aum Posted March 17, 2023 Share Posted March 17, 2023 A golfer was having a tough day and in his frustration he blurted out, "I would give anything for a birdie on this hole." A nearby stranger walked out of the woods beside the hole and whispered, "If you give up one quarter of your sex life, I guarantee you will make this shot." The golfer said "OK." He made the shot for birdie. A few holes later, he was having trouble on another hole. "Please, let me make this for eagle" he said.nAgain, the stranger stepped up to him and said, "If you give up another quarter of your sex life, you will make eagle." "You're on," the golfer said, and made the shot for eagle. On the eighteenth hole, the golfer needed an eagle to win. The stranger again stepped up and said "If you give up the last half of your sex life, you will make eagle to win.""OK," the golfer said, and made his shot for eagle, winning the round. As he was walking back to the clubhouse, the stranger walked up beside him and said, "I think I should inform you that I am the Devil, and from now on you will have no sex life." The golfer turned to him, smiled, and said, "Nice to meet you, my name is Father O'Malley!" ducky88 and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 17, 2023 Share Posted March 17, 2023 A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. "Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh yeah?" the man asked... "And where the hell were you when I got married?" ducky88 and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pc71520 Posted March 17, 2023 Share Posted March 17, 2023 funkyy, aum, Karlston and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debebee Posted March 17, 2023 Share Posted March 17, 2023 I was having dinner with Gary Kasparov and there was a checkered tablecloth. It took him 10 minutes to pass me the salt. ducky88, aum and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debebee Posted March 17, 2023 Share Posted March 17, 2023 aum, Karlston, ducky88 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 17, 2023 Share Posted March 17, 2023 "That guy was so happy that it's St Patrick's day, that he was literally bouncing off the walls!" "Who was it?" "Rick O'Shea." Karlston and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 17, 2023 Share Posted March 17, 2023 There was once a hat-seller who passed by a forest on his way back from the market. The weather was very hot and so he decided to take a nap under one of the trees, so he left his whole basket of hats by the side. A few hours later, he woke up by some sounds. The next thing he realized was that all his hats were gone. He heard some monkeys on the tree and so he looked up. To his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats. The hat-seller sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats down. He thinks and thinks and starts scratching his head. The next moment, he realized that the monkeys were doing the same action. Next, he took down his own hat and saw the monkeys do exactly the same. An idea came to him, he took his hat and throw it on the floor and the monkeys do that too. So he finally managed to get all his hats back. Fifty years later, his grandson, Jack, also became a hat-seller and had heard this monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest, it was very hot, and he took a nap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor. He woke up and realized that all his hats were gone. He looked up and realized that the monkeys had taken all the hats. He remembered his grand father’s words, started scratching his head and the monkeys follow. He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys followed. Now, very convinced of his grandfather’s idea, Jack threw his hat on the floor but to his surprise, the monkeys still hold on to all the hats. Then one monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat on the floor, gave him a slap, and said, “You think only you have a grandfather! ducky88, Adenman and Karlston 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 17, 2023 Share Posted March 17, 2023 A Young Woman was preparing for her Wedding. She asked her Mother to go out and buy a Nice, Long Black Negligee and carefully place it in her Suitcase so it would not Wrinkle. Mom forgot her task, until the last minute, so she dashed out and could only find a Short Pink Nightie. She bought it and quickly threw it into the Suitcase. After the Wedding, the Bride and Groom enter their Hotel Room. The Groom was a little self-conscious, so he asked his new Bride to change in the Bathroom and promise not to Peek while he got ready for Bed. While she was in the Bathroom, she opened her Suitcase and saw the Negligee her Mother had thrown in there. She exclaimed, “Oh No, It’s Short, Pink and Wrinkled”. Then her Groom cried out, “FFS. I thought I told you not to Peek”. Adenman and ducky88 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debebee Posted March 17, 2023 Share Posted March 17, 2023 Karlston, funkyy, aum and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 17, 2023 Share Posted March 17, 2023 funkyy and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 17, 2023 Share Posted March 17, 2023 funkyy and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 17, 2023 Share Posted March 17, 2023 Karlston, funkyy and ducky88 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 17, 2023 Share Posted March 17, 2023 Karlston, funkyy and ducky88 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 17, 2023 Share Posted March 17, 2023 Karlston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted March 17, 2023 Share Posted March 17, 2023 ducky88, Karlston and funkyy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debebee Posted March 17, 2023 Share Posted March 17, 2023 Karlston, funkyy and ducky88 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted March 17, 2023 Share Posted March 17, 2023 ducky88 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debebee Posted March 17, 2023 Share Posted March 17, 2023 (edited) Edited March 17, 2023 by debebee Karlston and funkyy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debebee Posted March 17, 2023 Share Posted March 17, 2023 Karlston, ducky88 and aum 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debebee Posted March 17, 2023 Share Posted March 17, 2023 ducky88, Karlston and aum 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debebee Posted March 17, 2023 Share Posted March 17, 2023 ducky88, aum and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debebee Posted March 17, 2023 Share Posted March 17, 2023 (edited) Edited March 17, 2023 by debebee ducky88, Karlston and aum 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debebee Posted March 18, 2023 Share Posted March 18, 2023 aum, Karlston and funkyy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debebee Posted March 18, 2023 Share Posted March 18, 2023 Karlston and aum 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debebee Posted March 18, 2023 Share Posted March 18, 2023 aum, funkyy and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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