, shame and low self-esteem – both for the individual who avoids sex and for the partner who is rejected. Yet while our society focuses a lot on having sex, we do not know as much about not having it. As a researcher of human behavior who is fascinated by how sex and gender interact, I have found that sexual avoidance influences multiple aspects of our well-being. I also have found that people avoid sex for many different reasons, some of which can be easily addressed. The more sex the merrier? People who have more sex report higher self-esteem, life satisfaction and quality of life. In contrast, lower frequency of sex and avoiding sex are linked to psychological distress, anxiety, depression and relationship problems. In his landmark work, Alfred Kinsey found that up to 19 percent of adults do not engage in sex. This varies by gender and marriage status, with nearly no married males going without sex for a long duration. Other research also confirms that women more commonly avoid sex than men. In fact, up to 40 percent of women avoid sex some time in their lives. Pain during sex and low libido are big issues. The gender differences start early. More teenage females than teenage males abstain from sex. Women also are more likely to avoid sex because of childhood sexual abuse. Pregnant women fear miscarriage or harming the fetus – and can also refuse sex because of lack of interest and fatigue. The most common reasons for men avoiding sex are erectile dysfunction, chronic medical conditions and lack of opportunity. Medical problems top the list For both men and women, however, our research and the work of others have shown that medical problems are the main reasons for sex avoidance. For example, heart disease patients often avoid sex because they are afraid of a heart attack. Other research has shown the same for individuals with cerebrovascular conditions, such as a stroke. Chronic pain diminishes the pleasure of the sexual act and directly interferes by limiting positions. The depression and stress it causes can get in the way, as can certain medications for chronic pain. Metabolic conditions such as diabetes and obesity reduce sexual activity. In fact, diabetes hastens sexual decline in men by as much as 15 years. Large body mass and poor body image ruin intimacy, which is core to the opportunity for having sex. Personality disorders, addiction and substance abuse and poor sleep quality all play major roles in sexual interest and abilities. Many medications, such as antidepressants and anti-anxiety drugs, reduce libido and sexual activity, and, as a result, increase the risk of sexual avoidance. Finally, low levels of testosterone for men and low levels of dopamine and serotonin in men and women can play a role. Social and emotional factors – and consequences For both genders, loneliness reduces the amount of time spent with other people and the opportunity for interactions with others and intimacy. Individuals who are lonely sometimes replace actual sexual relations with the use of pornography. This becomes important as pornography may negatively affect sexual performance over time. Many older adults do not engage in sex because of shame and feelings of guilt or simply because they think they are “too old for sex.” However, it would be wrong to assume that older adults are not interested in engaging in sex. What is the solution? Few people talk with their doctors about their sexual problems. Indeed, at least half of all medical visits do not address sexual issues. Embarrassment, cultural and religious factors, and lack of time may hold some doctors back from asking about the sex lives of their patients. Some doctors feel that addressing sexual issues creates too much closeness to the patient. Others think talking about sexuality will take too much time. Yet while some doctors may be afraid to ask about sex with patients, research has shown that patients appear to be willing to provide a response if asked. This means that their sexual problems are not being addressed unless the doctor brings it up. Patients could benefit from a little help. To take just one example, patients with arthritis and low back pain need information and advice from their health care provider about recommended intercourse positions so as to avoid pain. The “Don’t ask, don’t tell” culture should become “Do ask, do tell.” https://theconversation.com/whos-avoiding-sex-and-why-80788 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
virge Posted September 25, 2017 Share Posted September 25, 2017 You can't have sex today without worrying about catching hiv/aids, herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis and so on. Back in the 70's, everyone was banging each other with not having to worry too much. Even with protection, there is no guarantee you are 100% safe. I think if a man and women truly love each other, getting a simple blood test shouldn't be an issue before having coitus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steven36 Posted September 25, 2017 Share Posted September 25, 2017 6 hours ago, virge said: You can't have sex today without worrying about catching hiv/aids, herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis and so on. Back in the 70's, everyone was banging each other with not having to worry too much. Even with protection, there is no guarantee you are 100% safe. I think if a man and women truly love each other, getting a simple blood test shouldn't be an issue before having coitus. Most Women from back in 70s that were at there sexual peak have done got too old too care about such things and all those social diseases were bad in the 70s too expect for Aids witch came along in the 80s and Aids never