aum Posted August 12 Share Posted August 12 ducky88 and funkyy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted August 12 Share Posted August 12 ducky88, Karlston and funkyy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted August 12 Share Posted August 12 ducky88, Karlston and funkyy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted August 12 Share Posted August 12 ducky88 and funkyy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted August 12 Share Posted August 12 funkyy and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted August 12 Share Posted August 12 ducky88 and funkyy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted August 12 Share Posted August 12 ducky88, aum, funkyy and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted August 13 Share Posted August 13 A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago." "Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times." Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted August 13 Share Posted August 13 A mother, accompanied by her small daughter, was in New York City. The mother was trying to hail a cab, when her daughter noticed several wildly dressed women who were loitering on a nearby street corner. The mother finally hailed her cab and they both climbed in, at which point the young daughter asks her mother, "Mommy, what are all those ladies waiting for by that corner?" The mother replies, "Those ladies are waiting for their husbands to come by and pick them up on the way home from work." The cabby, upon hearing this exchange, turns to the mother and says, "Ah, C'mon lady! Tell your daughter the truth! For crying out loud... They're hookers!" A brief period of silence follows, and the daughter then asks, "Mommy, do the hooker ladies have any children?" The mother replies, "Of course, Dear. Where do you think cabbies come from?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted August 13 Share Posted August 13 The professor of a contract law class asked one of his better students, "If you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?" The student replied, "Here's an orange." The professor was outraged. "No! No! Think like a lawyer!" The student then replied, "Okay. I'd tell him `I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, claim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding...'" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted August 13 Share Posted August 13 Husband: “Call 911 quick, I think I’m having a heart attack!“ The wife picked up his cell phone to call. She said, “Give me your password!” Husband: "Never mind, I’m feeling much better now." Karlston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted August 13 Share Posted August 13 A rather awkward freshman finally got up the nerve to ask a pretty junior for a dance at the homecoming. She gave him the once-over and said, "Sorry, I won't dance with a child." "Please forgive me," responded the underclassman. "I didn't realize you were pregnant." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted August 13 Share Posted August 13 TrojanK, aum and funkyy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted August 14 Share Posted August 14 Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?' 'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.' lurch234, Karlston and leapinlizards 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted August 14 Share Posted August 14 ducky88 and funkyy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurch234 Posted August 14 Share Posted August 14 What could be considered the 4 essential animals for a woman to own? 1) A stallion in the bedroom 2) A Jaguar in the driveway 3) A beast of burden for the chores 4) A jackass to pay the bills funkyy, ducky88 and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dce3480 Posted August 14 Share Posted August 14 ducky88 and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted August 15 Share Posted August 15 funkyy, ducky88 and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted August 15 Share Posted August 15 ducky88 and funkyy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted August 16 Share Posted August 16 I always fell the need to check to make sure my garage is locked at night before going to bed because I don’t want someone stealing all the stuff we’ve been trying to get rid of for years. Karlston, funkyy and lurch234 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurch234 Posted August 16 Share Posted August 16 When they buried the inventor of Tetris, the whole cemetery disappeared... funkyy, ducky88 and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted August 16 Share Posted August 16 ducky88 and funkyy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andy2004 Posted August 17 Share Posted August 17 (edited) so today i check my email and get this message from Malwarebytes.. see pic.. i've never in my life had a subscription for it.. i've only every used the keygen for version 2.. version 5 i did install and remove but it was the FREE trial. the email address was <[email protected]> LMAO Edited August 17 by andy2004 picture not showing.. its under 200kb. lurch234, ducky88 and funkyy 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted August 17 Share Posted August 17 lurch234, funkyy and ducky88 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funkyy Posted August 17 Share Posted August 17 @andy2004 What does "subscription" mean? (cough 😀😀😀) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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