Karlston Posted September 2 Share Posted September 2 funkyy, ducky88, lurch234 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aeri Posted September 2 Share Posted September 2 Why do locksmiths work on Labor Day? Because they are key workers. ducky88, Karlston and lurch234 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurch234 Posted September 2 Share Posted September 2 2 hours ago, Karlston said: I wouldn't be surprised you could get someone to buy some with some automotive hacking on your victims car! funkyy and Karlston 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurch234 Posted September 3 Share Posted September 3 Omitted question in Physics final exam: Having only the mass of the ass and the angle of the dangle, please calculate the measure of the pleasure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dce3480 Posted September 3 Share Posted September 3 ducky88, funkyy, Karlston and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psyko666 Posted September 3 Share Posted September 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted September 3 Share Posted September 3 ducky88 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurch234 Posted September 4 Share Posted September 4 Karlston, ducky88 and Tzcon 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aeri Posted September 4 Share Posted September 4 A guy is walking around town when he sees a bar with a sign advertising "All the Beer You Can Drink for $1!" He thinks that's a great deal so he goes in, sits down, hands the bartender a dollar, and asks for a beer. "Sure, right away" says the bartender as he pulls out a tiny shot glass and fills it up halfway. The man is stunned. "What the hell is this?" he asks. "That's all the beer you can drink for $1." Karlston, ducky88 and TrojanK 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted September 4 Share Posted September 4 ducky88 and funkyy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Karlston Posted September 5 Popular Post Share Posted September 5 leapinlizards, funkyy, TrojanK and 4 others 1 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aeri Posted September 5 Share Posted September 5 (edited) A man is at the airport counter checking in his luggage. The man said to the agent, "I'm flying to Los Angeles but I would like this bag to go to Portland, this one to Albuquerque, and this one to Sioux Falls." The agent looked suitably shocked and said, "Sir, there is no way we can do that." "Why not?", replied the man, "You did it last time". Edited September 5 by aeri Tzcon, lurch234, Karlston and 3 others 2 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted September 6 Share Posted September 6 A Dublin businessman had a tiring day on the road. He checked into his Galway hotel and because he was concerned that the dining room might close soon, left his luggage at the front desk, and went immediately to eat. After a leisurely dinner, he reclaimed his luggage and realized that he had forgotten his room number. He went back to the desk and told Paddy, the clerk, "My name is Seamus O ‘Flynn, can you please tell me what room I am in?" "Certainly," replied Paddy. "You're in the lobby." Karlston, aeri and Tzcon 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vitorio Posted September 6 Share Posted September 6 13 hours ago, aeri said: A man is at the airport counter checking in his luggage. The man said to the agent, "I'm flying to Los Angeles but I would like this bag to go to Portland, this one to Albuquerque, and this one to Sioux Falls." The agent looked suitably shocked and said, "Sir, there is no way we can do that." "Why not?", replied the man, "You did it last time". touché! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted September 6 Share Posted September 6 funkyy, sandman117, aeri and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dce3480 Posted September 7 Share Posted September 7 ducky88 and lurch234 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Karlston Posted September 7 Popular Post Share Posted September 7 The salesman at the furniture store told me, “This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems!” I said, “Where am I going to find 5 people without any problems?” Tzcon, aeri, TrojanK and 4 others 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aeri Posted September 8 Share Posted September 8 "Doctor, I have a son who thinks he's a chicken," said the man. "Why don't you bring him in for treatment?" asked the doctor. "We need the eggs," replied the man. ducky88 and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aeri Posted September 8 Share Posted September 8 It was the middle of the night. Suddenly there was a loud rapping on the doctor’s door, followed by a groan. The doctor angrily thrust his head out of the window. “WELL?” he shouted. “No,” moaned the man. “Sick.” Karlston, ducky88 and funkyy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dce3480 Posted September 8 Share Posted September 8 funkyy, ducky88 and lurch234 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted September 8 Share Posted September 8 My dad's birthday is coming up. He smokes, and so I went to the tobacconist at the mall. Turns out that place is gone and it's now a menswear store. Spoiler Clothes but no cigar ducky88 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurch234 Posted September 9 Share Posted September 9 One day George asks Ted his secret for being such a prolific fisherman. "It's pretty simple, actually" says Ted. "I wake up around 5 am and I look at my wife. If she's lying on her right side, I throw my line to the right. If she's lying on her left side, I throw my line to the left." "Yeah, okay" replies George. "But what happens if she's lying on her back?" "I don't go fishing..." ducky88 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aeri Posted September 9 Share Posted September 9 A concerned woman phones a doctor and says, "Doctor, I'm worried about my husband. He thinks he's a dog!" "I'm coming over right away," the doctor says. When the doctor arrives, the woman opens the door, and her husband, on all four, starts wagging his bottom and licking the doctor's hand. "Interesting", the doctor says, startled. "I'll examine him. Make him lie down on the sofa." "Doctor", the woman says, "I can't! He's not allowed the sofa!" funkyy, Karlston and ducky88 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aeri Posted September 9 Share Posted September 9 Mary and Jane are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long time; Mary is upset because she thinks her husband doesn't find her attractive anymore. "As I get older he doesn't bother to look at me!" Mary cries. "I'm so sorry for you, as I get older my husband says I get more beautiful every day." replies Jane. "Yes, but your husband's an antique dealer!" lurch234, funkyy, sandman117 and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted September 10 Share Posted September 10 ducky88, aeri and funkyy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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