Pitch Perfect Satire: NSA Intercepted Children's Letters To Santa

[Reefa]

That Anonymous Coward points us to what may be the most pitch perfect satire of the NSA's activities, in a write-up about how the NSA intercepted children's letters to Santa, over at the Duffel Blog. The concept is obvious from the title, but it's the attention to detail, matching almost point for point the kinds of things that have been revealed that the NSA actually does, that make the satire so perfect.

The documents describe an operation known as MILK COOKIES, based out of Fort Meade and run in conjunction with the U.S. Postal Service. COOKIES is the interception of the letters while MILK feeds them through a complex series of algorithms to spot any hidden messages.

Agency director Gen. Keith Alexander had previously testified to Congress in 2011 that the NSA would occasionally collect letters addressed to Santa, but insisted that it was totally accidental and that no one was actually reading or storing them.

The NSA is prohibited from directly monitoring American citizens under both Executive Order 12333 and the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act. However, because the letters are addressed to the North Pole, which falls outside of U.S. territory, they are considered potential foreign intelligence signals which the NSA is authorized to intercept.

The article includes the history of the program, discusses the ELFCHELON data center in the North Pole, and even discusses how the NSA has "routinely hacked Santa’s Naughty and Nice List for any information on world leaders." As we head into a little break, this seems like an appropriate post to go out on...

Source:http://www.techdirt.com/articles/20131224/13285525688/pitch-perfect-satire-nsa-intercepted-childrens-letters-to-santa.shtml

[SnakeMasteR]

Speaking on condition of anonymity, a former senior administration official defended the program: ”We’re only looking for any unusual presents, like children who ask Santa for pressure cookers, large amounts of ammonium nitrate fertilizer, hyzadrine rocket fuel, things like that. I mean a six-year old with a hammer is bad enough; just try to imagine that same six-year old with a truck bomb.”

:lmao:

or

He added, “We’re not in any way recommending the disarming of the intelligence community. The NSA can still spy on the Easter Bunny.”

Top NSA officials were skeptical. “What else would you expect from someone who asked Santa for a Barbie doll when he was nine?” Gen. Alexander was overheard remarking.

:lol:

[kn_andre]

Honestly, I am Overcome by Emotion by this News ... But Quite Frankly Am Confused .. Because i Do not know Whether to Laugh or Cry on this News ???? Anybody or Somebody, please help me out ?? What do i Do about this News ?? Should i be Sad or Happy ??? :P ... Anyway, thanks @F3dupsk1Nup for sharing .. Cheers..

[masterupc]

Really... really... are they nuts or have they gathered all paranoid schizophrenia's ppl that can to work together???

It's just too sad to see how idiotic they can be... It's not laughable, nor to cry, but very pitiable.

[212eta]

No big surprises...

Santa has been an NSA agent... :rofl:

[kn_andre]

No big surprises...

Santa has been an NSA agent... :rofl:

Oh Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo........ Et Tu Santa ???????????????????? Damnnnnnnnnnn....

[janedoe]

No big surprises...

Santa has been an NSA agent... :rofl:

Oh Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo........ Et Tu Santa ???????????????????? Damnnnnnnnnnn....

Psst, move the 'n' in 'Santa' to the end and what do you get? ;)

Parents are instead being urged to use organizations that have a higher regard for privacy, such as Google or Facebook.

:lmao:

Edited December 28, 2013 by janedoe