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[JOTD] Joke of the day


rudrax

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And I always thought planes are factory made

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Amphibious parking rules

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A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious patient.


"I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today." the caller said.


"Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked.


"No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette."

 

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I bought this make up holder from a thrift store. My name is not Hannah. I asked my husband if he could get creative and cut out new vinyl or somehow cover up the name. This was his million dollar idea.

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A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant.

They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands.

The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the woman slowly sliding down her chair and under the table but the man stared straight ahead.

The waitress watched as the woman slid all the way down her chair and out of sight under the table.

Still, the man stared straight ahead.

The waitress, thinking this behavior a bit risque and worried that it might offend other diners, went over to the table and, tactfully, began by saying to the man: “Pardon me, sir, but I think your wife just slid under the table.”

 

The man replied: “Naah, She just arrived at the restaurant!”

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Rocky Meowarciano

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The topic for my third-grade class was genetics. Smiling broadly, I pointed to my dimples and asked, “What trait do you think I passed on to my children?”


One student called out, “Wrinkles!”

 

 

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The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek.

 

I assume, she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?"

 

There is, he replied, "Breakfast."

 

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A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red.

 

One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes.

The woman asked the gentlemen, "What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?"

 

The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden naked in my trench coat and flash them. My tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."


Well, the woman was so impressed; she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work. So twice a day for two weeks she flashed her garden hoping for the best.


One day the gentleman was passing by and asked the woman, "By the way, how did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?"


No, she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous."

 

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