stopped no one from having sex because if it did anyone under 50 who was not married would still be virgins . The Internet had a great deal too do with the decline in sex now people rather look at Porn than go out and socialize and date . The world have became a lot more anti social . They think socializing is a social network on the internet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12stones Posted September 25, 2017 Share Posted September 25, 2017 Even taking medication, I have total libido and extreme physical fitness and every day, I could do, but I do not, because there are people with STDs and it is a fact that nobody take cares nowadays it is dangerous, you can not make mistakes in sex ... One of the factors is the lack of fidelity of partners, no matter how much you care, there is no minimum of respect from the fixed partner ... And it is on, all sides and all the genres, all ages, classes, independent of their religions and etc ... Unfortunately people have lost the sense of responsibility ... No one. cares anymore is a huge confussion today ... It is more safer to watch an adult movie in internet, than to kiss someone, even this kiss if it is on the cheek, you can run the risk of having, bell syndrome. Basic rules for getting along in life: "Do not trust anyone." "Do not expect anything from anyone." "No one lends". TRUE STORY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12stones Posted September 26, 2017 Share Posted September 26, 2017 18 hours ago, steven36 said: Most Women from back in 70s that were at there sexual peak have done got too old too care about such things and all those social diseases were bad in the 70s too expect for Aids witch came along in the 80s and Aids never stopped no one from having sex because if it did anyone under 50 who was not married would still be virgins . The Internet had a great deal too do with the decline in sex now people rather look at Porn than go out and socialize and date . The world have became a lot more anti social . They think socializing is a social network on the internet. On 24/09/2017 at 10:14 PM, virge said: You can't have sex today without worrying about catching hiv/aids, herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis and so on. Back in the 70's, everyone was banging each other with not having to worry too much. Even with protection, there is no guarantee you are 100% safe. I think if a man and women truly love each other, getting a simple blood test shouldn't be an issue before having coitus. There is no love ... People love money from other people and not people and even then you can guarantee that loyalty exists ??? Not even with contract lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12stones Posted September 26, 2017 Share Posted September 26, 2017 19 hours ago, steven36 said: Most Women from back in 70s that were at there sexual peak have done got too old too care about such things and all those social diseases were bad in the 70s too expect for Aids witch came along in the 80s and Aids never stopped no one from having sex because if it did anyone under 50 who was not married would still be virgins . The Internet had a great deal too do with the decline in sex now people rather look at Porn than go out and socialize and date . The world have became a lot more anti social . They think socializing is a social network on the internet. On 24/09/2017 at 10:14 PM, virge said: You can't have sex today without worrying about catching hiv/aids, herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis and so on. Back in the 70's, everyone was banging each other with not having to worry too much. Even with protection, there is no guarantee you are 100% safe. I think if a man and women truly love each other, getting a simple blood test shouldn't be an issue before having coitus. "Nobody Told Me" Everybody's talking and no one says a word Everybody's making love and no one really cares There's Nazis in the bathroom just below the stairs Always something happening and nothing going on There's always something cooking and nothing in the pot They're starving back in China so finish what you got Nobody told me there'd be days like these Nobody told me there'd be days like these Nobody told me there'd be days like these Strange days indeed -- strange days indeed Everybody's runnin' and no one makes a move Everyone's a winner and nothing left to lose There's a little yellow idol to the north of Katmandu Everybody's flying and no one leaves the ground Everybody's crying and no one makes a sound There's a place for us in the movies you just gotta lay around Nobody told me there'd be days like these Nobody told me there'd be days like these Nobody told me there'd be days like these Strange days indeed -- most peculiar, mama Everybody's smoking and no one's getting high Everybody's flying and never touch the sky There's a UFO over New York and I ain't too surprised Nobody told me there'd be days like these Nobody told me there'd be days like these Nobody told me there'd be days like these Strange days indeed -- most peculiar, mama Basic rules for getting along in life: "Do not trust anyone." "Do not expect anything from anyone." "No one lends". TRUE STORY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
humble3d Posted September 28, 2017 Author Share Posted September 28, 2017 You might also mention "No one Leads"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rasbridge Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 Being old and infirm, there are times that I feel bad before and terrible after but I always feel great during sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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