Karlston Posted June 6, 2023 Share Posted June 6, 2023 ducky88, funkyy and aum 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted June 7, 2023 Share Posted June 7, 2023 "Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled, "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted to. I was keeping the umbrella. aum and lurch234 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 7, 2023 Share Posted June 7, 2023 A bossy man goes into a bar. He orders everyone a round. ducky88 and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 7, 2023 Share Posted June 7, 2023 One man said to another, "I didn't sleep with my wife before I got married. How about you?" The man replied, "I don't know. What was her maiden name?" Karlston and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 7, 2023 Share Posted June 7, 2023 The ninety-five-year-old woman at the nursing home received a visit from one of her fellow church members. “How are you feeling?” the visitor asked. “Oh,” said the lady, “I’m just worried sick!” “What are you worried about, dear?” her friend asked. “You look like you are in good health. They are taking care of yourself, aren’t they?” “Yes, they are taking very good care of me.” “Well, what are you worried about?” her friend asked again. The lady leaned back in her rocking chair and slowly explained her major worry. “Every close friend I ever had has already died and gone on to heaven. I am afraid they are all wondering where I went!” ducky88 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 7, 2023 Share Posted June 7, 2023 ducky88 and funkyy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 7, 2023 Share Posted June 7, 2023 funkyy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 7, 2023 Share Posted June 7, 2023 funkyy and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 7, 2023 Share Posted June 7, 2023 funkyy and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 7, 2023 Share Posted June 7, 2023 funkyy, ducky88 and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 7, 2023 Share Posted June 7, 2023 ducky88 and funkyy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 7, 2023 Share Posted June 7, 2023 Karlston, funkyy and ducky88 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 7, 2023 Share Posted June 7, 2023 (edited) 'As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools' Edited June 10, 2023 by aum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 8, 2023 Share Posted June 8, 2023 (edited) 'I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.' Edited June 10, 2023 by aum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 8, 2023 Share Posted June 8, 2023 What has two butts and kills people? An assassin. funkyy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 9, 2023 Share Posted June 9, 2023 (edited) 'I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!' Edited June 10, 2023 by aum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 9, 2023 Share Posted June 9, 2023 DLord 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 9, 2023 Share Posted June 9, 2023 (edited) It takes a big man to admit when he's wrong, and an even bigger one to keep his mouth shut when he's right. Edited June 10, 2023 by aum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 9, 2023 Share Posted June 9, 2023 (edited) In a hierarchical organization, the higher the level, the greater the confusion. Edited June 10, 2023 by aum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 9, 2023 Share Posted June 9, 2023 funkyy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 9, 2023 Share Posted June 9, 2023 funkyy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 9, 2023 Share Posted June 9, 2023 funkyy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted June 10, 2023 Share Posted June 10, 2023 After another row between us my wife broke the silence by saying, "This isn't working, is it?" It was like a huge weight had been lifted of me and I turned to her and said, "Thank God you feel the same way! The thought of living in a loveless marriage for another 20 years was overwhelming me. I'll get the divorce proceedings kicked off first thing in the morning." As tears welled up in her eyes, she replied, "I was talking about the microwave." Kinkymouse, lurch234 and aum 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 10, 2023 Share Posted June 10, 2023 Sidney telephones Rabbi Levy. He says, "Rabbi, I know tonight is Yom Kippur, but tonight the Yankees are in the playoffs. Rabbi, I'm a life-long Yankees fan. I've got to watch the Yankees game on TV." Rabbi Levy replies, "Sidney, that's what video recorders are for." Sidney is surprised. "You mean I can tape Yom Kippur?" ducky88 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 10, 2023 Share Posted June 10, 2023 I love water - especially when it's frozen in cubes and surrounded by gin. ducky88 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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